


Shut Up and Kiss Me!

by SammyKink



Category: Supernatural, Wincest - Fandom
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst with a Happy Ending, Boys Kissing, F/M, First Time Blow Jobs, Jealousy, M/M, Protective Dean Winchester, Sassy Sam Winchester, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-09
Updated: 2020-04-09
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:14:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 47,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23563648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SammyKink/pseuds/SammyKink
Summary: Sam and Dean Winchester are step brothers brought to live together by their dad John Winchester.They grow up hating each other but as in all AUs, they can't refuse the attraction between them, as they tumble into falling in love for each other.This is their journey to learning the truth that they can't avoid loving each other, how hard they tried.
Relationships: Dean Winchester/Original Female Character(s), Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester, Sam Winchester/Original Male Character(s)
Comments: 12
Kudos: 41





	1. Can't Stop Looking At You

"How do you want them? Omelette or scrambled?" asks Sam while breaking the eggs in to a bowl.

Dean sits on the couch, his eyes still sleepy, his mood grumpy. "Huh?" he grunts.

"Your eggs? How do you want them?" Sam repeats, a note of irritation seeping in to his voice.

"Boiled," answers Dean leaning back in to the couch and resting his head on the head rest of the couch. "On toast," he adds. 

Sam glares at him. "I already broke open the eggs. You either take them as I give you or I'm going to pour this mixture over your head," he speaks through clenched teeth.

Dean opens one eye, then he lifts his head and meets his gaze. Sam doesn't flinch and holds his stare. Finally Dean flops his head back on the couch and states in a much lower voice, "Scrambled."

Sam cocks an eyebrow and watches Dean while pouring the beaten eggs on to the pan. It's not like Dean to give up that easily, but of late, Sam is seeing Dean do it more often. Dean has changed in the past few months, especially after Sam's return from his six month long trip from Mexico. Dean has been more withdrawn, not spiting him as much as he used to do in the past and even listens to him when Sam lays the rules. 

Sam focusses his attention back on the eggs as he places the bread in the toaster. It's his turn at the kitchen today. He and Dean take turns at different chores each day. John mostly doesn't stay at home but when he does, he shares their work. But when Dean goes with John on some of the hunts, it's mostly Sam at the kitchen. He pretends like he doesn't like it much but honestly he doesn't mind cooking. In fact he enjoys it than doing other work like cleaning and washing clothes. 

The house isn't a big one and the open kitchen is right in front of the living area. There are two bedrooms on the ground floor on opposite sides of the living room. John sleeps in one and the other one has two beds occupied by Sam and Dean. There are three couches in front of the TV in the form of a U and Dean sits in the one that's closest to the TV from where he can watch Sam in the kitchen. 

Right now, he rests his head supported by his elbow on the head rest and pretends to watch television but Sam knows that he's watching him. These days, it's the same story every time. It never falters. If Sam looks up, Dean will avert his eyes to pretend he's watching the TV. 

"I want some thyme on top of my eggs," says Dean from the couch. 

Sam nods his head and turns to reach for the thyme from the topmost compartment of the cupboard when he stalls half way. He turns and looks back at Dean just in time to see Dean averting his eyes away from him to the TV. 

Sam knows. 

He knows why Dean asks for thyme. Because it's kept on the top of the cupboard which requires Sam to stretch and reach for it. Most of what Sam wears is Dean's stuff and since the past few months due to his sudden growth spurt, he's outgrown most of Dean's clothes. Most of the shirts and t-shirts barely reach his hip. And when he stretches, they ride up high, revealing his slim, bare waist. And Sam knows that Dean likes to look.

It gives a thrill for Sam to think that Dean watches him. He didn't know what to think of it when he discovered that Dean was watching him, but as he started to take notice of the trend, he soon started to enjoy it and sometimes goes as far as to give in to the act and expose himself a little. 

He can't understand why he likes it. No, Not because he enjoys it. Well, that would be twisted, isn't it? Because Dean's his step- brother? 

May be because it's a payback to Dean for how he treated Sam for so long. Of how he was berated, insulted and made to feel like a non-entity by his step brother since the time he knew him. All the times, he yearned to be accepted by Dean and wanted to be adored by him but was never made to feel wanted. 

But now things have changed. Of late, Dean looks smitten with him for some reason. Sam isn't going to let this opportunity go without enjoying it a bit and tormenting Dean a little more for what he'd done to him all through their childhood.

Smiling to himself, he deliberately turns and reaches as high as he could go with one hand and picks the herb. And he takes his time while he's at it. 

Dean is sitting on the sofa ogling Sam lazily while still pretending to watch the movie on TV. He asks for thyme knowing Sam will have to reach high while taking it. But when Sam turns midway and gives him the look, Dean freezes. He quickly averts his eyes to the TV. 

Does Sam know? He tenses for a moment and when he looks back, Sam is already stretched in front of the cupboard, his shirt fully ridden up revealing his slender waist. And today is his lucky day for Sam is taking extra long and trying to arrange the herb bottles in order. Dean's throat goes dry. He doesn't look away, he drinks as much as he can with his eyes, the small pleasures of his pitiful existence. 

He's still looking at him while Sam closes the cupboard and gets back to the stove. He adds the herb to the eggs and he transfers the contents on to two plates to bring them to the table in front of the TV. That's where they usually eat, watching TV.

They don't talk while eating, usually. Unless it was to fight about which program to watch. Or to fight for the remote control. Although they do occasionally fight now, it's not been like the old times. The fire in Dean's fight is missing and Sam doesn't want to rekindle it. These days they watch the same program, mostly what Sam chooses and Dean's okay with it. 

As he approaches the table, Sam puts his plate on the top of it while he comes and stands in front of Dean to handover his plate to him. Dean, still leaning against the couch, looks up at him. His eyes travels quickly sweeping him from Sam's bitch face to his body to finally come back to his face before he takes the plate from him. Then he leans in front and says in a low voice, "Where's my coffee, woman?" knowing well that it would infuriate Sam to no end. 

"Great question. You should ask your girlfriend who you fooled around with last night, that," retorts Sam taking his plate from the table and sitting down on the couch opposite to Dean. He takes the remote and starts to flip the channels on TV. 

"I need my coffee, Sam!" asserts Dean.  
"And she isn't my girlfriend," he adds after a moment. There is no reason for Dean to explain what Jo is to him but for some reason he wants Sam to know that she's not his girlfriend.

He appears to be unperturbed by the revelation but Sam is secretly happy to know that there's nothing serious going between Dean and Jo. He's thankful for a moment that Dean let him know that, but his inner bitch comes alive to taunt his brother. "I don't care who she's to you. If in the future, you want to ask a woman to make you coffee, let it be one of your little ones." 

Dean thinks of something smart to say but then he sighs and starts to eat his toast and eggs. Sam is a stubborn asshole and right now Dean's not in his right mind to go for a fight. He was out with Jo last night and came home late, drunk. Today is Saturday, he just plans to eat and relax. He doesn't want to get into Sam's cross hairs.

Watching Dean go on silent mode, Sam relents. "I and John finished the first batch of coffee since you woke up so late. I'll make another batch for you if you be a good boy and finish your breakfast, okay?" He makes eye contact with Dean, finds that Dean was already staring at him and his heart flutters for a second. He immediately lowers his eyes and blushes a little. He tries to focus his attention back to the food and TV as he quietly eats.

Dean doesn't miss the way Sam blushed at his scrutiny. Was that real or his imagination? Does Sam know, he muses for a moment. He slowly lays back on the couch but keeps stealing glances at him. His eyes follow the way Sam munches, and the way his Adams apple bobs up and down as he swallows. He finds his pulse quicken as usual, a reaction that's fast becoming a habit. He doesn't want to, Sam is his brother, his step-brother. Even though they never were real brothers in a sense, he absolutely can't have such feelings. He averts his eyes once again to the TV and stubbornly keeps them there. 

Sam is pretending to watch TV but he's aware of the way Dean is watching him. It gives him the familiar rush that he's been experiencing for the past few months. He takes his time savouring the moment and once he finishes eating, he gets up and collects Dean's plate from the table to the sink. He washes them while putting the kettle on stove to make a fresh batch of coffee. 

When he returns with the coffee, Dean is sprawled on the couch, a pillow under his head supported by one of his elbows and watching TV. From his angle Sam can see that a few buttons on the front of his shirt are open and the thick growth of hair on Dean's chest is visible. Sam abruptly stops in his tracks to take in the view for a moment longer. He imagines for a second how it would be to let his fingers comb through them; And may be feel the strong chest under his hands. But he's immediately weirded out by the thoughts. He mustn't think like that. Dean is his brother. And Dean's straight. Whatever is going on with Dean is may be only temporary and Sam is only enjoying this for the time being, just for laughs. Beyond that, there's nothing to it. Absolutely not.

He places the tray on the table. They both wordlessly take their mugs to sip. After gulping down his coffee, Dean goes back to lie back down on his spot and goes back to ogle Sam. Sam is leaning back on his couch himself, one of his long legs casually hanging down the side of the couch, his one arm behind his head, his eyes fully focussed on the damn movie on screen. 

It annoys Dean as a pang of utter helplessness sweeps over him leaving him weak and shivering. There was a time he was totally unaffected by all of this; By Sam and his very damn existence.  
There was a time he loathed him, hated Sam. But the same things that used to infuriate him tormented him now in different ways, pulling him into a dark abyss of perverted thoughts and sinful fantasies. 

As he looks back at their shared past, he can't figure out where it had all gone wrong.

\------------------


	2. The Beginning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for posting this chapter so late. The Quarantine has been too hectic for me. I hardly have much private time to sit down to write. Hopefully, I'll post my next chapter a bit early.   
> Now have a safe week. See ya 👋

DEAN

It was an uneventful afternoon in Kansas. Dean was sleeping on the sofa after returning from a football practice. He was tired and soon after having lunch, he dozed off on the couch watching TV.  
He woke up to the noise of the front door being opened. Even in his half sleep, Dean knew who it was. John was to return home that day after his last hunt that he left for, 3 days ago.

"Dean!" called John from the door step. Dean opened his eyes still tired and groggy. "Hi dad! Howass your trip?" he mumbled as he sat up. 

John didn't answer but he looked behind. It looked like he was calling to someone and a moment later, a boy entered their home holding a suitcase in his hand and carrying a backpack. He was portly child with long hair that covered most of his eyes. 

Dean's sleep left him in a flash. He got up and stood there, confusion clouding his face. His first thought was that it must be a boy that dad saved during his last hunt. But why is he carrying a suitcase? Why would he bring him here? 

"Dean, this is Sam. Sam, say hi to your brother, Dean." 

For a moment, Dean thought he heard wrong. But then the boy came in front and hesitantly extended his hand for a shake. "Hi!"

Dean didn't shake his hand. Instead, he looked at his father rather confused.

"Dean, this is Sam and he'll stay with us from now on. Uh.. he's also your brother..er.. I mean, your step brother. I'll explain everything to you in a while, can you show him to your room now?"

Dean found his voice. "What? N..no."

"What do you mean no?" John was asked quietly.

"I.. I can't share my room with someone you'll bring from the street and call him my brother. I can't."

John didn't reply immediately. He sighed and took Sam to Dean's room himself. 

Dean stood nailed on the spot until John returned after settling Sam in his room. He sighed big as he saw Dean's expression and took him by hand to make him sit on the couch opposite him.

"Look Dean, you are thirteen now and I know you possess the mental ability to understand this. Please believe me, I didn't want this to happen. But things have a way of going out of control sometimes. I don't know how else I can explain this except for starting from the beginning. I.. er.. met this woman Jess a long while ago. She was a hunter too and we went on hunt together for a few times. She was a nice woman who understood my life and we never wanted anything more than what we had." 

"Yes, we spent a few nights together whenever we had the chance to meet eachother. I swear, it's been more than 10 years now, and I never heard from her. Except for last month, when I came to know from a fellow hunter that she was critically ill and that she wanted to meet me. I went to see her and that's when I realised that she had a son who was 10 years old and he's my son." 

"She had kept a secret like that away from me for all those years. She apologized to me and asked me if I could care for Sam since he had no where to go to. Her parents were very old and she couldn't leave him under the care of child services. I told her that I would. And yesterday, she died." John finally took a long breath and paused to look at Dean. 

Dean was listening but he had trouble registering what John was saying. All he could think was that his dad had another woman and now his dad had another son. Which meant that Dean is not his only one anymore. He wasn't showing it but he was crumbling inside into a million pieces. 

"Sam is a good boy and he doesn't have anyone to call his own. Plus he's my son. I have a moral obligation to take care of him in this situation. I hope you'll understand," John was speaking earnestly trying to explain to Dean his position but all Dean could hear was excuses. Excuses for being a poor husband and now an irresponsible dad. 

Dean got up abruptly and went to the washroom. He cried his eyes out at the unfairness of it all until there were no more tears left. He missed his mom more than ever though he didn't remember much of her.

When he went back to his bedroom, he saw the big jointed bed that he enjoyed having for himself had been split into two and placed on each side of the room. On one of them, the boy sat, his hands hugging his knees with his head resting on them. He was rocking on his butt, tears falling down his cheeks, his face in a solemn determination. 

Dean went to his wardrobe wordlessly and opened it. His clothes were pushed to one side and a new set of clothes were placed neatly on the other side. Dean banged the door shut and ran out of his room and out of his house with John calling after him. 

He returned much late that night, having spent his evening at his friend's. When he entered the room, he saw John and the boy sitting at the dining table eating dinner. 

"C'mere, Dean," John called him at once, demanding his presence at the dinner table. Dean went wordlessly and sat on his spot. He looked at the boy now more closely. He didn't have the chance to scrutinize him when he saw him that afternoon. Sam had penetrating hazel eyes and a brown mop of hair that didn't look like it's been cut for years. It fell almost to his shoulders, the bangs partly hiding his eyes in the front. He was a chubby boy with a quiet persona. But Dean suspected that there was a steely insolence under all that innocence. 

John put his hand on Dean's shoulder and asked gently, "Are you okay, my boy?" Dean looked at him and nodded yes. Most of his shock was gone by then and with some support from his friends, he had come around to accept it. But he still wasn't ready to accept this boy as his brother. Stealing another look at him, Dean doubted if he ever could.

Life went on. With a lot of cajoling from his father and from the own goodness of his heart, Dean started to accept the boy Sam, as a family member. Sam wasn't a fussy boy, he was always quiet and amenable, was clean and hygienic and a good cook.  
He didn't bother Dean much, other than sharing his wardrobe, his bedroom and his amenities. He was a brilliant student, so Dean didn't have to help him in studies as John insisted. 

But Sam had a stubborn streak in him that Dean saw through immediately. Sam never accepted them as his immediate family members, still called John by his name and appeared cold when it came to taking part in any family activities. He was cooly detached, taking care of his own self and doing his duties as was expected of him. He sensed Dean's refusal to accept him as his brother and was weirdly okay with that.

The initial two years were easier until Sam became 12 and he started to mature as a boy. Sam had a quiet resilience about him that made Dean wary. As Sam grew, his coldness towards Dean grew too. They were never great friends growing up, but now they started to get into frequent fights. Verbal fights that turned into physical fights. Every small thing triggered a misunderstanding between them that later turned into a wrestling match. Though Sam was a sturdy kid, Dean was 15 and much taller than him and he beat up Sam more often than not which warranted the involvement of John at some point. John had to protect Sam from Dean and that infuriated Dean further. All that anger and resentment turned into hatred towards Sam.  
He's the "other" who took the only thing away that Dean had going for him. His dad. Dean felt miserable.

They were both going to the same local school but it was years later that most of their friends knew that Dean was Sam's brother. 

Dean's friend Ash found it to be hilarious. "You mean, you didn't tell even me that he was your brother? I was under the impression that he was your cousin or something who stayed in your house temporarily. Why would you do that Dean?" 

"Tell what? That my dad had an affair and that now that boy is my step brother? I told a few of my friends from my old school when this happened. But when we changed schools two years ago, I didn't want anyone to know of my family affairs. Besides he walks to and from the school with his friends as I do with mine. He takes care of his affairs by himself. Never needs my help. So I didn't get the opportunity to tell anyone."

"Takes care of himself?" Ash said in amusement. "More like he's the school topper for his grade. You must be proud to be his brother, bro."

"Really? I'm a pro in all sports. He must be lucky to be my brother too," retorted Dean. "I bet he would suck in sports if he ever attempted," he smirked.

But Dean's glee was short-lived when he soon had to learn that he was wrong about Sam. 

When Sam turned thirteen, John wanted Dean to teach Sam martial arts and shooting. Dean inwardly groaned. "Dad," you are aware that he's a nerd? Aren't you happy that I'm following your footsteps and taking up hunting? Why do you want to involve him too?"

John looked Dean over and asked him to come and sit by him. When Dean did, he started to speak in a low voice.

"Dean, you know that's Sam's mom, Jess, was a hunter too, right?" Dean nodded his head. "Well, the reason she died was not because of illness but because she was injured by a demon when she had gone for an exorcism. Do you know which demon it was?" He looked squarely at Dean and said, "The yellow eyed demon. Yes, the same demon that killed your mom. And do you know who was assisting her in her hunting among other things?" Dean shook his head. John sighed and said, "Sam."

Dean's eyes went wide in surprise. "Sam?" he repeated. "But dad, Sam was 9 years old when you found him." 

"True," continued John, "He started to learn Latin very early in his life and helped his mom with researching about lores and stuff. He also was quite good at some basic fighting and shooting. Dean, their story was pretty much like ours. After me, Jess found a man, a fellow hunter and married him. But he was killed when Sam was 5 by the same yellow eyed demon. She loved her husband very much. She was trying to avenge his death by trying to find him. But she wasn't successful in the quest which is why she told Sam to lay off hunting until he became big. He's thirteen now. I can see he's maturing as an adolescent and that's why I'm asking you to train him. I assure you it'd be a breeze since he's already been in the field. Do you understand now Dean? And will you help me now?" 

Dean didn't reply. It was too much to take in all of that. So Sam had the very same bring up like him? He's not very different at all then. Dean didn't expect to know this side of Sam. Anyhow, how much of his knowledge has been retained by him is something he had to see for himself.

Dean expected Sam to be a fast learner after John's cautioning him but he certainly didn't expect him to be razor sharp and an excellent shooter. Within months of training, Sam started to learn to tackle both Dean and John and he was a better shooter than Dean at many instances. 

By fifteen years Sam became a pro in most aspects of the training like Dean. Sam was also losing all that baby fat and becoming fitter as Dean noticed. He almost reached Dean's nose. He looked much more leaner and meaner. But his dirty mop of hair remained. On the days when it was hot it almost got plastered to his head and falling on his eyes. John kept advicing him to get a hair cut but Sam turned it down everytime.

Dean was amazed at Sam's prowess on the one hand but also annoyed on the other. John didn't show his appreciation for Sam's skill outwardly but Dean knew John was admiring Sam's abilities and was proud inside which secretly irritated him. 

Sam and Dean had both started to fight inside the house for trivial things and on the wrestling field, it mostly turned bloody. Dean hated his step-brother and his guts. He grew tired of him and loathed him to his very bones. 

And then the incident happened. Dean wasn't proud of what he did. It was a weak moment. And Dean hadn't planned for it to happen. It was a mistake. One that made Sam very very angry that he swore never to forgive Dean for it. 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++


	3. I know your secret, little brother

It was a chaotic morning and Dean was getting late for school. He couldn't find his tie that he washed the previous day. He looked everywhere in his cupboard but couldn't find it. Sam was already gotten ready and was eating breakfast at the kitchen table along with John. 

Dean didn't think any of it before tiptoeing to Sam's wardrobe so he could borrow his tie. Luckily for him, Sam hadn't locked it yet. He opened it wide and pushed the shirts that were hanging there to one side. His eyes immediately went to the inner wall of the wardrobe, behind the clothes. There was a picture of Tom cruise plastered all the way occupying almost all of the wall. He didn't think much of it initially but as he looked closer, he found that in the picture, Cruise was naked. It was a maniped picture of the actor and Dean didn't know where Sam got it from. And at the strategic place near the crotch was a doodle of a heart and the letters "luv" written across. 

Dean stared at it for a few moments trying to understand what it meant and slowly, the suspicion dawned on him. "Does Sam like men? Is Sam gay? " He blinked his eyes nervously a few times and looked for more evidence to confirm his suspicion. He didn't know what he was looking for but as he kept looking under the clothes, his hands found a cardboard shoe box safely hidden under a stack of clothes. He retrieved it and laid it on the floor and with shaking hands, opened the lid and looked inside.

Lo and behold, there were stacks of gay magazines with images of half and fully naked men on the covers. He opened one of them and the centre-fold was the image of a guy fucking another guy in the ass. Dean quickly closed it and put it back. 

He looked under the stack of magazines and found a few cut out pics of guys in varying stages of nakedness. And in one, he could identify Sam's handwriting which said, "Bang me, big boy." It was the pic of an attractive red head with a well muscled, toned body and a huge penis.

Dean didn't remember walking back to the hall after setting the box where he found it and leaving the wardrobe as it was before. 

His head was spinning. Sam was Gay. The realisation was such a shock to him that it totally threw him out of his element. Not that he was homophobic or anything but to discover that your little step-bro liked to take it up his ass was a whopper. 

He sat in a daze throughout his breakfast that John asked him if he was alright. Dean nodded his head, looked up to catch Sam analysing him with his hazel eyes and he quickly averted meeting his gaze. 

He didn't know what to do with the information. He was even tempted for a moment to ask Sam directly but quickly decided against it. He knew this was a big and a sensitive issue for Sam and he didn't want to step on his privacy. He decided to keep the secret to himself until Sam got the opportunity to announce it to them. 

But as days became weeks and weeks became months, Sam didn't let any hint of opening up to them. He went about his work normally and didn't show any outwardly signs of being interested in boys. For a moment Dean suspected if it was all just a dream that he imagined.

Until that one day. It was a Sunday and Sam's friend Chad had come to borrow notes from Sam for a class homework. Chad was a good looking boy who was always composed and calm. He exuded a quiet confidence and had a steely persona much like Sam. Dean hadn't given him much thought until that day. 

Dean let him inside the door and called for Sam. Sam came out of his room with a scowl but the moment he saw Chad, his mood transformed and he smiled rather flustered. He invited Chad and took him to their shared bedroom. But as soon as they entered, Sam closed the double doors which struck Dean as a bit unusual. 

Dean sat down the living room and switched on the TV. John wasn't home that day. It was a lazy mid morning and as he settled on the couch, he thought something was amiss. He couldn't hear any sound of their voices coming from their bedroom. He muted the TV and tried to listen. Still nothing. He got up from the couch, went to their bedroom door and pressed his ears to the door to listen. There was pin drop silence for the first few moments and just as he thought of pulling away, he thought he heard something. He pressed his ears even closer when he heard rustling of clothes and then a soft moan. Dean came away from the door as if he was stung by a jolt of electricity. The first moan was soon followed by a few more and Dean could hear them now even standing a foot away from the door.

He retreated his steps back to the couch and sat down heavily. He unmuted the TV but he just couldn't focus on the program anymore. His mind was racing and he realised that he was becoming angry. Sam was just 15. He shouldn't be doing whatever he's doing. Never mind that Dean lost his virginity when he was 15 to the headgirl of their school. Sam is a kid and he's still learning about the things of the world. Also, this is gay sex and he must be careful about a few more things, mustn't he? Now Dean wanted to do something to stop it from happening. 

He stood up and walked briskly to the bedroom door and knocked on it. There was an immediate silence that befell followed by rustling of clothes and after a minute Sam opened the door. "Yeah, what is it?" he barked. He was trying to appear cool but Dean could see that he was breathing hard and his cheeks were flushed. Dean leaned to look inside and he saw Chad sitting on the chair next to Sam's study table holding a book in his hand. He didn't look up. Dean could see that his face looked flushed as much as Sam's. 

"Umm, gonna make some coffee. Want some?" Dean asked keeping his expression as close to normal. 

"No, Dean. I don't want coffee. And from when did you become the caring person who'd make coffee for his brother?" Sam asked scathingly and tried to close the door. 

"Wait! You don't know how caring I can be at times," said Dean sarcastically as he inserted his shoe in the gap so that Sam can't close the door. "What's your friend doing?" He gestured towards Chad and waved, "Hi Chad!" 

Chad looked up from the book and abruptly got up from the chair. "Oh hi Dean!" he mumbled as he took his backpack and said to Sam that he had to get back home.

"Okay, wait. Lemme show you out," Sam went behind him while glaring at Dean. 

Dean followed them quietly and stood in the living room watching them through the front window. Sam stopped Chad at the end of the front steps and said something to him. Dean assumed that may be he apologized for his brother's uncouth behaviour.  
And then he saw Sam holding Chad's hand, taking him around the house to the back yard.

Dean swiftly went to the other side of the living room that had a window overlooking the backyard. He pulled the curtain just a sliver to see what was going on. 

They stood so close to the window that for a moment Dean feared they could sense him. But it was dark inside the house and bright outside and the curtain had still covered the major portion of the window.

Sam was smiling at Chad as Chad pulled Sam to him and they both embraced. Chad took Sam's face in his hands as he brought his lips on Sam's and they both kissed. It was slow in the beginning and they deepened the kiss as they went. Dean stood transfixed to the spot and his mouth fell open as he gasped at what he saw. 

Only a few moments in to their kiss, they were moaning and grunting against each other. Chad's hands groped Sam everywhere until they finally came to his crotch. Dean swallowed hard as he watched Chad cup Sam's cock through his pant. Sam gasped and hugged Chad even harder, his fingers clawing his shoulders. 

They kept rutting and moaned against each other for a few more seconds and then Chad pulled back slowly. As Sam tried to hug him back, he stopped him. "Sam, you should go inside. Your brother might be looking for you. Life's hard for you as it is with him, I don't want to make it harder," he said as he placed another chaste kiss on Sam's lips. 

Sam made a clicked noise as he let Chad go with a deep sigh. "Yep. My life's a tragedy. But at least I get to have moments like these with you, Chad. Just, whatever happens, don't leave me okay?"

"No, I won't, now go home and be safe, okay? See you, Sam." Chad waved to him before leaving. Sam inhaled deeply before turning to go back inside the house. 

Dean stood rooted to the spot as he was beseeched by so many emotions at once. He was shocked, angry and weirdly jealous. He couldn't explain why but he felt betrayed and angry by Sam's behaviour.  
First it was his indiscretion with Chad behind his back. And second, what was that about him making Sam's life hard? How dare Chad implied that Dean was making Sam's life difficult? And Sam acknowledged him by admitting that it was true. Dean was beside himself with anger when he heard Sam's footsteps coming from the front and he quickly left the window to return to his spot on the couch. 

When Sam entered, Dean took a sideway glance at him and was annoyed to see him walk with a dreamy smile on his face. Sam wasn't even aware of Dean sitting there. He went straight to his room, the grin widening. 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

It was two days since it happened and Dean was still in a sour mood. He kept nodding to the conversation going on around him before Ash caught on.  
"Hey, what's with you? Why you sounding down?"

Dean kept staring at his feet. He then looked up at Ash, "What do you think of Sam, Ash? Tell me honestly."

"What should I think? I don't know what you mean, Dean."

"Like, have you found something off about him? Like he's got a secret or something?"

Ash shook his head. "Nothing, although I think that he must be a really great kid to put up with a brother like you."

Dean found his fury rising, "What does that mean? Do you think I'm giving him a hard time, is that what you mean?" 

Ash took one look at Dean's face and immediately backed off. "Nope, that's not how I meant. Jeez, What are you all getting bent out of shape for?"

Dean looked at his watch. It was going to be 3. He had to go change and leave to the football field for practice. He went past Ash without saying a bye. Ash called out to him but Dean didn't respond.

It was the last period and most of the students were still in class. The area around the senior wing restroom was deserted. As Dean opened the door and entered the restroom, he heard voices coming from one of the stalls. To Dean's chagrin, he thought that the voice was very similar to Sam's.  
He wasn't able to hear what the other voice said, cuz it was a mumble but he was sure there was a shush and then silence fell. 

Dean's heart beat increased and he was overcome with the need to know. He went into one of the stalls, waited a moment and flushed. He left the stall, went to the sink and washed his hands. Then he went to the door, opened it and closed it without stepping out the door. He stood still for a minute waiting for the inevitable to follow. 

Just after a moment the door closed and the silence returned, there was a sigh and the sound of two boys laughing. Again, the same voice. Dean can recognise that voice from anywhere.

Dean removed his shoes, slowly walked with his socked shoes to the adjacent stall, pushed the door and stepped in. He closed the lid on the toilet silently and climbed on it. Still ducking his head, he waited a moment until normalcy returned in the neighbouring stall. 

There was the unmistakeable sound of kissing and low moaning filling the entire room when Dean stealthily peeked in to the scene. 

There were two boys kissing feverishly standing against the side wall. One was leaning on the wall and the other was on him pinning him to the wall. The boy who's back was facing Dean was holding the other boy's face and Dean couldn't see both their faces. 

But then the boy moved from kissing the other's mouth and started to trail his kisses down his throat when the boy who was being kissed threw his head behind on the wall. Dean's heart skipped several beats. 

It was Sam. And the other boy was, yes of course, Chad.

Dean was trying to hold his breath so as to not make a sound but his heart was beating so loud that for a moment he feared they could hear it. 

Sam was moaning, thudding his head against the wooden wall of the stall while Chad was kissing and sucking on Sam's skin. Chad's hands were groping Sam everywhere and Dean felt himself gaping at them again. Chad had opened Sam's top two buttons of the school shirt and his hands were inside, fondling and caressing Sam's nipples. His crotch was grinding against Sam's and Sam was rutting against Chad like a bitch in heat. 

Dean found himself shaking with unbridled rage. He didn't know why he was feeling that way. But he knew that he wanted this to stop at once. Sam can't be sneaking out of class like this to do whatever he's doing. It didn't ring right. 

He silently climbed down the toilet seat, and got out. He went to the door, wore his shoes and stood for a moment trying to catch his breath. Sam and Chad were still moaning and grunting against each other and he didn't want to know how much further they had progressed in their love making session.

He opened the door and closed it with a bang and proceeded to walk noisily to one of the stalls and re-entered it. He urinated as noisily as he could whistling away. 

The sounds from Sam and Chad had abruptly stopped and there was a pin drop silence fallen over again in the restroom. Dean took his time to finish and when he came out, he spent some time in front of the mirror, washing his hands.

He could hear rustling of clothes coming from inside the stall and he quickly hurried to the restroom door just as the stall door opened. Dean went out swiftly and hid behind a wall beside the bathroom area. The next moment, Chad came blustering through the door, followed by Sam and they both left the place after looking around to make sure no one's watching. Sam's shirt was untucked and looked crumpled around his waist. His hair was askew and he kept combing it with his fingers as he walked. 

Dean was shivering and shaking as he came out of his hiding place as he went to change his clothes.

The practice was extra tough that day. Rowan was being a bitch and as he was the captain of the team, Dean had to listen to him without questioning. Try as he might, Dean was finding it difficult to focus that day.

Dean had just missed two goals which were pretty easy to score. They were losing to the opponent team and there was a window of opportunity in the next few minutes to change the game.

After a chase for almost 5 minutes, the ball finally got cut to Dean and right at the moment the goal keeper was on the other side of the goal post. On any normal day, it must have been a cake walk for Dean but on that day, he missed it yet again. He missed it by a lot and the ball went over the goal post. The opponent team erupted in joy while Dean looked stunned and stood rooted to the spot. He couldn't believe he didn't score the goal.

He exhaled in despair and started to turn when he saw Rowan come to him. "What was that?" He asked Dean as he glared down at him. "Sorry, I was not focussing well today. I had something running in my mind, I just couldn't get in the game." Dean said apologetically as he turned swiftly and started to walk away.

Rowan was glaring at Dean's retreating back for a few secs before he ran to catch up with him. "You're losing it Dean. It's not just today, your focus is missing on the field for the last few weeks. If you don't find your mojo soon, I'd have to talk to the coach and replace you with your brother on the field."

Dean stopped abruptly and turned to face Rowan. "My brother? What are you talking about?"

"Sam came in for practice the other day and he cleared the test. The coach can include him in the team but the team is full. But he may get his chance if you lay back for a while and try to find your focus," Rowan smirked.

Dean found his fury rise once again for the second time that day. He didn't think before shooting off his mouth, "Yep, you should include him. Would be good PR for our school to represent gays," he turned and left the field even as Rowan stood stunned, staring behind him. 

Dean's anger on Sam wasn't because he was gay. It's just that, Sam had been the reason for whatever went wrong in Dean's life. And now to replace him in his team was just the last straw. He shouldn't let him affect him like this, but Dean wasn't feeling too good of late. It was easier to blame Sam for his misfortune. 

On his way to the lockers, he felt remorseful about what he just did. He knew what he did was mean and in no way justifiable. Was he punishing Sam for being gay? He made a mental note that when he'd see Rowan again during his next practice, he would tell him that he was just messing with him about Sam. He has to clear this up.

But his next practice got cancelled due to rain and the nearest scheduled practice wasn't until next week. Dean didn't bother much about it because he didn't think Rowan was going to bother asking Sam about what he said. 

It was two days later, on a Thursday evening, that Dean was in his room changing. Dean didn't attend school that day since he had to fix the weird noise coming out of the impala's hood. John had to travel the next day and he needed Dean's help to fix it. 

He heard Sam come from school and ask John where Dean was. He heard John say that Dean was in his room. Dean finished wearing his t-shirt and turned as Sam came bursting through the door. 

In all his years that he'd been with Sam, he hadn't seen him so angry. Sam's face was a bright red and he was breathing hard. 

"Did you tell Rowan that I was gay?" he asked through his clenched teeth. 

Dean blanched for a moment. He looked at him stupidly as Sam's face came close to his and he felt his hot breath on his face. 

"Umm," Dean stuttered as he struggled to find the right words. 

"Did you or did you not?" Sam asked with controlled restraint. 

"Sam, listen! I didn't mean to.." 

Sam's fist connected with Dean's face as Dean got propelled backwards by the fierce force and landed on the bed side table that divided their two beds. His hands went automatically to his nose as blood poured out, down his fingers staining his shirt. 

John came blustering through the door, hearing the commotion and he made it just on time before Sam went for another swing at Dean. He pounced on Sam and tried to control him, but Sam was too strong for John. He threw him off with ease and grabbed Dean and picked him up by his shirt collars.

Dean was still stunned, but he didn't take any step to defend himself from Sam's blows. Sam punched Dean once again on the side of his jaw before John made a dash and held his hand. 

"Sam, stop!" John yelled at the top of his voice. 

Sam wiggled his hand free and blew on it before he stepped back. "You piece of shit! This will teach you never too mess with me again," he hissed at Dean as he left the room. 

Dean sat on the floor wiping the blood away from this nose as John stood transfixed. When he could collect himself, he dashed into the bathroom and brought the first aid kit to fix Dean's nose. He patched him up a bit and stood up to go behind Sam. 

He found Sam stand in the front yard in front of the shed, his hands on his hips and looking down as his foot was drawing patterns in the ground. 

He approached him and asked sternly, "Sam, what was that about?"

"Why don't you go and ask your son that?" Sam said as he walked away into the house without giving him another glance.

John came back inside their bedroom as he found Dean standing in front of the wardrobe, changing his blood stained t-shirt.

"Dean, Sam isn't telling me. Will you please fill me in? What happened between you two that warrants this?"

"Dad, for once I want you to just leave us alone on this, alright? I'll tell you one day or better still, Sam will, but right now I can't tell you anything more than what he can say." Dean stopped to give John a meaningful glance before leaving the room. 

He's seen worse days but John literally looked flabbergasted at that moment not knowing where he went wrong bringing the two boys up.


	4. I don't bother - Really!

Dean woke up with a black eye the next day morning. His head hurt from the residual pain from his jaw where Sam hit him the previous evening.

John came into his room to tell him to take the day off and sleep it off but Dean refused. "And do what? I'll be getting bored at home anyway. It's fine dad, I think I can manage," he said as he went to shower.

Sam left to school without a word and without eating his breakfast. Dean sat with John at the table and ate his cereal silently. 

John was burning for some answers but he could see that neither Dean nor Sam was willing to talk. He knew they hated each other and he wasn't sure if he could help resolve their differences. As he finished eating he took the dishes to the sink and washed them. 

He quickly wore his jacket, picked his rifle, car keys and set out. There was a hunt that he had to take care along with Bobby and he might be gone the whole weekend. He hesitated at the door step and told Dean to take care until he'd be back.

Dean watched his father leave and he set off to school himself after locking the door and leaving the key under a rock nearby.

When he reached school, he could see that there was a buzz going on but he wasn't sure what it was about. When Ash saw him, he came running to him and took him away to the cafeteria.

"Hey, what happened to your face?" he asked looking alarmed. "Did you run into a door or something?"

"I'll tell you about that later. So, what's going on here? Why are people huddling together? I even saw some look in my direction. What's the matter?"

"You mean, you don't know?" Ash asked him in surprise.

"Know what?" Dean's heartbeat increased suspecting it had something to do with him.

"Sam came out in front of the whole school yesterday. It was surreal. He got on that chair there and announced to everyone around him that he is gay."

Dean's mouth fell open. "He did what?"

Ash continued. "Witnesses present said that a fight broke out between Sam and his classmate Mike when Mike called him a faggot. And when someone asked him how he knew, he said..," Ash paused to look at Dean, "I don't know how, but he seems to have said that you told Mike's brother Rowan that Sam was gay. Did you tell Rowan that Dean? Is that what it was you were insinuating to me yesterday about Sam?"

Dean face palmed himself and sat down heavily on the chair. "Are Rowan and Mike brothers? I'd be damned," he rolled his eyes.

"Now I'm no expert in sibling relations, but why would you do that Dean? That was a bitch move on your part." 

"Look, I didn't know why I did that okay? Also I didn't tell him that as a fact, just made a messy joke. I was livid by the way he threatened to replace me with Sam in the team, alright?" Dean wiped his face with his hands and continued, "Okay, so why did Sam announce to everyone? He didn't have to. He could have denied it as a false rumour."

"Listen to yourself," Ash exclaimed unbelievingly. "Why should he deny? Is being Gay wrong? I think he did the best thing by coming out to everyone since he doesn't have to hide his sexuality anymore," Ash reasoned. "Especially after the way he was outed by his brother."

"Okay, okay, I agree. I was wrong, alright? That's why I took all the blows he rained on me yesterday after coming home. I feel like shit, okay? You don't have to rub it in." Dean put his head in his hands as the bell to the first class rang. 

Ash looked at Dean for a few thoughtful moments and then said, "Okay, c'mon let's get to class now. Let's hope the hype dies down in a day or two."

Ash was right. The hype did die down in a few days as the students found something else to talk about. But Sam's bitterness didn't die down. He continued to ignore Dean for a long time even after that.

It was 5 months after that, one day, Sam came home all excited. "Where's John?" he asked Dean breathlessly.

Dean pointed his fingers towards the garage. Sam threw his bag on the couch, opened it, took out a paper and pen and dashed off to the shed. Dean was curious to know what happened, so he followed him. 

John was bent under the hood of the impala when Sam approached him. "John! I got something very important to tell you. I'll need your signature on this form to be submitted tomorrow."

John closed the hood and wiped his hands on the rag from his pocket. "What is it?" he asked as he took the paper from Sam's hand and started reading it.

"A student exchange program," exclaimed Sam. "If I'm chosen, I can go to Mexico as an exchange student," he added excitedly.

"For six months," questioned John. That's a hell of a long time, Sam."

"I know. But you hardly learn anything if the time is any lesser. You need at least 6 months to learn about their country, culture and get adjusted to their system, John. Besides, it'd be fun. It'd be a nice change for me and a good riddance for Dean too."

John put down the form and looked at Sam. "Look Sam, I don't know what went down between you two but I really need you to cut Dean some slack. I don't know what he did to warrant your punches but whatever it was, I want you to put that in the past, you hear me? I'll sign this form for you but only if you let go of this feud with Dean."

Sam looked sullen for a moment as he looked like he was mulling things in his mind and finally he shrugged his shoulders. "Okay, fine. I'll let go of the fued with him. But only what has happened so far till now. If he starts something new, that's not on me, okay?"

"Fair deal," said John relieved as he put the form on the hood of the impala and signed it. "So when are you supposed to leave if you get selected?"

"In a month at the most."

The month came sooner as Sam was one of the three other students who was selected for the exchange program. 

Sam was most excited as he packed all his things he'd need for a six month stay. That included clothes and books and a phone to contact John back home. 

The day before leaving he spent the whole day watching TV and cooking with John and Dean. All his luggages were packed and kept in the living room.  
That night he was sitting on his bed reading a book while Dean was in his adjoining, parallel bed listening to music. It was almost 10.30 but he wasn't feeling sleepy. 

Soon, Dean became aware of Sam calling his name as he took off his earphones and gave his attention. "What?" he asked hesitantly.

"Umm, take care of John while I'll be away, okay Dean?" said Sam, looking straight at him. He had placed the book on the bedside table separating their beds and turned towards Dean supporting his head by his elbows. 

"I always have taken care of him even from before you came in to our lives, so you needn't worry, Sam" retorted Dean a tad aggressively. He didn't want to fight, especially not tonight before Sam was going to leave them for 6 months but he was annoyed at the condescending tone in his voice. 

Sam didn't reply to that or rise to the bait. Dean looked up at him and found Sam was still looking at him thoughtfully.

"Dean, I promised John that I'd put behind what happened that day and bury all the hatchet with you and I intend to keep my word. It was a betrayal I can't forget but I can forgive and I've done that. I just wanted you to know that."

Dean was at a loss for words. "Look Sam, I'm sorry for what I did but honestly, I had planned on meeting Rowan the next day to tell him I was only bluffing. And honest to god, I didn't know his brother was that Mike who used to bully you. Anyway, whatever said, it cannot justify the thing I did, so I'm glad you decided to forgive me for that. And good job about coming to the whole school. You showed them that you were not afraid of them anymore. That's real character development. You must be proud."

"Yeah, thanks! One of the better things to come out of that was me standing up to Mike and coming out to the school. And I hope it's understood, but I'm still not comfortable coming out to John and I'm thankful that you haven't told him about him. I intend to take another year before I'd come out to John."  
Sam took his book back from the bedside table and absently started to play with the pages. "Actually, I wanted to know. How did you know that I was gay? Is it my mannerisms or something? Cuz, if it's so, I'd like to change them. I don't want people to guess my sexuality by looking at me."

Dean chuckled. "No, it wasn't your mannerisms," Dean placed his iPod on the bedside table and turned to face Sam. He inhaled deeply and then blurted out, "I saw you with Chad.... Twice."

Sam's jaw dropped as he looked at Dean in disbelief. "What, where?" he stuttered.

"Once here when he had come to borrow your books and you took him to the backyard and made out and once in the senior wing changing room in our school. I heard moaning and kissing sounds from the restroom and later I saw you both walking out together," he half lied. He didn't want to tell Sam that he spied over the cubicle. 

"Oh," Sam's face was becoming flushed and pink from embarrassment.

"And of course, I was once searching for a tie from your wardrobe to wear to school and I stumbled upon your collection of gay pics and magazines."

"What? Who asked you to go through my stuff?" Sam's face was a bright pink now and he looked incensed. "Did you break open?" 

"I didnt. It was already open and it was before you went to school. So I saw everything. The pics, magazines and Tom cruise with a doodle drawn across his…"

"You didnt," gasped Sam. And what do you mean by everything? What else did you find?" Sam was sitting up now, his face turned crimson due to shame and anger.

"That's all. Why, Is there more?" asked Dean feigning surprise. He was beginning to enjoy Sam's discomfort at coming to know the details of dean discovering his little secrets. 

"No. And I don't want you near my wardrobe ever again, okay?" said Sam menacingly.

Dean shrugged his shoulders, "Didn't peg you for the secretive type but it's none of my business okay? And lock your wardrobe all the fucking time if you want to stay secretive." Dean put his earphones back in his ears and went back to his music. 

Sam huffed loudly and then he went back to reading his book. It was nearly 12 when they slept.

The next morning, Sam left for Mexico with the other students. One of the student's father opted to drive them and settle their accomodation, so John didn't have to go with Sam. 

For the amount of bitterness that had gone into their relationship, Dean could still feel a sense of loss as Sam got into the SUV and waved them bye. He didn't attribute it to love or affection but probably to the habit of having Sam around him all this time. 

He'll get through it. After all, isn't this what he had always wanted? To live his life alone with his dad?  
But as Dean saw Sam get in the car with the other students and took off, he felt a lump in his throat that he never thought he would feel.


	5. Twist in the tale

Dean found the initial months after school to be very challenging. He passed school with average grades and John wanted him to attend college. He was hunting more and more with Bobby and only took Dean on occasions when he knew the danger wasn't too high. 

Dean could see that John wanted him to have a normal life and didn't want to impose his own hunter's life on him. But he also knew the reality. In their field of work, having a family was out of the question. Even if he didn't participate in that lifestyle, his father's brush with demons will come knocking one day to Dean's door. He didn't want to implicate other innocent lives in to their cursed field of work. 

He thought long and hard about it and decided that the best way forward for him and Sam would be to follow their dad's path and become full fledged hunters. Though Sam was his step brother, they shared the same father and a common enemy. School life was to gain common knowledge and other basic skills but what they'd do after that would be to help the world and save lives. Their family business. 

And Dean wasn't going to go back on that. Never mind that John had an epiphany moment that made him think that he couldn't implicate his children's lives. In a way it's already done. Once he took the decision to pursue demons, a normal life is out of the question for his children. 

Having made up his mind, Dean told John about his final decision. May be not join John and Bobby initially, but he'd definitely would join them as much as he could until Sam finishes his school and joins them too. He also would want to pursue knowing more about cars and would do it on his side. 

John didn't approve of the plan immediately but on further deliberation, he allowed Dean to not pursue college. He also supported his idea of working in their shed. He finally agreed to a compromise of using Dean for hunts only when required until he feels convinced that Dean fully ready as a hunter.

On one of his such hunts, Dean met Jo for the first time. Jo was the daughter of Ellen who Bobby was dating for the last year. Dean had met Ellen in the past, though he didn't know that she had such a beautiful young daughter. 

He came to know that Jo had dropped out of high school and took up hunting at sixteen. She had just turned eighteen and Ellen brought her out to meet fellow hunters. Dean and Jo hit it off with each other immediately. They had a lot of common interests that they soon started spending most of their leisure time together. 

Dean never had problems getting girls even during school, so captivating Jo's interest wasn't too hard for him. His past experiences on keeping girls entranced by his looks and charm helped him initially though he soon learnt that Jo wasn't just a pretty face. She was extremely brave and sharp and she was a complete no-nonsense girl. 

Dean soon found himself liking her company genuinely and started to look forward to meeting her. He found her to be attentive and a good listener and soon he started to open up to her about his life, his dark past involving his mother's death and Sam.

"Dean, from what you say, I think you've been a meanie to your little brother," declared Jo one day. 

"Why would you say that?" 

"That time you let him be bullied by street kids without trying to help him? How could you justify that?"

Dean reflected, "Yes, I was mean to him growing up and now that we are so broken up on the surface, I don't know how to patch things up. Sam has grown up to be wary of me and don't know how to break the barrier and reach out to him."

Dean was quite remorseful of late, of all those times he was mean and outright vicious to Sam when Sam was small and defenceless. He felt it to be therapeutic to talk about it to someone. Jo was his only friend now after Ash and he felt it somewhat absolved him from his sins just by confiding to someone who would accept him in spite of his mistakes.

Dean told Jo about many things but he was careful not to reveal about Sam's sexuality. It was not his secret anymore and if Sam wanted to, he'd choose to reveal when he was ready. Dean screwed it up once, he was not planning to do it again.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was a pleasant Sunday afternoon and Dean and Jo met up outside the local hamburger eatery. Jo was as usual talking animatedly about something that happened at home and Dean was half listening, half playing games on his phone. 

As they finished eating, Jo looked around the eatery filled with people, then placed her palm on Jensen's.

Dean was still half immersed in his game when he became aware of Jo's hand on his. He jerked and looked up at her. 

"Hey Dean, do you want to go somewhere quiet?"

Dean swallowed and nodded in the affirmative. 

"C'mon then," urged Jo as she got up and started to leave the diner.

"Wait!" Dean bellowed as he put enough change to pay the cheque before clamouring behind her.

They got into Jo's truck as she drove silently to wherever she had planned to go. Dean took a furtive glance in her direction as he tried to ascertain the route she was taking.

Finally they came to a wooded area by the lake, covered by trees. Dean identified the place as the Berger's creek, a notorious spot for haunted sightings. He wondered why she brought him there.

Jo switched off the ignition as she set out and called on Dean to follow her. She opened the creaky gates to the mansion that was said to be haunted.

"Jo, wait! Are you sure you wanted to come this place? Cuz, as far as I know this place is haunted."

"Well, not anymore," chirped Jo as she happily went in. "I and my mom were here with Dave and Mark last weekend to exorcise the place. We got rid of all the ghosts that were residing here. Now all that's left is a mansion that can be used by us hunters as a safe house." She quickly ran around the house and Dean had no other choice than to follow behind her.

"Really? The place isn't haunted anymore?" Dean asked as he came to the clearing Jo was standing which was situated in front of a beautiful placid lake.

"Wow, didn't know this place was so beautiful." Dean genuinely expressed surprise as he joined Jo. She took Dean's hand in hers as she walked to a huge Peepal tree nearby. She sat down in the shade and pulled Dean down next to her. 

Dean sat down and looked around him, taking in the fresh air, his ears enjoying the chirping of the birds and the ringing of the dragon flies.

"Well, it's nice.." Dean started to say as he looked around, but his speech was cut short as Jo's lips were on his. He froze for a second as his heart skipped a beat and started to race fast. 

He didn't reciprocate her kiss at first, his lips still lingering on her's, not being sure of what to do. And then, Jo's tongue sought his and Dean found it difficult to control himself anymore. He opened his mouth to let her in and soon they were hugging each other tight, kissing passionately. 

Dean wasn't sure how long they were like that. But at one point, they both came up for air, breathing hard and gasping. 

Dean immediately felt contrition at what happened. "Jo, this.. we can't do this. I mean, I can't do this to Ellen. She has left you under my guard and I can't take advantage of that."

"It's only an advantage if I didn't initiate it. Dean, I really like you. And stop worrying about my mom. If I listened to her, I'd be a virgin forever."

"Are you one?" Dean asked nervously. He didn't want to be the one to do that to her, he didn't want to be answerable to Ellen or Bobby if they found out.

"No," replied Jo giving Dean a side way glance. I had a boy friend. We went around for a year. But he had to move to Nevada. Mom knew about it. She was initially furious. But I've talked to her and we have come to an agreement now. She won't trouble me so long she likes the guy I date. And she likes you Dean. Although she told me that you used to be a player during your high school years."

"Uhh," Dean blushed. Not exactly a player. But yeah, I used to date a bunch of girls until six months ago."

"So what happened before six months? You stopped dating?" Jo asked curiously.

"Can't say I stopped entirely. May be I wanted a break."

"Why would you take a break from dating girls though?"

Dean thought before answering. "Honestly, I don't know. May be I was trying to find myself. May be some guilt about something that I had to alleviate. I felt like I was missing something and couldn't figure out what it was. Thought it would be best if I took a break and focus on my work."

"Or may be you were subconsciously waiting for someone like me," Jo blushed.

Dean looked at her alarmed, "Look Jo, I like you. Very much indeed. That's why I was avoiding getting physical with you. I don't want to spoil what we have here. I've been doing some thinking and I discovered that family, marriage, kids are not in cards for me. Not now. Not ever. I've seen so many cases going bad to worse in our line of work. Family becomes a liability and I don't think I'm ready to put others' lives in danger." He looked at her with concern and continued. "Especially not you, Jo. I hope you understand that."

"Hey, I was only joking. I'm just eighteen. Why would I want to settle down with a dumbo like you?" Jo giggled as she nudged Dean on the side and stood up.

Dean looked up at her with apprehensive eyes. "Are you sure? I'm not the person you're looking for, I can't make any promises. It'd be best if you know that nothing substantial would come out of me."

"Oh c'mon Dean," Jo pulled him up as she walked and stood against the tree. Jo leaned against the trunk and extended both her hands towards Dean and Dean ran to her, took her by the waist and kissed her. His hands trailed her body as he pressed one of her boobs and squeezed. Her breast was so soft and it elicited an immediate response in him and he became hard. Jo let out a whimper as she felt his hardness against her and she kissed him harder rubbing her thigh against his crotch. 

They made out like that for a few minutes until Jo pulled out finally. They looked at each other with hungry eyes but they both understood that it was too early in their relationship to go further. Jo finally said, " Well it's getting late. Think we should get back."

Dean looked around him to see it was getting darker. He couldn't believe that they spent all afternoon together.

Jo looked thoughtful for a moment before looking into Dean's eyes. "Friends with benefits then, okay?" She winked. Dean shrugged, "Double okay with me," he said smiling.

They both walked hand in hand as they got in to their truck and drove away. Dean drove this time as Jo looked at him dreamily from the passenger seat.

They finally arrived at Dean's and he got out. Jo came to take the drivers seat and they briefly kissed again leaning against the door. Waving him bye, she then set off to meet her mom at Bobby's. Dean stood and waved until she went out of sight.

It would have been the best day for Dean if only he hadn't had the dream that night. The dream came out of nowhere. And it shook him.

In his dream, Dean and Jo are in front of the lake admiring the beauty of the scenery when Jo abruptly turns and runs towards the tree. She leans against it and extends her hands towards Dean. Only now, it isn't Jo anymore, but Sam, who's leaning against the trunk and calls for Dean with his hands in front. Dean runs towards Sam and takes him by the waist. They both look into each other's eyes for a long moment before Sam whispers, "Kiss me, Dean." 

Dean leans in and takes Sam's lips in his and kisses him gently. It is slow in the beginning and it gathers heat as it goes. Dean gropes Sam's body everywhere and his hands fondle Sam's crotch. Sam's cock is so hard against his hand and it makes Dean become instantly hard. Sam rubs his thigh against Dean's growing hardness and moans into the kiss. 

They keep rutting against each other and exploring each others bodies when Sam slowly pulls away and asks, "Brothers with benefits then?"

Dean woke up sweating and gasping. He was shaking and shivering and had a hard time breathing until he realised it was only a dream. He slumped back on his pillow and exhaled with relief. 

Okay. It's just a dream. He's not a weirdo who kissed his half brother; He's straight and only liked girls --  
Oh thank god, what a nightmare!  
Dean closed his eyes and tried to go back to sleep.

Only, there was bit of a problem.  
Dean slipped his hand under the covers and touched his crotch. 

He was stone hard and erect as a pillar under there.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


	6. The Beginning

Dean went about his work not giving too much time thinking about the dream he had. But at times when he was alone, his mind went there wondering why he got that dream and what it meant. The nature of it made it undiscussable with any of his friends, so he had to seek answers himself.

The dream in itself didn't bother him much because dreams sometimes tend to be weird. But it was his reaction to it which made him question himself. 

He was totally turned on by the time he woke up from the dream. And the way he felt while he dreamt kissing Sam. It felt real. He's never felt like that when he kissed other girls in the past. Or even Jo for that matter. The abruptness of his waking up left him wanting more, more of that dream, him kissing Sam. It left him feeling disgusted about himself.

"Dean!" John's voice so close to his ears caused him to jump and turn. 

"What?" 

"I've been calling you several times. Sam is on phone, do you want to say hi to him?" 

Dean looked from John's face to his hand holding the cordless receiver and he vigorously shook his head. Talk about the devil!

"Oh, c'mon, Dean," John said covering the mouthpiece. "You didn't speak to him last week too. He's trying to be a good boy after he listened to my advice and decided to give you a chance. C'mon."

Dean rolled his eyes and took the receiver from John, "Hey."

"Hey, how are you?" the moment he heard Sam's familiar, guarded voice on the phone, he felt his uneasiness return.

"I..I'm fine. How are you, Sam? Have you settled well now that you've been there for 3 months?"

"You betcha. I'm having a helluva time meeting new friends and attending the new school. Everything is so different here, I'm trying to catch on the language," Dean sensed genuine excitement in Sam's voice.

"Good, be safe while staying there. Don't forget to salt the doors and windows at night." Dean chuckled when he heard Sam giggle and mumble something. 

"Oh, stop it Mark, I'm on a call with my family," Sam was talking to someone in the background. 

Next, Dean heard the other boy laughing and saying something that wasn't legible but Sam reacted to it by throwing something at him. 

"Hey, Stop throwing pillows at me, you knucklehead," Dean heard the other boy say. 

Pillows? Are they sitting on the bed together? Dean didn't want to think from that angle but his mind couldn't put out that possibility.

A moment later Sam came back on the phone.   
"I'm sorry about that. My roommate could be a handful at times. Okay Dean, take care of yourself and John, alright? I'll call back next week," he tried to cut the call but Dean interrupted. "Wait, Sam! I want to have a word with you."

"Yeah?"

"Uhm, just want to tell you to be careful about things. You're still 16. I hope you know what I mean."

"What? Jeez Dean, I can't believe you're giving me the talk when I'm a thousand miles away. And you don't have to worry about a thing, okay? I know how to take care of myself."

Dean could sense Sam's anger even from the other end of the phone. "Look, I know you feel angry but staying in the same room with no supervision could be tricky. You need to…"

"Wait.. do you mean Mark?" Sam exploded. "Jeez Dean, he's straight and he has a girlfriend. And I haven't come here to fuck around. Stop acting as my mascot or something cuz this new caretaker role doesn't suit you one bit." Sam slammed the phone down and Dean kept holding the dead receiver to his ears for a long moment before hanging up. Aw shucks...! That went well..

\----------------

Weeks rolled by. Dean immersed himself in the shed repairing cars and he seemed to even get repeat customers and they paid handsomely for him to get by. He spent many nights in the local bar playing pool with Ash and spending time with Jo and others on hunts.

His relationship with Jo hadn't matured to the next level mainly becuz Dean didnt want to start something that he wasn't sure about. Also that Jo had become an indispensable addition to his peer group and he genuinely cared for her friendship. If something happened and their friendship got screwed up, he wouldn't be able to live with that.

Of course, they made out whenever they got the chance to be alone. But it didn't progress any further than that becuz, at the last minute, Dean bailed citing one reason or the other. 

\------------------------------

It was a pleasant Saturday evening. Dean and Jo were sitting on the hood of the impala drinking beer. They had wrapped up a hunting successfully with the help of the whole hunter group. The rest of them were in the bar enjoying drinks, food and playing pool but Dean and Jo escaped to have some time alone. 

They had parked the car in the vast nothingness with no shops or dwelling around them as far as they could see. 

Jo was sitting on the edge of the hood and talking about the hunt and Dean was lying on the top of it, one leg casually on and other dangling down. Every now and then he would raise his head to take sips of the beer that he held in his right hand. He was staring at the clouds above, the sun setting on the horizon and the birds returning to their nests. The scene was serene and peaceful and after the long hunt, the best relaxation Dean could have asked for. Though he was listening to Jo, his thoughts were reflective and he was thinking about the last time he spoke with Sam and how it had culminated into a fight. 

It had been weeks and he didn't speak to him after that fight. Perhaps they weren't destined to be friends in this life time. Dean was now past trying. It was evident that they both can't get along anymore. Every single thing between them was becoming a point of contention. It's better to stop trying and ignore him the way he used to, before John tried convincing that they need to be cordial with each other. 

"What's running in your mind?" Jo's voice brought him back to the present and he got startled for a moment that Jo was able to see that he wasn't listening. "Umm, nothing. Just got drifted away in thoughts. Yeah, you were saying?"

Jo eyed him hard for a few seconds before replying. "It wasn't anything important. What were you thinking? You seem to be worrying about something?"

"Ah, nothing important either. Just thinking about Sam. He's been away a long time from us. Hope he's managing well."

Jo genuinely seemed interested, "When is he coming back? I'd love to meet him."

"Next month. Can't believe it's been 5 months since he's been away. And yep, you'll get along with him very well. In fact you'll like him better than me. Him being sensitive and all." 

"You know what?" Jo said as she crawled close to Dean on the hood. "When it comes to boys, I think you'll always be my favourite," she kissed Dean on the lips. 

Dean was frozen momentarily, and then with his left arm around her, he hugged her close, returning her kiss.

Just then it started to rain heavily and they scrambled down the hood to get in the car before their clothes got wet. They were laughing aloud when they sat in the seat and raised their glass windows shut.

"Uff," exhaled Jo as she looked at Dean, who looked sexy with his hair wet and sitting right next to her. In their urgency to find shelter, they both had taken solace in the back seat of the impala. They were seated so close to each other, their wet bodies in close proximity with the other that Jo could feel the wet warmth radiating from Dean's body. 

Dean didn't realise immediately, but Jo was giving him the look. He could see she was terribly turned on with her eyes wide, her pupils dilated and she was breathing hard. It only made sense to kiss her, cuz Dean was equally turned on by the situation. 

He embraced her, pulling her close and looking in to her eyes before taking her lips in his and she came willingly. She moaned and writhed against him and in a few moments Dean was all on top of her and they were kissing and making out. Jo's blouse was partly open by now and Dean was sucking on her nipples.

"Dean, I want you to…," she staggered as she started to remove her pants and Dean came out of the trance he was in. He quickly took stock of the surrounding and stopped Jo from going any further. "Wait Jo, don't," he said taking large breaths and bringing himself under control. "We can't do this. Not in here."

Jo stared up at him. "Why? What's the problem? Haven't you done it in a car before?"

Dean shook his head hesitantly. "Nope. Haven't yet done in the backseat of the impala and I don't intend to." 

Jo got up from the seat and sat herself up. "Hmm, there's always the first time Dean."

"I know. But, somehow, my impala feels like a bad place."

"So, where do you suggest we do then? You know what? Let's forget the whole thing and go home. Then you can be safe from me and your weird superstitions."

Dean looked at her alarmed. "Hey, don't be mad. Is anyone in your house right now? Weren't Bobby and Ellen say that they would be going out with their friends tonight?" he asked and Jo nodded her head.

"Then, let's go there, c'mon," Dean urged her to get out of the back seat as he himself got down to sit in the driver's seat. Jo didn't say anything as she wordlessly sat in the passengers seat next to Dean and started to stare outside the window. 

They soon drove down to Jo's house. Dean parked the car in the shadows and they got down while Jo went to open the front door using her key. They entered the house and Dean locked the door behind them. He lifted Jo from behind despite her protests and took her to her room that was situated in the back end on the house. When he reached her bed, he placed her in the bed and lied down next to her.

"Wait," said Jo before he started to kiss her. "What?" asked Dean.

"I want to know why you had a problem having sex with me in the back seat of your car? What's the problem?" 

"Umm..I don't know, should we talk about it now?" 

"Yeah, I think we do. Am I someone you wouldn't want to do in the back of your sacred car?"

"Jo, it isn't like that. I don't know what I was thinking ok? It's just that the car has always been for family stuff and this thing felt wrong. I'm truly sorry if I had hurt your feelings. It definitely doesn't reflect how I think of you." Dean genuinely looked miserable and watching him, Jo relented. 

"Alright. C'mere," she called to him and Dean started to kiss her again. They both rolled on the bed until Dean came on top. Dean looked into Jo's eyes and started to remove her clothes one by one. He then proceed to remove his own. 

When they both were naked, he asked hesitantly, "Jo, are you sure about this? I don't want this to affect our friendship or the relationship I have with your mom or Bobby."

"God! Stop fussing so much Dean! Were you always like this or do you act stupid just to rile me up?" 

"Only with you I guess. And that's because I truly respect your friendship. I don't want anything else to come in between that."

"I know that, Dean. I promise you, I'll not let this affect our friendship, ok? As I said earlier, we're just friends with some benefits."

"A lot of benefits," grinned Dean as he took her in his arms. "Omg, you look beautiful Jo," he whispered earnestly, as he kissed her and she returned his kiss with the same passion. 

\---------------------------------------------

It was late by the time he returned home, feeling jubilant. He was tired as he went to bed, reminiscing about the time he had with Jo in her house some time ago. 

They had a good camaraderie and they got along well. And the sex was an added benefit. Well, may be if things continued to be as uncomplicated, he might even consider giving in to commitment. He still couldn't think of marriage and kids but having a partner who understood his job and the complexities that came with it, was a great thing. 

He didn't know when he drifted off, but he slid into a deep sleep. 

And thats when he got the dream again. 

It happens in the plain where Dean and Jo had parked their car. But there was no Jo this time. Just him, lying on the hood, looking up the stars and drinking his beer when it starts to rain heavily. In a second he becomes dripping wet, scrambles down the hood and opens the backseat of the impala. 

And he freezes. 

In the back seat of his impala, Sam is lying down, naked. Dean gets in and bangs the door shut, sitting on the edge of the seat, shivering in cold and anticipation. 

Sam gets up and says, "Dean, you are wet, let me takes the clothes off," He proceeds to remove his clothes one by one and drops them to the floor of the car. 

When both of them are naked, Sam says, "C'mere to me," and Dean goes to him like a puppy under command. He hugs Sam and takes his face in his palms and kisses him. The touch of their bare skin on each other feels like fire and Dean shivers some more. 

Dean woke up cold and shaking. The night had become unusually cold and his blanket was at his feet. He felt cold air coming in from somewhere and traced it to the window that he forgot to shut before he went to sleep. He got up, still shaking and went to the window and pulled the pane shut. He came back and sat on the edge of his bed. He threw his face in his hands and tried to control his breathing. 

This can't keep happening. Everytime he had a memorable time with Jo, he had to have this terrible dream, throwing him into to extreme confusion and guilt. What was this even about? He's not even gay, much less into incest. Why would he have this recurring dream? 

Is there any truth to the dreams? That was the actual part that was disturbing him. Cuz, he was extremely turned on both in the dream and afterwards. He woke up with the want of something that he couldn't get enough of. His immediate thought was to go back to sleep so that he could finish what he started, becuz it left him hanging wanting more. He could still feel the feeling of Sam's skin on his and the taste of his lips. How's that possible? Can dreams be that lucid? 

And what's worse? He could still feel the boner between his legs. He didn't have to touch it to know. He's hard as stone and hot all over. For Sam. Oh god, this is messed up!

\-------------------------

The coming week, Dean immersed himself with work, not giving much thought to the disturbing dreams he'd been having. He didn't want to torment himself anymore than he had already done. He felt dirty like a misfit who'll perv over his own little brother. 

But as days rolled into weeks, he thought less and less about it and he started to feel better. He started to stay out with Ash and Jo more often and he had sex more frequently with Jo. They mostly did in her house when no one was there or in Dean's house when John was out on hunting. They sat in the couch watching TV and made out. 

Dean didn't speak to Sam after that and John didn't pressure him. Dean also didn't have any more dreams in spite of having had sex with Jo. He was finally relieved that the dreams were just an anomaly and ready to put it behind him. 

Sam was due to come next week and John requested to clean Sam's bed and his cup board where he kept his books. Dean kept procrastinating until it was the day prior to Sam's arrival. 

As he was cleaning Sam's cupboard, Dean chanced upon a recent picture of Sam taken along with his friends from school. 

Sam looked awfully young in that photo with the dirty mop of hair on his head, hanging well below his ears and Dean chuckled.

"Muppet," he said aloud before putting it where he found it. He was thankful that he didn't have anything to worry about anymore. Those weird dreams were gone and Sam is and will always be that bitter-cute kid who took beatings from his big brother.

He finished cleaning the bed and changed the sheets. Then he dashed out the door to meet with Ash and Jo for their usual Friday night drinking at the bar. 

"Dean, listen!" John called out to him. 

"Yes dad?"

"Sam is supposed to arrive at 6 pm. His friends father is supposed to bring them down to his house. I'm going there to pick him up. I'll be home by 7. What time will you be?"

"Oops, dad. Today is Ash's girlfriend Sophie's birthday. I'll be home a little late, like 9, so don't wait up for me. Have your dinner, I'll heat up mine and have it later, okay?" Dean said as he got into his impala.

John knew he can't push Dean any more than that. He was just thankful that they were not fighting any more. "Okay," he said. "Convey my regards to Jo, will ya? It's been a long while since I saw her."

"Okay, will do," Dean started to drive before John could add anything. 

\------------------------------

They had a lot of fun at the bar that night. They went to the new karaoke bar situated at the city limits and it became 10 before they wrapped up. 

The house was in semi darkness as he tiptoed in, opening the door with his spare key. The kitchen light was on and he found his pasta kept in a bowl inside the micro wave oven. He was buzzed but he had the presence of mind to heat it up for 30 secs before hogging it up.

He peeked in to see that John was snoring in his bed, inside his bedroom. He tiptoed back to his bedroom and opened the door. The room was cool and dark. From the light coming through the slim opening in the window curtains, he could see the sillouette of Sam sleeping in his bed. He couldn't make him out properly as Sam had covered himself completely with the blanket. 

Dean closed the door and tiptoed silently to his bed and sat down. He removed his shoes and jeans and discarded them in a heap at the foot of the bed before getting inside the covers and falling into a deep sleep.

\--------------------------------

Dean woke up to a knock on his door. He blinked his eyes open to see the door crack open just a sliver and John's head pop in. 

John spoke in a low voice, "Something's come up and I need to go to Bobby's. I've made sandwiches and coffee enough for you two. Don't wait up for me. I'm leaving some money under your wallet to order for lunch. By how things look, I might only be back by night." 

Then he pointed his thumb in Sam's direction. "He was very tired yesterday night. Let him sleep for a while. And Dean, please take care of your brother. He's back after a long while. Just don't start fighting, alright?" John closed the door quietly and left.

Dean sat up, rubbed his eyes and looked at the wall clock. It was 8'O clock. "Mmmm," Dean stretched himself and put both his legs on the floor and looked at Sam. 

And then his jaw fell open.

Sam was sleeping only in his underwear. His blanket was a crumpled heap at his feet. And there was surely something different about him.

As Dean kept staring at him, he realised that Sam had grown taller. Much taller. Dean didn't remember how tall he was exactly before he left, but now he easily the occupied the entire length of the cot. And he was thin as a reef. He must have had a growth spurt in these six months because Dean didn't remember seeing him so lanky and long. And so handsome. Dean swallowed hard.

Sam was resting on his back with one arm folded under his head. Dean could see the thick growth of under arm hair on Sam and some hair on his chest. 

His facial features seemed different too. His face had become longer, nose looked more pointy and his lips looked pink and soft. His hair had grown even longer close to his shoulders and it formed a soft halo around his delectable face. He looked serene and peaceful, like a very beautiful painting.

Dean felt like he was stung by something so strong, for the first time in life, and it was so powerful that it took Dean by surprise. He didn't realise he was staring at Sam for the last few minutes without moving. As if on cue, Sam stirred and Dean scrambled to his feet. 

Sam sat up and stretched. And then he became aware of Dean standing next to him, awkwardly in just his t-shirt and boxers. 

"Hey," he said and rubbed his eyes with the back of his hands. "How're ya, Dean?"

"I'm fine.. "Sorry, I came home late. Couldn't get out of a party that was arranged weeks earlier. So how you doing?"

Sam stood up and stretched. "I'm fine. Gonna miss my friends back in Mexico. But I'll thrive. So, John said that you got yourself a girlfriend. Who's the unlucky one?" 

Dean wanted to reply but he honestly couldn't get a single word out. Sam was standing up, all long legs and lean muscle. He was easily taller than Dean now and very handsome. 

If someone had told Dean that the portly boy he once knew, with that dirty mop of hair would become a hunk that he is now, he would have laughed at them. But Sam had become so gorgeous that Dean needed time to process this suddenly found hotness.

"Huh, you have grown," he blurted.

"Yep. I'm sixteen now, what do you expect?" Sam said as he proceeded to take his towel and enter the bathroom. 

Dean stood still, staring at the retreating figure of Sam, noticing how perky his ass looked in the tight boxers and how agile his imposing physique was, that he completely forgot to contend for his time in the bathroom. It was an unstated rule that Dean always got the bathroom first. A few times that Sam entered first, he always gave him a rough time. 

But now, he merely stood and watched as Sam entered and closed the door behind him. Crap. What's with him? "Pull yourself together, Dean!" he thought to himself. Which, he realised, with a sense of loss, was going be very very tough. 

Dean was falling for Sam and he just couldn't help it.

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	7. Sam's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for posting this chapter so late. Half of it was long been written but I just couldn't bring myself to finish it and post.  
> I was bogged down by various things happening in the world right now, so I needed some time away to recuperate.  
> Anyway, I found the resolve to finish this chapter and hopefully will post the next on time.  
> People who are currently feeling down because of the fandom and in general, I understand and empathize. Let's hope for things to normalize soon.

SAM

Sam turns to look at Dean as he hears soft snores coming from his direction. Dean has dozed off on the couch watching TV. For a vindictive moment, Sam mulls throwing a pillow on his face to startle him awake but he stops himself in time. 

He rarely gets an opportunity to look at Dean when he isn't aware of it. He leans from his couch as he stares at his step-brother's sleeping face. He looks at the freckles on top of his pert nose and the way his handsome face looks innocent while he's completely cut off from the world. He feels the familiar pang at the pit of his stomach return, the same emotion he felt when he saw Dean for the first time as he stepped in to this house.

His emotion towards Dean has fluctuated from awe and admiration to complete resentment and now it's back to… umm..? He can't decide what it is.

He can't be attracted to Dean, can he? Sam doesn't know the answer to that except that the feeling has been getting weirdly more pronounced as days pass. The same things that used to infuriate him a while ago have been fascinating him, propelling him to be in Dean's proximity, feeling a sense of thrill flaunting his attributes to pique Dean's interest and curiosity.

Sam plops himself back on the couch feeling helpless and miserable. He has never felt like this in all these years. What has changed in him now that makes his stomach flutter everytime Dean looks in his direction? Sam starts to reflect back on his troubled past for answers.

\--------------------

It's still fresh in his memory as it happened yesterday. How things suddenly went out of hand and his mom got herself killed. How a run of the mill hunt went awfully awry, the demon turning out to be bigger than they thought and how he had to pay the price by losing his mom, leaving his house, removed from his friends and planted in a new family.

When John came to fetch him as his mom breathed her last, Sam was numb with grief. First his dad and now his mom. And then John introduced himself as his biological father and Sam let himself to be led to this new life. He was like a baby deer caught in a heavy current and he was ready to catch on any branch to come up for air.

John had explained the situation to him, of his wife's death, of his affair with Sam's mom and about Dean on their way before they reached home. And Sam kept nodding his head trying to understand whatever was explained to him. 

After almost half a day of travelling by car, they finally arrived at a house, situated a lot away from the rest. The house looked a bit old and from where Sam could see, there was a tree in front of the house with a car tyre as a swing. There was a shed on the other side that contained a few cars and their parts scattered around it in front. The house wasn't too big but big enough for Sam. He and mom lived in a one bedroom crammed house in Branson. 

Sam was wary not knowing what to expect, but since knowing John had another son, he felt that at least he wouldn't be alone in this. As John parked the car and went inside, Sam picked his belongings, an old suitcase containing his clothes and backpack containing his books and toys and followed John into the house.

But as he stepped through the door and set his eyes on Dean, he stood still. Dean was the most handsome boy that Sam had ever laid eyes on. Even more than Brandon. Sam fell in love with Dean the moment he set eyes on him. 

He looked at him in wonderment, taking in his impressive height, his big shoulders, narrow waist, his beautiful features and glossy hair. Dean glowed even with minimal dressing, wearing only an old beat up jeans and a worn out t-shirt. 

John introduced them to each other and Sam put out his hand eagerly to greet the boy. But everything started to go to shit from there. Dean refused to take his hand and left the room. John told Sam to be patient with Dean as John explained how he was inflexible to change and as tough as he might be, Dean was soft at heart and will soon come around.

How utterly untrue that was. For Dean never accepted Sam to be his brother or even a friend. As days passed, his coldness towards Sam grew exponentially.

Sam had known he liked boys from the time he became 8 years old. His first crush was a boy from second grade called Brandon. Brandon was the most good looking boy in his class. He was very tall, dark haired and conventionally the typical macho boy. At only 7, Sam couldn't understand why he was so drawn to the boy. 

When Sam read fairy tales, he always imagined the prince to be Brandon and himself to be the princess. But he soon learned that's not how things were in the normal world. 

When he reached third grade, he found his world shatter one day, when he reached school early and opened the class door to find Brandon kissing the most beautiful girl of the class, Suzanne. He stood rooted to the spot and watched them kiss for a full minute before running away to the toilet and cry his eyes out. 

That's when he started to look around and find that in the normal world, boys liked girls and girls liked boys. It confused him further as to why he would be different. He's not supposed to be attracted to Brandon, who's a boy. But he was. He tried to think of Suzanne and he drew a blank. It scared Sam to no end and he kept his secret to himself. 

But his mom found out one day, when she saw him crying in his bed and she made him blurt out his secret. But man, he was thankful he did because, Jess was so understanding about his plight and told him that he wasn't a freak or something to like boys. She told him that he could be gay and that it's totally normal to be that. She told him to relax and revisit his feelings after a few years just to be sure. And if he found himself to have such feelings even then, then he can openly come out and she'd fully support him. But she got killed six months after the incident and he was afraid to speak about it to anyone much less to John. 

And when he saw Dean for the first time, the feelings he felt for Brandon came back in full force. However, his hopes were crushed when he found that Dean hated the mere sight of Sam. 

He tried to win Dean over and to make him like him as a person, but Dean was stubbornly indifferent to him. 

At one point, Sam was ready to do anything to get Dean to like him. He was clean, he shared in all household chores, paid attention in school and became a topper in his class. He willingly took up Dean's chores and finished them even before Dean came back home from his football match practices, he made his coffee, his dinner and made his bed. In return, he only wanted Dean to look at him as if he mattered. 

But the more Sam tried to please Dean, the more Dean seemed to ignore him. He behaved like Sam didn't exist and in a way Sam believed that was true. For Dean, Sam didn't exist. His feelings and emotions never mattered. Realisation hit him that Dean was his step brother and he liked girls too.  
And with a sinking heart he realised that Dean might even be glad if Sam stopped existing. Something happened a few years later that made Sam feel he wasn't wrong about his assumption.

Sam was twelve and he was in 7th grade. They were in the new school and in the new house that was closer to school. Now Sam and Dean could walk to school everyday. There was a shorter route to school which most students took that passed through a tricky neighborhood. Sam had a new friend from the neighborhood called Peter with whom he walked. Dean usually went with his own friends. Even when Sam met Dean on the way, there wasn't a nod of acknowledgement from one another. Sam didn't mind to wave to Dean but he knew that Dean wouldn't like it if he did. So he kept to himself. 

On the fateful day, Peter couldn't attend school, so Sam had to go alone. On the way, a set of neighborhood delinquents stopped Sam to steal the lunch money from him. Sam was taken by surprise and he could see he was cornered. The bullies looked bigger than him and there were three of them. Just then he saw Dean entering the same street. Dean saw him. For a gullible moment Sam expected Dean to come and save him from the thugs. But Dean hesitated only for a moment. He then continued to walk away as if he didn't anything. 

Sam was staring at the retreating figure of Dean, still in shock, when he felt the first punch come from one of the boys. Sam fell backwards on the fence, the movement catching him off balance while the three kids pounced on him and one of the kids snatched away his backpack. By the time Sam regained his posture, the kid had opened the backpack and was about to take his money from the inner zipper. 

Sam didn't know what came over him at the moment. All the blinding rage he had suppressed for so long came out in a flash. He pounced on the boy and kicked in his leg hard. The boy dropped the bag and howled in pain while the other two kids pounced on him from both sides. Sam could see his inner hunter self coming out as he revolved, swinging the boys along with him as they lost balance and fell. He kicked one in the stomach while he turned and punched the other right on the nose. There was wailing and screaming coming from the boys for the next few moments as Sam used all the pent up rage to unleash on them. Within the next minute, they scattered and ran away leaving him and his back pack on the ground. 

When he reached school, he went straight to Dean's class. The class hadn't started and Dean was standing outside talking to one of the girls and as Sam approached, Dean left her and came to him.

"Hey, what's up?" He acted all innocent as if he couldn't see the reddening on the side of Sam's face, from the scuffle with the boys.

"You saw me, why didn't you come for help?" Sam asked quietly.

"So what? A little bit of rattling will help you develop character. So what happened? Did you lose your money? Do you want me to buy you lunch?"

"No." Sam said cooly. "I beat the crap out of those boys and I have enough lunch money to buy us both. So if you need help in the future to ward off those boys or buy lunch for your girlfriends, you can come to me, I'm right here," Sam said and walked away. As he reached the end of the corridor, he turned and looked back to see a stunned Dean standing rooted to his spot, staring at him back.

Sam walked off with a huff, his lips set in a thin line, his mind raging on, reflecting on his past three years with the Winchesters. No, he'll not be known as a Winchester. He won't have the same surname as Dean. He'll proudly call himself a Wesson, yes that's the surname of his father who had died fighting off the yellow eyed demon to save Sam's life. Yes, John hasn't been so bad to him as Dean, he'd taken care of him as his biological father and Sam's ready to return the favour to him anytime, but he would not take John's surname.

And he'll also be wary of Dean Winchester, who time and again, has proved to be the most untrustworthy step-brother. Yes, from now on, Dean isn't going to see Sam beg for his attention. He won't see Sam forgive Dean for whatever crap he did. Instead, Sam will show him that he can live independently, without any of Dean's favours, not craving for Dean's help or adoration. Yes, he'll show him, that ungrateful b*stard, to shove his attitude up his prudish ass. Sam started to become a new person from that moment on. 

By the time John put him under Dean to learn fighting and shooting, he was determined to show Dean his true worth. He used every chance to rub his brothers face with his accomplishment and everytime he won, he saw Dean's face clouding over. It was so much fun for Sam and it motivated him to perform better. 

At times he saw glimpses of admiration come in Dean's face but it was soon replaced by a mask of resentment. Sam used up all of Dean's hate to his benefit and within the next two years, he could beat Dean in his own game.

He was almost at the verge of forgiving Dean for the things he'd done to him when the next incident happened made him to start hating his brother all the more.

He was 15 years old then . It was the time Sam and Chad had become extremely close with each other. Chad was a brilliant student and both him and Chad had a healthy competition when it came to maths. Sam always won, because he was a natural in the subject but Chad wasn't bad either. He was always a close second. What started as a rivalry with Chad soon culminated into a friendship. They started to exchange notes and did projects together. 

Sam started to realise that Chad could have feelings for him by the way he looked at him. They started to spend more time together alone doing projects together and Chad's topics steered more and more towards sex and girls. 

When it became too much to handle, Sam admitted to Chad that he thought that he might be into guys.  
Chad didn't look surprised. He simply replied, "And I think I might be into you." 

They looked into each other's eyes and Sam could sense that they had crossed their boundaries from being just friends into something more.

The next day, after school, Chad waited until everyone left, then grabbed Sam and kissed him against the cupboards in the back of the class. It was Sam's first kiss, it was sloppy but still very satisfying.

They started to make out wherever they could. Whether it was Sam's house, in the boy's bathrooms or in their chemistry lab, they made out without abandon. 

Sam hadn't wanted anyone to know about his sexuality. He needed more time to gather up courage to open up to John and Dean. 

But Dean somehow ferreted out his secret and he went on to leak it to his arch nemesis Mike. Sam didn't understand what possessed Dean to do that. He knew Dean was an useless brother to him but to go behind his back and tell others that he was gay? Sam was livid. He still chuckled at the way Dean cowered when he hit him with all the force and pent up fury he could muster. He decided that day that he'd not trust Dean anymore in his life. He was done forgiving him. 

And then he told him that he found he was gay by going through his stuff from his wardrobe. Sam sighed a breath of relief when he came to know that Dean had only discovered his stack of magazines that he kept in the box. Thank god, he still didn't find his most important thing that Sam got stashed away. The dildo that he bought from the dingy sex shop he visited with Chad. Sam couldn't think what he would have done if Dean found it. He felt mortified even thinking about it.

He only used it once and then he hid it on the floor of the wardrobe behind his undies section. He didn't enjoy it so much. May be he'll enjoy it in person than with a toy. He often thought about who his first would be. For a long time he thought it would be Chad since they were nearly there. But then his student exchange program came by and Sam had to make arrangements to leave Kansas for six months. 

"We'll continue from where we left off," assured Sam when he met Chad to tell him of the news. Chad was obviously not thrilled but he was supportive of Sam anyway. "It's fine, take care of yourself okay? And remember not to be naughty when you'd be alone during weekends. Remember I'd be waiting for you here, okay?" said Chad. Sam kissed him on the mouth and promised to behave.

But as fate would have it, it was Chad who could not keep his promise. Peter blurted it out on phone that Chad had had sex with him on a drunken night out and was now trying to avoid him. Peter had obviously fallen in love with Chad and he didn't know who to talk about it when he called Sam. 

It was the last month of his stay at the Mexican heritage school. Sam couldn't wait to go back and meet Chad. He was saving himself for Chad in spite of meeting cute boys in his school. And Peter's confession shook Sam to the core. Chad called him soon to explain the situation and beg his forgiveness but Sam's mind was made. He wasn't angry with Chad but he just couldn't be with him anymore. 

He felt broken and bruised when he returned to Kansas but soon things started to change. Of all the places he could find attraction, he found it in Dean.  


Sam was starting to develop a deep crush and it was none other than his step brother who he hated.


	8. Chapter 8

It started soon after he came back from Mexico. 

Those stares, those looks, those ogles. All when he thought Sam wasn't looking. 

Of course, Sam didn't take note of it immediately.  
He woke up on the first day to Dean staring at his half naked body. "What?" He had asked him. 

Dean looked away and tried to act normal but Sam could see, even in his half sleep, that he looked flustered. Why's he acting like this? He took a look at himself and understood what was causing Dean's discomfort. 

He was in just his boxers and nothing else.  
Boxers that have grown very tight owing to his sudden growth burst, and been made even tighter because of his morning wood.  
He got up and stretched, chuckling to have caused embarrasment to his brother on the first day of his return. He had hurried in to the bathroom and had thought nothing of it.

But after a few days, he started to see that it wasn't just embarrassment that caused Dean to act weird that morning. Dean started to act flustered even when Sam was fully clothed. It grew over time, but here they were, where Dean wouldn't sit next to him anymore, wouldn't touch him unless it was very necessary and who kept looking at him when he wasn't looking. 

Sam could not attribute the sudden change to attraction, it sounded too far fetched because of the fact that Dean was straight and also that he was his step brother.

His school midterm holidays started as soon as he returned from the student exchange program, so Sam spent all his free time at home, cooking, cleaning and working a bit in the shed.

And as days passed, Sam could almost swear that Dean was eyeing him. And one day, Sam decided to put his theory to test.  
It was a Sunday morning and Sam had just woken up from sleep. He could see Dean stirring up from his adjacent bed. That's when he thought of putting his idea to good use. 

He quickly removed his PJs and threw it at the foot of the bed. He pulled his shirt up revealing his smooth waist and lied down, pretending to be asleep. He was on his back with one arm thrown over his face so that Dean couldn't see him watching him from underneath.

Dean stirred from his sleep, got up to sit on the bed and almost immediately became aware of Sam. He sat there staring at his brother's half naked body for a whole minute. He looked him up and down swallowing hard and licking his lips. Dean was breathing hard and it was evident that he liked what he saw.

Sam found an exciting shiver run through his body. He must be sqicked at the thought of his step brother checking him out. But instead, he found himself immensely turned on by it. There was a hollow forming at the pit of his stomach and he found himself getting hard and grow bigger right under Dean's gaze. 

Dean's reaction was quite epic. He gaped at it and Sam could see him licking his lips and use his hand to smooth down his growing boner. That was everything that Sam needed to know. Yes, he was right. All his instincts for the past few days were true. There's certainly something going on with Dean. 

Sam stirred as if he was waking up from his sleep. And Dean abruptly got up and went inside the bathroom slamming the door behind him. 

That was just the beginning. It soon became a pastime for Sam to make Dean uncomfortable by doing something naughty in front of him and watch him go rigid and clammy.

Sam was supposed to be nurturing his broken heart after his break up with Chad but here he was playing games with his step brother. 

He genuinely enjoyed flirting with Dean whenever opportunity presented itself.  
Like that other day when they were watching a movie with John in the living room. 

Dean was sitting on the sofa while Sam joined by sitting on the chair opposite to Dean behind John.

There were bananas on the centre table and Sam picked one to eat. Halfway eating, Sam realized that Dean was surreptitiously watching him. 

Sam deliberately ate the rest of the banana slowly and as suggestively as possible, giving Dean nearly a heart attack. And after he finished, he gave an innocent look in Dean's direction to see how he was holding up. Dean looked justifiably shook, his mouth gaping and his breathing heavy. 

Sam knew the thing going between them both was wrong. But he was bored and wanted to see how far he could get away with tempting Dean. In a way, though he hated to admit it, he was enjoying it himself and as long it's going to be harmless, he didn't see anything wrong with it.

It had been two weeks since Sam came back. They were seated in front of the TV eating their cereal.  
John finally broke the monotony. "Sam, it's time you get back to your training under Dean." 

The talk jolted Sam to attention and he looked up at Dean who looked at him at the same time.  
Sam was thrilled at the prospect though a bit peeved that John thought that he still had something to learn from Dean. "Why? I'm perfectly in level with Dean. I don't think I'll need any more training, John."

Dean interrupted before John could answer. "Except when you were sitting on your ass in Mexico doing your homework, I was here training most days and I can still beat the shit out of you." 

They both stared at each other for a long second and then Sam relented. "Okay then. We'll start tomorrow, looks like Dean wouldn't rest until I beat his ass down."

Dean scoffed, "Yeah let's see who beats who's ass this time."

It was eleven the next morning. John had gone out and it was only Dean and Sam under the tree.  
Dean was in his wife beater, paired with his jeans that were torn at various places. At one point when he flexed his legs Sam could see a flash of his thigh through the threadbare material and his attention wavered for a second.

Dean didn't seem to take his eyes off Sam even for a moment. He was so focussed and as they began their warm up, he could easily throw Sam off him. Sam sensed that Dean had become stronger and more skilled in these past months. 

In the light of new events, he had to admit that he found it rather difficult to focus, given that Dean was all over him and his hands holding him in various places. All of a sudden, he felt awkward fighting him, which he had done all the time growing up. He kept looking at Dean trying to guage his reaction but Dean looked poker faced and he held himself well for a man who kept disrobing him for the past week with his eyes. 

After the first few attempts, Sam started to slowly get back his groove. He tried to think of all the mean things Dean has said to him and it helped bring back his fury. As they were into their 5th round, they both were profusely sweating and out of breath.

Sam felt he was burning up, so he removed his thin white, v-necked t-shirt and threw it into the sand nearby. His body was slick with sweat but at least the air cooled him down a bit. He saw Dean losing focus for a second as his eyes quickly roamed around Sam's body before returning to his face. 

"C'mon," urged Sam as he called to Dean with his fingers. Dean grunted and closed in to tackle him but his hands slipped on Sam's slick body and fell on top of Sam on the ground. Sam closed his eyes as his face hit the dirt on the ground. He tried to maneuver himself upright but Dean's body on him was heavy and he felt trapped.

A moment of struggle quickly became a moment of stillness as he felt Dean's hot breath on his neck. "What was Dean doing?" He froze as he felt Dean's face so close to his neck as if he was sniffing him.  
He became aware of Dean's groin on his butt crack and he went rigid with the sudden thrill running through his body. His breath became laboured as he found himself become hotter and harder. 

"So this is where you been all these days? huh?" 

He was startled to a female voice above him as he looked up and quickly shielded his face against the sun.  
He could sense Dean wrangling himself up off his back and say, "Hey Jo, how you been?"

Sam slowly sat up and looked at the stranger Dean was talking to. She was pretty and petite with brown blonde hair and hazel eyes..

"You know, my home phone is in perfect working condition and so is my cellphone."

"I know Jo, I'm so sorry, I was so caught up with work for the past week and with Sam's return," as he pointed at Sam, "it's been crazy."

"Don't transfer the blame on him," teased Jo as she put her hand in front of Sam, "Hi, I'm Jo. I'm sure Dean would have told about me. It's finally great to meet you." 

Sam didn't reply but still looked at Dean confused.

Jo looked bristled. "You mean you didn't tell him about me?" she screeched. "Dean, you are the worst person in the world."

Dean looked sheepish as he gingerly began the introduction. "Sam, Meet Jo, Ellen's daughter and my best friend of late. And Jo, this is Sam."

Jo gave an exasperated look as she put her hand in front once again. Sam held on to it to hoist himself up from the ground. He then shook on it. "Hi Jo, it's so good to meet you."

"It's nice to meet you too after I've heard so much about you from him day in and day out." Jo fake rolled her eyes.

"Really? I'm surprised that he spoke about me at all. Going by what I know of him, I don't expect what you heard about me was any good." Sam lifted an eyebrow and looked from Jo to Dean. 

He could see that Dean was getting uncomfortable as Jo continued, "Far from that. He always kept talking about how you were strong and good at fights and how he gave you a tough time while you grew up and you still managed to grow up fine," she cast a mischievous look at Dean and Sam could imagine how embarrassed Dean must be feeling now.

"That can't be true," he said turning towards Dean. "You told her that you were mean to me growing up? And that I'm good at something? Has hell frozen over or something?" 

"It's becoming very hot in here, can we go inside for a drink?" Dean tried to steer the topic away as he took Jo by her shoulders and started to walk towards the house. Sam had no option but to follow them inside. He ran towards his muddy t-shirt, picked it up as he jogged behind them.

Once they were inside, Sam went for a quick shower as Dean went to mix cool drinks for them to drink. Sam could hear them talking in the hall while he shut the door and took the quickest shower. He didn't want to miss any of the interaction that was going on between Dean and Jo. The way Jo sounded, they very much could be a couple.  
If she was indeed his girlfriend, it meant that Dean hasn't changed at all and he's still very much the hetero guy that Sam had known. 

So what about the sparks and other stuff that's been going on between them for the past two weeks? Were those things all in Sam's head? Was he imagining it all? 

Sam showered and dressed on auto pilot and still was in deep thoughts when he came out to the living room where Dean and Jo sat drinking their orange juice. 

He took his glass filled with the drink from the table and sat down opposite to them, sipping it thoughtfully. The TV was on and he absently started to watch the black and white romance movie running on it. 

"So," said Jo, bringing Sam out of his contemplation. "You're really pretty, Sam. Look at your beautiful long tresses and pink lips and the rosy cheeks. You radiate such beauty, you literally would be every girl's envy."

Sam looked uncertainly at Dean for a moment but Dean silently shook his head and shrugged his shoulders implying that he didn't know what she was talking about.

Sam looked back at her, chuckled and said, "Well, thanks I guess."

"No really, how did you maintain such long, beautiful hair? You're going to be such a hit with my girl friends. We should all meet one day," she sounded excited as she turned to Dean. "When are you bringing him to the bar, Dean? It'd be great for him to meet new friends. And also, we can carry on from where we left off, don't you think?" she asked Dean expectantly.

Sam interrupted before Dean could answer her. "Umm, I'm actually not a very social person. I might be awkward with people around. I think you both should go without me."

Jo pouted just for a moment before she came by to sit next to Sam. "Sam, you are a total hottie and it's time you start giving this social circle a whirl. I'll introduce you to my friends and in no time, you'd become a ladies man like your big brother here. She smirked looking at Dean and continued, "But you know what? He isn't much of a ladies man now. Looks like your brother is quite tamed since he found me. May be you should now take his place."

"Umm, Jo!" Dean's voice trilled and Jo got up. "Well, I need to run some errands now and I'll meet you soon, Sam. Hope we'll meet up at the bar at the earliest. Bye." She took her keys and left before reaching to Dean for a hug and a quick kiss on the lips. 

Dean looked at Sam while she kissed him and Sam quickly averted his eyes. 

"Bye boys! See ya soon!" She left through the door, shutting it behind her and Dean plopped on the sofa like he was exhausted. "Umm... Sorry for that. She isn't like this at all, I don't know what came over her today."

"May be, Me?" asked Sam lifting an eyebrow at Dean. I'm the only anomaly here between you two. May be she doesn't like me."

"No..no.. that's not it. She wouldn't have invited you if she didn't like you. I guess she was just tired and overworked. She does the most hunting when she's with her mom." 

"Hmm. Okay, but you got yourself a girlfriend while you were admonishing me for having a boyfriend in Mexico?"

Dean sighed, "I'm sorry, I was wrong. Don't know what I was thinking. You can have a boyfriend. I have no authority to tell you what to do."

Sam eyed Dean before he said in a small voice, "Well, nevermind. I and Chad split up. Apparently he had an affair with Peter while I was gone. So I broke it off with him. We're no more together." 

For a moment it looked like Dean's face lit up but he soon managed it with a scoff and said, "Chad did that? I can't believe it. I believed he was a nice boy and the way he looked at you, I thought he was full of love for you."

Sam sighed, "Apparently you can't go by how a person looks at another anymore. I'm starting to think that eyes can lie," he looked into Dean's eyes before he got up and take the empty glasses with him to the kitchen. "And I think there's a silver lining. Now I can date as many different guys as I want instead of being stuck with one," he said as he shot a glance at Dean over his shoulder.

Dean didn't reply and as Sam was washing the glasses in the sink, he saw that Dean was deep in thought as he sat there staring at the TV. 

\--------------------------------------+++++-------------------------------------


	9. Chapter 9

The shrill note of the phone startles Sam from his daydream as he jumps from the couch to go to the wall to take the receiver from its holder. 

"Yeah!" He squawks in to the phone, out of breath.

It's John on the other end and Sam visibly exhales in relief. He didn't know who else he expected to call, but the sudden interference to his thoughts jarred him out of his reverie.

John's voice crackled on the other end. "Sam, where's Dean? I'll be home in about half an hour. I've got some exciting news to say to you both." John cuts the call abruptly and Sam looks thoughtful for a moment wondering what would be the exciting news that John was talking about. 

His eyes hit the clock on the wall and he swears under his breath as he hurries to the kitchen to make lunch.

\--------------------------

"Dean!" John's voice comes booming over and Dean stirs out of his nap. He realises that the movie is over and Sam is gone. 

He sits up lazily on the couch and turns to look, just in time for John to enter through the door. Sam is cleaning in the kitchen and he's put something to simmer on the stove, the smell of which permeates the air.

"Umm, "something smells very nice," John exclaims as he takes his jacket and plops on his chair. "What is it?"

"Chicken and vegetable stew," says Sam without taking his eyes of the sink. He finishes washing the last of the plate and comes to sit on the couch.

Dean is still in his half sleepy state but he can palpitate John's excitement, so he rubs his face to send some blood up to his face to spur himself to attention. 

Dean and Sam sit side by side watching John as John looks from Sam to Dean, his voice an excited whisper, "Know what? Bobby found a lead to the yellow eyed demon." He says triumphantly.  
"Yes my boys, we are finally going to meet our arch nemesis and put him out of business." 

Sam and Dean look at each other in unison and then turn to look back at John in disbelief. It's a lead they've been chasing most of their lives and here they are finally going to meet their common enemy.

\-------------------

They set out at dawn the next morning.  
According to Bobby, there is a man living in a farm house outside the city. Rumour has it that yellow eyes has possessed him sometime back and there's been a lot of traffic of demons to and from the farmhouse. There's recently been some mysterious deaths around the area which John was actively chasing and it was by accident that they stumbled over this lead. 

John is driving and Sam and Dean are sitting in the back seat of the impala while the passenger seat next to John is filled with all sorts of materials necessary for the hunt. And the most important element of all, the Colt, is sleeping safely inside the glove compartment.

Sam looks serene, looking at the fast moving scenery outside his window, but his mind is racing.

It's true that he was chasing the yellow eyed demon most of his life, but now that it's become a possibility, he finds his determination waver a little. He isn't so sure if it is wise to continue to hunt an entity as powerful as the yellow eyed demon, knowing what devastation it could cause if their hunt went wrong.

Sam's at the prime of his teenage and has just started to enjoy life. He knows the dangers involved in this sort of thing and for the first time, he is afraid for the lives of John and even Dean. 

Dean has become as important as John to him in these past weeks as he's surprised to see himself getting gravitated towards him more and more. He can't afford to lose him or afford to see him suffer in anyway.

It's almost an hour later when John pulls into a farm land lined on either sides with corn fields. Their car finds a nook in the midst of the thick growth and a sudden silence comes alive as John kills the cars ignition. It's around 8 o clock in the morning but they can still hear the loud ringing of crickets around them.

There was a momentary silence in the car as no one speaks. Finally, John gets out from his side and comes to the other side to collect the salt guns and the Colt. Dean leaps out of his side and goes to help him, his expression quite intense, his mind clouded in different thoughts. Like Sam, he doesn't think it's a great idea to go behind the yellow eyed demon. The calamities it has caused in his home and Sam's home is testimony to what the demon is capable of doing. Going for its jugular right now is like stirring a sleeping lion. He cannot afford to lose one more person from his life. His eyes automatically go to Sam as he laments, and just looking at him, looking at his innocent, beautiful face brings emotions in him that he decides to not let anything happen to him. But as he has always been, Dean swallows down his thoughts and mutely assists John in preparing for the escapade.

After they've loaded up, John calls Bobby from his phone. Bobby picks up within a single ring that must have been close by because Sam is able to hear a faint ring go off in the vicinity. John says a quick, "let's go," and Sam hears a faint opening and closing of a car door and off they depart, leaving Sam behind.

"Wait," calls Sam, running behind them. John and Dean stop and look back at him a questioningly.  
"Uh, can I come too?" he asks, though he knew what the plan was. John didn't want Sam to enter the farmhouse. Instead, he wanted him to stand guard in the car.

"Sam, we already discussed this. I don't think it's safe for you to come. This is your first time and I don't want it to be this dangerous," reiterates John patiently.

"If it's dangerous, how is it alright for Dean to go then? Or you? It's it alright if something happened to you both?" Sam asks John, his new found interest in Dean giving him the ammunition necessary for his defiance. 

Dean looks from Sam to John and then back at him again. "Look Sam, dad has all the experience he needs to handle such a situation and since I've been going out for hunts regularly, I'd be able to assist him well. We would take you too once you gain some working knowledge but it won't be this time."

John puts on a more stern expression as he joins Dean, "Look Sam, we are getting late and every minute we lose now might make this more dangerous, so why don't we go as per plan? Besides, we need some person to man the car. We'll talk about this once we are back, I promise. Now get in the car and stay put. Keep a close vigil on the house so that you would be ready to start the car even we come back dashing, okay?" He takes Dean by his shoulder and starts to walk to the farm house whose top story is visible from a distance.

Sam sighs and gets back behind the wheel. Now all he can do is to sit tight and wait for them to come back. He checks his salt gun and the secret weapon he smuggled in to the car without John knowing about it. He knows it would be of no use next to a gun or a rifle but it's better than nothing. The steel glints in the refracted sunlight as he takes it out from under the back seat. The sharp edge of the dagger gives him a sense of safety as he quickly slides it into its sheath and returns it back to its hidden place under the seat. He straightens up and leans his head against the top of the seat as he starts his watch on the partially hidden farm house. 

It must have been a few hours and Sam must have dozed off. He stiffens to attention as he hears gun shots coming from somewhere and he quickly traces the noises to the house. Involuntarily, he gets out of the car carrying his salt gun pointing it in the direction of the house.

As he is holding up the gun at chest level, breathing hard, bracing himself, he can see a few human figures getting out of the house.  
They start running towards the direction of the car and he soon realises that they are indeed John, Bobby and Dean. He knows what to do now, he has to get inside the car and start the car so that they'd jump in while he keeps driving. 

But something else catches his attention as he's just about to turn the ignition. He notices another figure running behind Dean from the house. A fourth person.

He takes a few strides in front on the long grass and squints his eyes to focus. He could see the person looked like he was chasing Dean and is gaining in on him, carrying a meat cleaver in his hand. Sam freezes for a second and the next moment he propels himself to action. 

He jumps in the car and retrieves the dagger from under the back seat and his salt gun. He isn't sure if the person is human or a demon and he doesn't want to risk it. He holds one weapon in each hand as he starts to run towards them as fast as he could. 

John sees him running towards them and yells at him to get back and start the car. Sam yells back at him to get the car started as he has a business to take care. He runs past a stunned John and Bobby and as he reaches Dean, he tells him to make it to the car as he gets between him and the oncoming figure. Dean stops in his tracks not having a clue to what's happening. 

The person chasing Dean slows down as he takes stock of the new intruder. Sam swirls the dagger with his free hand as he cocks the gun to keep it aimed at the person. 

As Sam is just a few feet away from the person, he's able to see that the person's eyes have turned all black and now menacingly focused on Sam. It's not the yellow eyed demon but it's a demon for sure.

"Sam, what are you doing?" Dean yells and tries to drag him away.

"He's coming to attack you, Dean," Sam yells back but he doesn't take his eyes off the demon. "C'mon, what are you waiting for?" he asks the demon.

The demon charges in front and before Dean could stop him, Sam lunges in front taking the demon by surprise. He slashes the demon on the face as he throws him off on the ground. The demon shrieks and falls on the ground, his meat cleaver going clattering into the thick grass. But the demon does get back up with alarming speed and before Sam could pull the trigger on the gun, he throws Sam off with brutal force. Dean who was holding Sam falls down along with him and John who had come to their rescue gets toppled over in the melee.

The demon is on Sam in an instant and he grabs Sam's dagger out of his hand. Dean scrambles up to wrench it out of his hand but the demon turns out to be much stronger than he thought. It throws of Dean easily with just one hand as he gets poised to stab him as he lifts his hand high up in the air. Dean lands on his back supported on his elbows and looks up at the incoming onslaught, his eyes wide with terror.

"Argggh," there's a wild grunt coming from Sam's direction as in the next moment, the demon gets pushed off while still holding the dagger, his arms flailing as he falls off to the ground with a thud, and Sam is on top of him. Sam punches the demon a few times in the face and as he raises his hand to punch him again, the demon slashes Sam's arm with the dagger that he was still holding. 

Blood starts to spurt out of Sam's arm as he still doesn't stop punching the demon. The dagger goes clattering to the ground as the demon fights to push Sam from top of him. 

Just then the strong whirring of a car's engine could be heard followed by Bobby's war cry. "Sam, move away, move away right NOW."

Sam's head is spinning and he can hardly see with the blood from his hand smeared all over eyes but he has the presence of mind to listen when he has to. He gets up in time for Dean to pull him away from the demon. 

As the demon staggers to a stand up position, he sees the oncoming figure of the car a tad late. The car doesn't stop even after hitting him full force. It carries the body to a distance until it stops moving. As it finally comes to a stop, John along with Dean rush to the front to see the carnage caused.

The demon is unconscious, lying in a pool of blood in front of the car. Dean tries to hurry over to his side but John stops him and gestures for him to stay behind. Then he cautiously approaches the unmoving body, utters a few verses from the bible, takes out his silver dagger and drives it through it's heart. 

\-----------------------------

Dean has been driving like a mad man not releasing his foot from the gas pedal. They had to shift Sam to the impala to drive to a local doctor they knew. The doctor was a friend of Bobby who asked no questions. He patched up people who were injured during hunts from time to time. 

The hospital was an hour away from the farm fields. And Sam was losing a lot of blood. He was getting in and out of consciousness and Dean sprung to the drivers seat the moment he saw Sam's condition.

"Drive a bit slow, Dean. We don't all have to get admitted in the hospital, you know," says Bobby who had discarded the car in a thicket to retrieve it later. Right now he was traveling with them to the hospital. They had bandaged Sam's hand with Dean's shirt to control the blood flow but Sam is still bleeding profusely. The cut in itself wasn't too deep and no arteries were damaged as far as they could see, but it's better get treated by the doctor, just at in case. 

They reach the hospital in under 40 mins thanks to Dean's driving at the wheel. The hospital turns out to be a small dispensary that looks run down. When they take Sam inside, he's semi- conscious and they half carry him, half walk him in. 

The doctor was a mousy looking man with salt and pepper hair and beard. He is wearing a doctor's coat and was specifically waiting for them since he was informed of their arrival.

"Bring him straight in," he spoke to no one in particular as he went in his cubicle to get the necessary things to patch up the wound.

John and Dean carry Sam in and Sam sits on the chair in the doctors cubicle where his vitals are taken.

"His blood pressure is a bit low owing to the heavy loss of blood but otherwise I don't see much damage," says the doctor examining Sam's hand. The cut runs for four inches on the underside of Sam's arm just beneath his elbow. "The cut isn't that deep but he'll need stitches," says the doctor matter of factly as he opens his cupboard to get the medical supplies. 

"I'll give you a local anaesthetic to numb the pain," he says as he administers the anaesthetic to the area just around the edges of the open wound. He then goes on to suture the gaping wound. 

Sam sits there stone faced showing no emotions but he feels very tired in his mind and body. He just wants to go to sleep and doesn't want to wake up for a week. 

\--------------------------

They come home and Sam goes to sleep almost immediately as his head hits the pillow. 

The doctor had given enough painkillers to last the week and asked them to contact him if there was any complication. Dean stores all the prescribed medicines by the bedside table as he stretches his tired muscles. He's feeling exhausted by the day's events and he can't imagine what Sam's been going through.

The hunt was partially successful. They located the yellow eyed demon and after killing most of the other demons hiding in the farm house, they had almost got him. But he was tricky enough to leave the body before they could trap him. They managed to set fire to the farm house and ran outside but they hadn't noticed the demon that was hiding in the cellar. Honestly, Dean wouldn't have looked behind if it was not for Sam. Sam saved his life and Dean is immensely proud of him. But he can't forgive himself for the way Sam got hurt by the demon trying to save him. Thank god it's only a flesh wound. 

Dean removes his jacket and throws it over the table before jumping on to his bed next to Sam. John comes to check in on them but Dean assures him that he'll keep an eye on Sam through the night.

He sleeps fitfully as he is disturbed by haunting dreams that end badly. The meat-cleaver demon almost got Sam in his dreams. And everytime Dean wakes up, he looks over at Sam and checks his pulse and breathing before falling back into a troubled sleep. Just the thought of losing Sam seems to bring in fear in Dean's mind. He can't seem to find the exact time he started to care for his pain-in-ass step-brother, but he thinks that he'd be devastated if something were to happen to him.

\----------------------

As it turns out, Sam's wound gets infected and he develops a high fever with chills for the next 3 days. 

Dean doesn't leave his side so much as a minute, as he slaves over him and takes care of Sam's every need. So much so that it finally gets John's attention.

"Who'd have thought?" He said aloud, seeing the way Dean was feeding him soup on the second day. Sam was semi-conscious as he drank a little soup and passed out immediately after. The doctor came in twice to give him antibiotic shots amidst giving instructions to take care of Sam. Dean listened to him intently and took it upon himself to nurse and feed Sam. And he's been giving him cold sponge baths from time to time to get the fever down. 

John is relieved to see the new found fondness between Sam and Dean though he's a little flabbergasted as to what brought this on. But he keeps his thoughts to himself other than voicing it to Bobby when he comes to visit. 

"Why do you care? So long they don't fight and take care of each other, you don't have to worry. Besides, now you can spend more time with me on hunts," says Bobby. John nods silently as he agrees with him. He can finally spend more time away from home as the boys can take care of each other. 

"Yes, It's a good thing," he decides. "Anything is better than the way they were before," he states, not aware that his sons are actually falling in love with each other.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------


	10. Chapter 10

Sam's been in and out of consciousness. He sees bits and pieces of mostly Dean, either feeding him or sponging off his forehead. 

He wants to tell him not to leave him and wants to hold on to his hand, because, God, his hands on him feel so reassuring. But he hardly has the energy to speak and he's disturbed by the dreams that fester his mind when he sleeps.

.….In one of his dreams, he sees himself in the corn fields welding his dagger and being in a fight with the meat-cleaver demon but, at the last minute, the demon picks a gun from his jacket pocket and shoots at him. It feels so lucid that he wakes up screaming and Dean and John come over to pat him to make him go back to sleep.

…..He opens his eyes another day to see the doctor, who he had briefly met at the clinic, remove his bandages and tell everyone that the wound was healing. He gives Sam a shot of whatever drug he was giving and Sam falls into another comfortable, long sleep. 

……It's another night and Sam's in deep sleep.  
He wakes up dazed to the feeling of something stirring in his pants.… Something sweet and arousing.  
He cranes his neck to see what's it is but his head feels too heavy and groggy. He finally lifts himself up enough on his elbows and takes a peek at himself. 

..…The street light from the open window permeates the room and Sam could only see half clearly.  
He squints his eyes and….

…..There's Dean, lying in between his legs. 

.….He's on his elbows and his hands are busy in Sam's groin, stroking him, playing him. 

..…Sam inhales sharply and manages, "Dean, is…. is that you?"

…..Dean looks up surprised at being caught and a slow smirk crosses his handsome face. But instead of stopping whatever he is doing, he proceeds to open Sam's PJ's and takes out his cock. 

.….Sam can anticipate what's coming next and he moans and begs, "Dean, Please don't," exactly when Dean deliberately dips his head and takes his cock in his mouth. Sam throws his head back and cries in sweet pleasure as Dean starts to lick his head and starts to blow him. 

…..He sucks him noisily, the sound clamorous in the room against the pin drop silence and Sam could only whimper and moan even though his brain screams that John might walk in on them any minute.

.….He wants to tell Dean to stop, cease him from doing whatever he is doing and put an end to all this exquisite torture but Sam just can't get himself to do any of that. He wants this moment to go on, extend indefinitely and carry on forever without an end. 

..…And the next instance, in spite of trying so hard, Sam comes violently in Dean's mouth, with streams of cum spurting out, Dean's mouth drinking all of it, licking clean off him. Sam screams in the pleasure of it all as he sinks down and muffles his cries in to the pillow behind him. 

Sam opens his eyes abruptly and sits up, wondering where he is. He's feeling utterly disoriented and not sure what just happened. For a long moment, he breathes hard until his eyes adjust to the darkness around him and the surroundings become familiar. 

He's in his room, on his bed. The windows are closed and the curtains are drawn shut. He hurriedly looks for Dean but there's no one there except the blankets, which are drawn up until his waist and tucked in well. 

However, there's that familiar stickiness in his nether region that tells him that he just had a wet dream; a very hot one and Dean had featured in it. Sam doesn't know what to think of that. He has had wet dreams in the past, but none so real and lucid; and not to mention, scorching hot.

Sam can't decide whether he's relieved that it was just a dream or sad that it's just that. He exhales slowly as he brings his hands over his face to rub off the sleep from his eyes. The exertion reminds him of the dull pain in his left arm where the demon had cut him. He lifts his hand to inspect it but he can hardly see anything in the darkness of the room. 

He throws the blanket off him and tries to get down from the bed. He's cautious, although after the initial few disoriented moments, he feels his strength has returned in his legs.

He reaches to the window and opens the curtains and immediately, bright light pours in. Sam feels initially blinded, though he adjusts to it by blinking a few times. He looks at the clock on the wall and it's a quarter to 12.

He's ravenously hungry and as soon as he thinks of food, his stomach growls, letting him know that he's been famished. The next moment he walks to door, opens it and steps outside into the hall.

\--------------------------------

He finds John in the kitchen preparing lunch. And as soon as he spots Sam, John comes to him briskly. "Sam, are you feeling alright? How'z your hand?" He looks happy, seeing Sam in good spirits.

"Yeah, I'm much better," Sam says calmly. "And the hand's alright too. John, which day is it? How many days since…" he lets the words trail.

"It's been ten days, Sam. It's June, the 20th."

"What? I was sick this whole time? I'm.. I'm so sorry to have caused this much discomfort to you all."

"Don't mention it. Besides, while I was taking care of the cooking and other things, it was mostly Dean who took care of you. You might have to thank him, Sam. I was so worried. But I'm so glad you're okay now."

At the mention of Dean's name, Sam feels his face flush. He hopes John doesn't notice it, so he changes the subject. "So where's Dean?"

"He's out at the garage. In a way he was blaming himself for what happened to you. He didn't speak to us much, these past days. May be seeing you like this will make him feel better." 

Sam doesn't wait for another word as he flies off to the garage to meet Dean. 

\-------------------------------

Dean is bent under the hood of a car, with only his lower part of the body visible from Sam's angle. Sam cannot stop staring at his strong hips and legs and the glimpses of his powerful arms that comes into view now and then. Sam's heart starts to beat faster as he walks down to the car. As he moves closer, he can see that Dean's been brooding over something with a scowl on his face.

When he sees Sam, Dean's face lights up, but only for a moment and then it's gone. "Hey there, how are you feeling?" he asks, closing the lid of the car.

"Umm..I'm feeling great. My hand isn't even paining much. I actually feel fantastic." 

"That's great," muses Dean as his eyes sweep over Sam's body. "You've lost some weight. Gotta eat well now and rest yourself."

"Nah, I've rested enough. I was thinking about the bar you were talking about that other day. May be you can take me there in the evening. I'd like to unwind myself surrounded by some noise and booze.".

Dean scowls at that as he looks up at Sam and adds, "You know that you're underage for drinking right?"

"I said I want to be surrounded by drinks and drinkers. Didn't say I want to get drunk. By the way, how do you all drink? Aren't you and your friends still underage for drinking?"

"We don't drink." says Dean chuckling. "Actually we do. But not in the bar. Mostly in our cars. Ash's brother gets us drinks. You know what?" Dean squints his eyes and carries in a conspiratorial whisper. "You can join us too. It'd be fun. And we do have our fake IDs when we visit bars in the outskirts where they don't know us. Ash can make one for you too."

Sam can almost feel his excitement as Dean continues to explain how his friends and him enjoy themselves everytime. The excitement catches on Sam too and for the first time in a long while, Sam feels eager to visit places with Dean.

"Hey, and thanks for taking care of me while I was sick," Sam adds a bit seriously, changing the mood of the conversation abruptly. 

Dean shakes his head. "I should thank you for daring to fight the demon to save my life." He quickly shifts the topic to sound upbeat. "At least you're not a complete waste of space anymore."

Sam smiles. "Is that what you thought I was, until now?" They both lock eyes for a moment and Sam sees a spark in Dean's eyes but it's gone the next moment. 

"Okay, get going now, I've got to finish this," he says opening the lid of the car again. "You must be hungry. Go grab a bite. I'll join you both in a few minutes," he says as he gets back to fine tuning the car.

\---------------------------------

SAM is ravenous during lunch. He devours the meatballs and keeps complimenting through out. Dean joins them a bit late and they settle down to watch a star wars movie, on their couch in front of their TV. 

When they finish, John gets up and collects his keys from the table top and announces that he needs to go out. Then he stops as if he just remembered and asks Dean, "Didn't you say you are going to take Sam with you in the evening? Take good care of him…" he stops and corrects himself, "Of course, you would. "Well, you both take care of each other and strictly no drinking, okay?" 

"Sure, dad," replies Dean.

"I'd go, get changed then," says Sam, getting up. Have to take a long shower. It's been ages."

"Are you sure you can manage with that hand?" asks John with concern. "Or do you need Dean to help you to bathe?"

Sam doesn't expect that and suddenly he loses all control. He blushes furiously as he could feel his cheeks getting hotter. In a bid to cover that, he lashes out, "Why you say that? I don't need Dean to help me in everything. I can manage very well by myself, okay?" 

John looks startled for a second taking in Sam's anger and a moment later he says softly. "Didn't intend to make you feel inadequate Sam, I thought you'd like some help. After all, it was Dean who gave you all those sponge baths while you were sleeping, so I thought he can help you with your bath until you hand becomes fully alright."

Sam's ears turn red at that and words fail him. He knows he needs to say something fast or appear sitting there like a fool blushing in front of his father. As his mind churns, he does the best he could do for the moment by getting up and leaving in a huff. He walks past without looking back, swiftly getting inside his bathroom and shutting the door. 

Dean and John look behind him, John heaving a sigh. "I should realise that he's not a kid anymore, the way his hormones are acting up right now." John turns towards Dean. "I'm very proud of what you did for him when he was sick, Dean. I'm sure he appreciates it too. He just doesn't know how to express his feelings," he says moving towards the door. "I'll take leave now, remember what I said. Keep an eye on him for me." John closes the door behind him leaving Dean still sitting on the couch.

\---------------------------------------

Sam flushes the toilet. He's feeling a lot better that he's eaten and refreshed himself. Now for that long shower he's been waiting for.

He gets inside the bathtub and closes the shower curtain around him before opening the shower and letting the sharp needles of water hit his body. He props his injured hand on the wall opposite him so that he can lather the soap with the other. As he's spreading the lather over his stomach, his mind jumps to what John said and he relishes the thought of Dean's hands on him when he sponged him off. 

He imagines Dean opening his shirt buttons, removing his shirt off and take the wet sponge to wipe his neck, back, stomach and then moving a little below….

He starts to breathe heavy as his hand involuntarily moves to his groin and cups his semi-hard cock. He lets out a whimper as he starts to massage himself thinking of Dean. He's never done this before though the thought had occurred. He's chastised himself whenever those thoughts crossed his mind.

But now, fueled by the wet dream and the knowledge of knowing that Dean touched his body when he was unconscious, he's unable to control himself and his mind travels to a parallel world where nothing mattered anymore. For the moment, he doesn't care that Dean is his half-brother or that it's wrong to fantasise about him. 

All that matters to him is the way his body feels when he thinks about Dean. It feels fucking fantastic.

His hand pumps faster and faster and he's almost there, close to his orgasm when the door blasts open and Dean enters the bathroom. 

Sam freezes for a moment, not knowing what to do. He catches his breath sharply and stands still, his hand still holding his throbbing cock.

He knows it is Dean cuz, he simply does. By now he knows how Dean moves and even breathes and he's definite it is him. But in all these years of co-existing with each other, they have never barged in on each other, ever. This is a first. And what's Dean doing here now? Doesn't he know Sam's in the shower? 

The next moment he hears the tap opening in the sink and water rushing down. And then he hears Dean washing his face by the sloshing sounds he makes. 

Sam starts to breathe again, exhaling slowly as his hand starts to move again, pumping himself, albeit lazily. He enjoys this feeling, of Dean being right next to him while he's totally naked and only a thin sheath of curtain separating them. 

If Dean knows he's inside the bathtub, he doesn't show it but just goes about his business. 

And Sam continues to shag while holding himself against the wall with his injured hand. His breathing is getting heavy and he doesn't bother to hide it. A moan escapes his lips as he's nearing the end and he can swear that Dean stiffens and stops his activity to listen but right at that moment, Sam is past caring. 

The next instant he's overcome with a massive orgasm that shatters him, makes him convolute without his control, the rolls of passion hitting him over again and again until he's finally spent and shaking against the wall. He's not aware of any sounds he made during it, but he can hear the absolute silence that's coming from outside, making him wonder if Dean had left.

But then, a moment later, the activity resumes and once again he hears the sloshing of water until it stops and Dean leaves the bathroom, slamming the door behind him.

\---------------------------------

They don't talk about it after that. When Sam emerges from the bedroom changed to jeans and a tight V-necked t-shirt, he sees Dean sitting on the couch watching TV. He doesn't look in his direction like he usually does, just intently watching the TV screen.

Sam wears his shoes and stands undecided next to Dean when Dean straightens up, and walks towards the door. Sam follows him and they get out after locking the door. 

They reach Ash's house by a ten minute walk and take his car to reach the bar.

Sam doesn't know what to expect, so he keeps close to Dean following him like a puppy. The bar is partly filled with smoke and it seems to be half crowded with most of the seats taken. Dean goes straight to the bartender and places an order for two cokes, takes them and directs Sam to a table at the far end.

Sam sees a table at the corner, with pretty girls sitting and sipping drinks. One of them stands up and Sam recognises her to be Jo. She's mostly unrecognisable because of her clothes and make up and Sam is impressed. She looks beautiful in a short top and mini skirt and boots with her hair held in a ponytail and eyes plied with mascara. She looks sexy enough and a pang rises in Sam's stomach that he tries hard to swallow down. 

Dean goes to her and takes her by her waist and she immediately presses her lips to his. Sam tries to look away but he can't. It's like his mind wants to punish him and he stares at them kissing, taking in the way Dean holds her hip and the way she presses her whole body against the length of his. Sam finally looks away, his cheeks becoming hot. 

"Hey Sam, there you are. I see you finally took up on my offer," chirps Jo as she takes him by hand to the table to be introduced to the group of girls present.  
There are three other girls and all of them look cute and sexy in their short dresses and full blown makeup.

Sam looks to Dean, an uncomfortable look on his face and noticing him, Dean comes and stands by him. 

"These are my friends. This is Daisy, this is Nyla and this is Rose," says Jo. She turns to the girls and announces, "This is the boy I was talking about. Meet Sam, Dean's only brother," she finishes saying and looks at Sam proudly. 

Sam raises his hand and says hi and the girls giggle and shake his hands. They immediately mumble something to each other looking at him and Sam looks to Dean for support. 

"Don't worry, they're just saying how cute you look. Seriously, Dean, what did your father do to get awesome women to mother his children. You both look like ramp walk models," taunts Jo. The other girls join her and they laugh. "I guess he just got lucky," Dean smirks and Sam joins in the laugh too.

Soon they're talking about various things and a little while later, Jo gets up and takes Dean's hand and walks away. Sam tries to follow them with his eyes to see where they're going but the bar had gotten crowded by then and he loses them into the crowd. He finally turns his attention to the table and gets immediately flanked by Nyla. She seemed the most interested in him of the three. 

"So Sam, how many years are you going to be in school?" Nyla asks batting her eyes. "Sam is tempted to get up and walk away but he opted to come and it wouldn't be the right thing to do. After all, they're Dean's friends. So he tries to be nice and reply her.

"Two more years," he says. "And after that, I'm planning to apply to Stanford university for science, so let's see how it goes."

"Ooh, a brawn with a brain, that's a great combination," says Nyla coming to sit on his side of the table. As she sits, she places her hand on Sam's thigh and squeezes. Sam swallows, looking like a deer caught in a headlight. He desperately looks for Dean, but he can't spot him in the crowd. The music in the bar has gotten louder and he can hardly hear her above the din of the noise. "I'm seventeen, were both minors, so it's okay," she says as she winks at him. Sam chuckles nervously, shrugging his shoulders. 

The other two girls get up and go to play pool with a couple of boys already at the table and he's left alone with Nyla.  
"Uhm, can you excuse me, I have to use the restroom?" he says as he gets up and walks around the table quickly to go and find the restroom. 

"Come quick okay? Or I'll finish your coke myself," she raises his glass and licks it suggestively. "Okay, I will," Sam fakes a smile as he stumbles around to find his way in the semi darkened room.

He's got to accept that Nyla is a stunner. With Auburn hair and baby blue eyes, she could eat a straight guy for breakfast, lunch and dinner. But Sam isn't straight. He hasn't been one, for as long as he could remember. Girls are beautiful, yes. But he can't react to them anymore than that. If she presses any further, he might have to reveal his sexuality. He needs to find Dean now or he's toast. 

He looks around until he finds the sign to the restroom and reaches it only to stop and stare. 

Near the entrance, behind the wall where there are hardly any people around, Jo is being flanked by Dean against the wall, his hands travelling up on her body without abandon as he is kissing her deep. Jo is shaking and weightless against him, holding on to him for support while kissing him and moaning against his lips. 

Sam stands there and stares at them for almost a full minute, having a full replay of events that happened in his third grade when he saw his crush Brandon kissing Suzanne. He feels the same sinking feeling in his belly and a ball of sorrow rises in his throat. He fights hard to swallow the pang of jealousy that erupts as he swirls on his feet and returns back to his table with Nyla.

After listening to Sam narrate about school and his recent trip to Mexico, Nyla offers her two bits and then gets closer to sit right next to him.

"So, where were we?" she asks seductively as she presses closer to him, letting her hand travel up further on his thigh. Sam is starting to sweat bullets and considers getting up to leave when suddenly, Dean appears at the table. "Sam, you done? We gotta go," he bellows authoritatively and Sam scrambles to his feet as if his life depends on it. 

Nyla looks disappointed but manages to give him a quick peck on his cheek and mutter a, "see ya later" in his ear.

The last thing Sam sees before turning around and leaving along with Dean is the way Jo shooting daggers at him and the retreating figure of Dean. 

\------------------------------


	11. Chapter 11

Dean doesn't talk during their ride home. His mind has been in a turmoil ever since Sam got back from Mexico and ever since his crush grew on him. Yes, he has to accept the facts now, as this feeling doesn't seem to go away and he's constantly being tormented with thoughts of having Sam. 

Tonight was one of those times, he was enraged watching Nyla all over him. He knew who arranged the whole charade. Jo. She's the one who brought Nyla to the bar and pre-arranged their meet. 

Dean didn't want tonight to go in this way. He wanted to be with Sam on his first night out and make him feel comfortable. But then Jo came with other plans. When she took him away from their table, Dean sincerely thought that she had to talk something in private. But it turned out that she wanted to keep him away from Sam so that Sam and Nyla could bond. He kept telling her that he had to get back but she took him by surprise and kissed him and he was caught in the moment. Finally, he had to extricate himself and come to their table only to find Nyla putting her claws over Sam. 

He knew Jo would be angry at him for spoiling her evening, but he's angry at her for putting a wrench in his plans. 

He throws a sideway glance at Sam sitting beside him, looking gorgeous, the air blowing his hair away from his face, from the partially open window. He looks serene and peaceful and Dean suddenly feels a wave of protectiveness come over him. 

The past week was crap watching Sam falling ill and being helpless in bed. And to think that he had to endure it all because of his urge to rescue Dean from the demon, was too much to bear. 

Dean doesn't understand what was happening to him, but he hasn't been feeling like himself for a long while now. His feelings for Sam have only been getting worse with no end in sight. He knows this is wrong and can't be done. 

And the way he got hard listening to Sam shag in the shower right next to him behind the curtain. Dean can't believe that really happened. After John left, Dean thought of checking on Sam. Especially after the way he left them in a huff, he thought may be Sam was angry about Dean touching him when he was unconscious. Honestly, Dean only did that with sincere intentions and he wasn't getting anything out of seeing Sam in that state. He was miffed that Sam misinterpreted his intentions.

He heard the sound of shower running and he went in, not caring what Sam thought. He was still grimey from the grease and wanted to wash himself off the sink. But as he was halfway through washing, he thought he heard a whimper come from the other side of the curtain quickly followed by soft moans. 

As if he couldn't immediately guess that Sam was masturbating in the bath. Dean stood in shocked silence until Sam went up the crescendo and finished while, he kept listening to the whole thing.  
Dean quickly washed himself off the soap, that was half dried off his face and hands, and got out. 

As Dean sat on the couch, waiting for Sam to come out, he kept thinking about what just happened. May be Sam didn't hear him go in. And even if he did know he was there, may be he didn't know that Dean heard him masturbating over the din of the water running. 

Dean decided he won't talk about it to Sam and make him uncomfortable. But he couldn't deny the fact that it was damn hot to hear Sam shag right off beside him. He could feel himself become hot and hard thinking about a naked Sam standing in the other side of the curtain and pumping his cock. The visual was too intoxicating. 

Dean knows that he has to end his infatuation towards Sam. But he doesn't know how. He's trying hard and but everyday, it's becoming harder. 

They arrive home and Dean parks their car in front of the house. He decides to return the car back to Ash tomorrow as it's become too late. Sam gets down and passes by Dean to unlock the door. For a second, Dean admires Sam from behind as his jeans gets tighter around his perky butt while he bends in front to unlock the door. 

Sam looked great today, Dean thinks, in his V-necked t-shirt that did nothing to hide the smooth skin under his neck. The V was deep and gave a good view of his pecks that were nicely forming now as Sam has started to do weight training. Dean couldn't blame Nyla for being besotted with him. Too bad Sam is gay and will never reciprocate her feelings. But it gives him a perverted satisfaction that he can't explain.

He looks around to see that John hasn't arrived yet. He goes into his bedroom to change to his PJs. He peels off the jeans and places it on the chair nearby and removes his t-shirt. He's only in his undies and turns around to take his PJ's from the wardrobe when he collides into Sam standing right behind him. 

"Oops, sorry!" says Sam and Dean swallows hard. Sam is standing there, clad only in his Jeans. Dean's eyes move to Sam's body before quickly settling at his eyes. "No problem," he says as he tries to move around Sam to get to his wardrobe, when Sam stalls him by holding him by his arm. "Wait, I gotta tell you something." 

Dean lifts his eyebrows, "Yeah?"

"Thanks for taking me to the bar. I enjoyed it and thanks for saving me from Nyla at the right time. If you hadn't come at that moment, she would have shagged me right under the table."

Dean gives Sam his toothy grin, "Well, you're welcome."

"But Dean, you got to tell them that I'm gay," says Sam, a sudden note of seriousness creeping into his tone. "I don't think this will work in the long run, and if you want me to feel comfortable around them, they'd better know the truth."  
"And I saw you kiss Jo," he adds, looking deep into Dean's eyes. "I wanted to go to the restroom but I spotted you nailing her to the wall and kissing her mad."

"I.." staggers Dean as he thinks of something fitting to say. "It wasn't me... She caught me off guard and I just went with the flow, it wasn't…"

"No, you don't have to give me any explanations," cuts in Sam, his voice now almost a whisper. "I understand you like girls. And that's totally fine with me." He pauses as his eyes lazily travel up and down on Dean's half naked body. "But you see, I like men.…" "Men who are strong and handsome, ones who won't just stand on the other side of the curtain while I shag on the inside but will join me in the shower and nail me to the wall, kissing me silly..." he stops talking, looking shyly at Dean.

There's an awkward silence in the room while Dean stands rooted to the floor, his eyes wide, his brain trying to make meaning of what he just heard. 

So... It wasn't an accident. Sam was aware of his presence that evening while he shagged in the shower. Sam is interested in him; He has feelings for him. Just the way he has for Sam.  
And… Sam wants to have fun; with him. 

Dean's brain finally starts to tick and the next moment, he is on Sam, pushing him over to the nearest wall, holding him close but pinning his hands above his head. Their faces are so close and Dean can smell the citrus and melon scent of Sam's shampoo hitting his nostrils. His mind turning to mush, he doesn't think he could hold this any further. With their mouths are just a few inches away from each other, Dean looks intently at his baby brother who's breathing hard, his mouth gaping, his eyes full of desire, his body shaking under Dean's touch.

Dean closes the gap and crashes his mouth on Sam's, crushing his body with the strength of his, tugging at his neck, his hair, whatever comes within his grasp. 

Sam is returning his kiss with equal passion and suddenly Dean realises the dream he had, the first one, of kissing Sam under the big peepal tree by the lake. This is his dream come true but the moment feels surreal to him. He'd never kissed another boy in his 19 years of life, but here he's is, instantly hard as a rock for his kid brother, leaking through the thin layer of his undies.

He can feel Sam getting hard, the massive bulge against his crotch tells him that Sam loves this too, and that makes him harder and he's now pumping his hips against Sam. Sam reciprocates in kind by doing the same and in a minute, they're rutting and straining against each other, pushing and shoving, the more they touch, the more they can't have enough.

Sam is making these little moans as Dean ravages his mouth, licking and sucking at his lips, biting him, and trailing down his kisses to Sam's collar bone. He blows air and sucks in, causing Sam to buckle and go limp against him, his hips pushing against him, desperately seeking a release.

This is the best feeling Dean has ever had in his whole life, he's losing it, his brain in a fuzz and he fully intends to carry Sam over to the bed when he hears the unmistakable sound of impala's horn at the door step. 

Sam hears it too, for both of them stiffen at once and Dean pulls himself away from Sam in lightening speed. 

They both look at each other in terror, as Dean whispers, " Wear your clothes," and runs into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. 

Sam's brain is in a haze, and for a full second, he feels disoriented and clueless as what to do when he hears the door open and John enter the house. 

He quickly throws his t-shirt back on him and grabs a book by the night stand and falls on the bed, face down and starts to read just as John enters their room calling out Dean's name.

"Sam, there you are, when did you come? Where's Dean? Did you have dinner?" John keeps stacking questions and Sam just realises that they still haven't had dinner. 

"Uhm, just arrived, haven't had dinner, waiting for Dean to come out of bath so that he can throw something together."

John checks his watch. "It's kinda late, still haven't started preparing dinner? Okay, let Dean take his time, I'll see if I can make something." John leaves the room to go to the kitchen and Sam collapses back on the bed and lets out a long breath that he wasn't aware he was holding.

'So close…' he thinks sullenly. But his brain goes back to thinking about what just happened and he can't help letting out a sly smile. 

That was the best feeling he's ever had that he feels tremendously happy just thinking about it. His stomach is doing flip flops, he doesn't think he can have dinner, doesn't think he can hold anything in, right now. He just can't wait for bed time to come so that Dean and him could… in one of their beds…' 

His whole body tingles at the mere thought of it.  
Oh God, Dean is by far, the best thing that happened to him, seriously!

And Sam thinks he's falling in love.

\---------------------------------


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry to upload the chapters so late but with covid looming large, I have my hands full as far as my personal life goes. I try to write whenever I find time but for the past several days, it's been so difficult. I'm trying my best to manage my work on all fronts and get some private time to write my chapters.  
> Let me hope that I'll be able to do it much better in the future.  
> Now on to the chapter. I'm glad for the people who put up with the gap between the chapters and staying with me. Yet, I'd love to have your input here and there. So feel free to comment.  
> Now take care and I'll see you soon.  
> Love y'all 😍

What has he done?

Dean is resting one hand against the bathroom wall, the water from the shower above, falling with full force on his head, him standing in the tub in a subdued stance, his head held low, his mind meditating on the incident that just happened between him and Sam.

It's wrong. It's stupid. It's scandalous. 

He wouldn't be able to find one sane being in this whole world, who'd accept what he did with Sam.

Forget the rest. What about John? 

Just listening to John's voice coming through the door from their bedroom was enough to fill him with dread of untold proportions.

How will he explain to John what just happened? How will he be able to make him understand that he's fallen in love with his little step brother? How will he, in a million years, tell John that he and Sam have sexual feelings for each other?

Dean keeps shaking his head in despair even as his body refuses to listen to him, thinking with a mind of its own and demands to be fed by the thoughts of him doing things to his brother. At his weakest moment, Dean let's his hand go to his cock and strokes it gently. He's immediately greeted with its rock hardness, the penis throbbing in this hand with the sweet memory of his little brother's luscious lips against his own.

He groans and let's his mind wander to the details of their little rendezvous a few minutes earlier. Sam's half clad body, his beautiful face with chiseled features and his luscious dark hair, silky soft in Dean's fingers as he pulled at it, fill him with lust and Dean pumps into his hand making groaning noises that get lost in the water that's raining upon his head. Soon he climaxes with shudders, biting his lips to suppress the sounds so that Sam couldn't hear them.

With the edge of his lust taken off, he steps out of the bath, his mind determined to set this right once and for all. He shouldn't have let this happen in the first place. 

\---------------------------------

Sam had to join John in the kitchen to prepare the table for dinner. He waited long enough for Dean to get out of the bath but for some reason, he is taking his time. Sam wishes that Dean doesn't shag himself off because he wants him for himself tonight. He wants Dean's urgency, his passion, all his attention on him. Tonight, he wants to be the girl Dean would take to bed. The thought causes his stomach to cramp in knots and he throws a furtive glance at John and debates if he should excuse himself from the ordeal of eating when all he wants to do is to go and lie down until his nerves relax. 

Before he could make up his mind, Dean emerges from the bedroom and goes straight to the kitchen to help John in bringing the dishes to the table. They sit side by side while eating dinner and Sam can't even look at Dean. John and Dean eat their dinner in silence while Sam picks on his food. After they're done, Sam ends up washing the plates and pans, while John retires to his bedroom.

Sam feels his excitement turn into anxiety. He finishes cleaning the dishes and dries his shaking hands in the kitchen towel. He switches off the kitchen light and enters their shared bedroom.

The room is in darkness and he can see the sillouette of Dean lying in his bed. Sam closes and locks the door, then slowly approaches Dean's lying form and sits at the foot of his bed. 

Dean doesn't stir with movement caused by the dip in his bed. He's still and motionless and for a moment, Sam suspects that he's fallen asleep. But as Sam places his hand on Dean's thigh, Dean gets up and sits up. He switches on the table lamp and looks at Sam, his eyes fixed on his, deep and intense.

Dean doesn't say a word, but Sam realises that something is wrong. There's this determination in Dean's eyes and his face is impassive. None of the excitement or desire that Sam's feeling right now is there in Dean's eyes and Sam's has a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach.

Without a word, Dean brushes Sam's hand away from his thigh and says casually, "Go to your bed and sleep, Sam. I got lots of work to do tomorrow. Goodnight." Just like that, he turns and sleeps on his stomach, leaving a stunned Sam gaping at him. Disappointment snakes up Sam's spine as he turns cold and then red with embarrasment.

He doesn't remember climbing his own bed, but all he can sense are the hot tears that well up his eyes and drench the pillow below him. He doesn't know how long he cries, at times with loud sobs until his tired, swollen eyes could go no longer and he drifts off into unconsciousness.

\----------------------

He bats his eyelids open to the bright sun light pouring into the room. His eyes go to the wall clock and finds the time is 9:15 am. Memories of the previous night come back to him and immediately fill him with sorrow and remorse. He sits up only to find that Dean isn't there anymore, his bed made up, all clean and tidy.

He clambers down from his bed and walks to the bathroom with slow zombie steps. He can't look at himself in the bathroom mirror, his face looks swollen and his eyes look red and puffy. He splashes cold water on to his face and neck and tries to wash away as much sleepiness as he could along with the layers of disappointment and sorrow that's taken grip of him. But as he washes, fresh tears come pouring down his face and he cries once again, his ribs raking in strangulated sobs.

When he finally emerges out of the bathroom, he straight up goes to the garage shed, for he instinctively knows that Dean would be there. Ash's car is missing, which meant that John must have taken it to Ash's house to retrieve the impala. John was saying the previous night that he had someplace to go with Bobby in the morning and he needed his impala.

As he reaches the garage, he sees Dean sitting on an old tyre that's lying on the floor of the garage, a beer in his hand and his mind in deep thought as is evident by the deep scowl on his face. His t-shirt looks sweat stained which means he's been working there for long, god knows from when. 

Dean glances up at Sam as he enters the shed, then looks away at the beer at hand and sighs. Sam goes by and sits on another tyre next to him, not saying a word, just staring at the floor beneath him.

"I…" Dean drawls.., "am sorry."

"For what?" asks Sam, his voice a raspy whisper.

"I'm sorry for leading you to this. I'm sorry for giving you the wrong idea. I'm sorry for taking advantage like that, yesterday night. I'm sorry, Sam."

"You didn't lead me in to this," blurts out Sam, his voice rising in anger. "You didn't bait me, or take advantage. I wanted you Dean," he breaks down finally, his voice trailing in to a sob as he wipes the snot away from his nose with the sleeve of his t-shirt. "I wanted you yesterday night, I still want you. I don't know where you got the idea that I didn't want it or that you're saving me from this."

"I know that, sam. Look, I don't know how this started and what we want from each other, but this can't go on, Sam." Dean looks pained and he chews out the words as if he has trouble even speaking it. "I don't know if it was my mistake or yours but we need to cut this out. You're my brother, for heaven's sake," he spits out the word with contempt, "and here I am trying to bed you. How do you think it will work, huh? What will people think?"

Sam listens to Dean, his every word stabbing at his heart and shredding it to pieces. "What people are you talking about, Dean? Why should any person know about us and why should we care? Isn't it enough that we both like each other? Why are you bothered about others?" Right now he can't listen to reason, his heart is set on Dean that he can't understand why Dean can't see that.

"So you say that we should continue to see each other and no one will suspect a thing? What about Dad? Bobby, Ellen, Jo?" What will we tell them when they come to know? Huh?"

"Ah, I see. It's Jo who you are concerned about," says Sam bitterly. "Of course, she's your girl friend and you can't betray her, even though you can see that she's trying to come between us. Just tell me that you love her and go."

"I'm trying to tell you that our relationship won't be accepted and people will talk shit about us and we can't have that. And what will they say about me when I'm the big brother who's taken advantage of his younger brother's innocence?"

"I'm not innocent, stop treating me like a child. I know this is tricky and needs to be under wraps. John and Bobby wouldn't know if we're careful. Quit giving me excuses and say to me straight that you don't like me. I think you love Jo and that's the reason you want to avoid me. Just accept that like a man instead of giving me bullshit reasons." Sam's seething in anger and it's as much he could do to control his next bout of tears that are threatening to come out any moment.

Dean throws his hands up. "Okay, yeah! It's Jo. I love her. And I can never love you or want you as much. That's why I'm avoiding you. So, there's the truth, now can we go back to our fucking normal lives? Or do you have a problem with that?" 

Dean shoots daggers at Sam and Sam stands up abruptly and looks down at Dean, his eyes full of contempt, "You know what? Fuck you. I'm not going to sleep with you in a thousand years even if you beg me to. You and Jo, you deserve each other." He storms off the place, sobbing.

Dean stares at the retreating figure of Sam, his heart an aching mess, his eyes finally giving way to the tears that were waiting to come. He swipes away with the edge of his sleeve as he contemplates his feelings. 

He loves and wants Sam with a vengeance that he's not known for long. Is he gay if he wants to have sex with Sam? May be, or may be he's bi. But ever since he's been fantasising about Sam, his sexual attraction towards girls has taken a nosedive. He isn't keen on making out with Jo either, he only does it because he has to. And he's definitely not in love with her.  
He's got to say that he's in love with her in order to turn down Sam. Well, Sam will be angry with him for a while. But later on, he'll understand that Dean did it for a reason. That Dean sacrificed his feelings for Sam's own good. Dean swallows the beer in one go, swallowing the painful growing lump in throat along with it.

\--------------------------------------------------

There's only so much that Sam could do, sulking at home. It's been three days since the showdown with Dean and he's been pretty much out of Dean's hair through those days. He immerses himself in housework, weight training and watching TV. John is quite busy, as he always is and Dean goes out to the bar every night. 

He contemplates contacting Chad but cuts the thought out as immediately. Chad has started dating Peter and he doesn't wish to disturb him at this point. Moreover, in his rebound state, he's more likely to do something that he'll regret later, so it's better to shun the temptation. 

By the end of the third day, he is so bored that he is ready to walk up a wall. It's why when Dean asks him the next day evening to go out with him to the bar, he doesn't put up much of a fight. At least a change in scenery and people would take his mind out of his despair.

He doesn't speak one word to Dean on their way, using only monosyllables to answer him. Dean doesn't mind it so long as Sam agrees to go out with him. He has been worried about Sam's mental health after that day and has been observing him silently from a distance. He is glad to see that Sam is slowly coming out of his gloom. Dean is determined to do anything to make Sam feel better. 

They drive to the same bar that they went to earlier- only this time, before entering the bar, Dean shares his beer with Sam in the car. Sam doesn't complain, he takes a few swigs of the cold beer, immediately enjoying the buzz it creates in his brain.

"So, are we good?" asks Dean throwing a furtive glance at Sam, who's sprawled on the passenger's seat sipping on his beer. He looks so good in his short v-neck black shirt, paired with blue acid washed jeans. Dean swallows painfully, watching him as Sam brings one of his long leg up and places it folded on the seat. His hair looks silky and luscious and Dean has trouble controlling himself from reaching out and touch his locks. Sam's bangs have grown longer as they fall on Sam's forehead, covering part of his eyes.

"Not okay," says Sam, looking directly at Dean. "I'm not okay, not been okay for a while and I know that you are not okay too. So... quit playing games and kiss me."

Dean looks at Sam incredulously and chuckles. The way Sam's innocently looking at him demanding to be kissed is so cute and Dean's heart once again goes out to him. If there's one thing in the world that he would do now, he'd pull Sam to him and kiss him until he goes out of breath. Dean sighs big and shifts in his seat. "Sam, you know why we can't do that."

"Why not?" Sam slurs his words. I'm telilng you, I want to be kissed. Why wont you kiss me?"

"Because I can't," says Dean exasperated. "Sam, do you think I don't feel that? I've never felt anything so strong in my life. But this is just not right. And I can't let you in this knowing how it might affect you. Do you how much I have to control myself right now not to take you in my arms and kiss you? But I can't, we both can't do this."

Sam sits there silent stewing away, his eyes fixated on the far away trees. 

Dean sighs finally, "Okay, time to go in, c'mon Sam. Jo and her friends are waiting for us. Oh and I've informed them that you're Gay."

Sam turns to look at Dean. "So…what did they say?"

"They took it very well. Nyla was a bit embarrassed that she came on to you last time. But she was happy and proud of you. Everyone is."

"Really? What about Jo? What did she say? I bet she wasn't as thrilled," Sam smirks as he asks Dean. 

"She's fine with it too. What makes you think she wouldn't be?" replies Dean but his mind can't help jumping to Jo's reaction when Dean told her that Sam's gay. As it turned out, she wasn't too happy to hear the news. She was silent for a moment and finally said, "I knew it."

"What? How could have you known? I never told you?" Dean had said.

"I mean, I sort of suspected it but I didn't ask you of course. In fact I suspected it from the first time I saw him with you on the wrestling ground."

Dean broke out in a cold sweat. "Wh..why would you say that? What made you think that he was? I'm asking because, he clearly doesn't want people to speculate about him, neither do I."

"Let's say it's a female's intuition. Anyway, I'm glad he's out now. Hopefully he'll find someone good for him to date soon, right?" asked Jo, looking closely at Dean. 

Her gaze unnerved Dean yet he didn't give in to her scrutiny. "I don't think so. There's no need for him to date so soon. He's just come out. I want him to have some space before he goes out with anyone, I hope you understand that." 

"Yep, I understand very well. Don't worry about it." She had said. Now as he's listening to Sam questioning about Jo, he wonders how Sam knew precisely how Jo could have reacted.

Stealing himself away from his thoughts, Dean says, "Okay, Sam, c'mon let's go. It's time." As he tries to open the door and get out, he gets pulled right back in with unexpected force and he comes face to face with Sam. 

"Sam, what the..?" he can't finish the sentence as Sam's lips come in contact with his own. Sam is holding Dean's neck and pushes himself against him.

"Sam, wait!" Dean tries to stop but his words come out warbled with Sam plastered to his lips, licking and trying to open his mouth with his. 

Dean gently pries Sam's hands away from his neck and detangles himself from his grasp and pushes Sam away. Sam sits back in his seat, looking defeated, his breath seemly knocked out of him.

"Sam, what was that about?" asks dean, his voice barely a whisper. 

Sam starts to speak amidst bouts of sobs, "Please Dean, I can't.. I can't stop thinking about you. I think… I love you. Why should we care about the others? Why can't we be together?"

"Because I don't love you," yells Dean. 

Sam looks at him sharply, his eyes hurt. "You.. you don't mean that."

"Yes, I do. I don't love you, Sam, I never have. Why do you think I brought you here? For you to see the circle I move with, see the girl I'm in love with. I'm not gay like you Sam. Yes, I was momentarily distracted by you, but what did you expect? You kept strutting your ass in front of me simply to get my attention and I did give you my attention. It doesn't mean a thing. You may be a pretty piece of ass, but you aren't for me, Sam." Dean could feel his heart being ripped out of his chest as he says these harsh words to Sam. He could see Sam's eyes well up once again, the hurt of his words cutting through to his heart. But Dean's got to do this. He needs Sam to stop expecting things from him, things he can't give. It's better to nip this in the bud than at a later stage when it would be more difficult for both of them to stop it.  
He loved the kiss, he would have given anything to extend a second of that amazing kiss they just had. But he knows he cant have it. He can't have Sam. At least one of them has to be sane about this. And as the elder brother, he thinks it's his responsibility. 

Sam gets out of the car, slams the door and leans heavily against it. Dean gets out quickly and goes to Sam's side. But Sam puts out his hand as if to stop him from advancing any closer. "Enough! I thought I loved you, but thanx for letting me know how wrong I was. I'm thankful that you shown me that you haven't changed one bit, you are the same piece of shit you were when I first met you." Sam turns and starts to walk away from dean towards the bar, wiping his tears away with his sleeve. 

Dean stands rooted to the spot, unable to move. What has he done? He's made Sam do a complete circle, brought him back to hate him. His heart aches at the sudden loss of his love. He leans on impala's hood and takes a deep breath.

At least, his plan has worked in pushing Sam away from him. That should mean something. Someday Sam will know how big a sacrifice this was for Dean. Or chances are that he'll never know about it. Both way, it's fine, it doesn't matter. It's all for Sam's own good. Dean wipes his tear, takes a deep breath and starts to walk towards the bar.

As he opens the door and enters the bar, Dean is surrounded by the familiar smoke and noise of music and human chatter. He wades his way through to their usual table but stops short just ahead of it. He can see that Sam is already sitting in the midst of the gang comprised of Ash, Jo, Nyla, Susan and…. Who's that boy? Dean is looking at a tall, extremely good looking boy, sitting next to Sam, shaking his hand. Dean slowly walks up to the table and takes his seat next to Jo just as the boy turns to him. 

Jo hugs Dean excitedly and announces, "Dean, meet Brady, Nyla's gay brother who's also going to be Sam's surprise blind date for the night." 

Dean finds the wind knocked out of him as Brady, the stunning dark blonde haired and blued eyed boy, extends his hand in front saying, "Hi Dean, it's so nice to finally meet you!"


	13. Chapter 13

Dean feels like someone boxed him in his chest as he finds everything around him blur. 

Jo doesn't seem to mind Dean's lack of enthusiasm one bit. "Brady is Nyla's brother who was living with his father in Houston. Now, he's come to live with Nyla and his mother, since his dad remarried again," she adds proudly.

"Oh," says Dean as he shakes Brady's hand. "Nice to meet you, Brady. I hope you'll like it here."

"Thanks, I think I will. I have already met such nice friends of Nyla and I'll be going to the same school as Sam's. So, I hope I won't be too lonely," Brady smiles warmly.

"Isn't it cool that Brady is gay too?" chirps Nyla. When Jo told me about Sam, I immediately thought of Brady. They'd make such a cute couple."

Brady is going to date Sam? The thought makes Dean uncomfortable. He suddenly finds the bar too noisy and crowded and wants to go someplace quiet. 

"Yes, Brady came out to his family two years back and he's quite active in the dating game too. His parents feel that it's too dangerous for him to get around, hence the condition for him to settle down with a boyfriend. And I don't think it'd be too difficult for him to find someone here," says Jo, winking at Sam.

Brady laughs at that, "Uhm, I didn't actually want to go out today but Nyla brought me here by force. She told me I'm yet to meet the most gorgeous boy in town and I know now that she wasn't exaggerating."  
He looks at Sam and gives a dazzling smile. Sam blanches first and then he blushes, his face turning crimson from all the attention he was suddenly receiving. 

"I'm seriously smitten. If Dean would allow me, I'd like to take Sam for a short walk and have some private time getting to know him." Brady looks at Dean as if to ask his permission and Dean freezes, not sure how to react. He looks at Sam and Sam looks flushed. 

Before he could say anything, Sam gets up from his chair excusing himself to use the bathroom. Dean eyes automatically goes to Brady and finds that Brady is unashamedly checking out Sam's behind as he rounds around the table's corner to reach the restroom area.

Dean abruptly stands up and excuses himself to go to wash himself and leaves the table. He walks briskly to the washroom and opens the door to find Sam at the sink. Sam turns to look at Dean as he enters, but he looks away to focus on washing. 

"Sam, I'm sorry that the girls have arranged a surprise date for you. You don't have to do anything they say, just ignore Brady and I'll take you home right now."

Sam closes the tap, turns towards him and asks, "You don't me to go out with him?"

"Of course, not. You barely know him. This is so sudden and isn't it sick to ambush you with a sudden date like this? I'm gonna have a word with Jo and let her know how I feel, later. And this is like over stepping on your privacy, I'm livid with her for arranging this."

Sam's nostrils flare a little as he says, "I don't know Dean. Brady is kinda hot. And after all that happened between us and you rejecting me like I'm soiled goods, I think you don't reserve the right to tell me what to do." 

Dean looks like he's been punched in the face at that. "Okay," he throws his hands up, "Do as you please. Date him, fuck him, do what you want, see if I care. But I'll say this. If he tries to hurt you in anyway, I'll kill him." Dean turns on his feet and walks away outside slamming the door behind him.

He's seething as he sits in his spot and tries to listen to the conversation going on. Everyone's laughing and having fun and Dean silently stares at Brady, his fingers locking and unlocking themselves, taking in his looks and personality. Brady is everything that Dean would fear in a rival. He's freaking handsome and has an excellent sense of humour. He's easy to be with and he lightens up the whole place. He seems well mannered and intelligent too. With a sinking feeling, Dean realises that it's only fair that Sam would like to date him. He's everything what he'd look in a boyfriend and even Dean cannot fault him. 

Just then Sam arrives and Brady gets up, goes to to him and asks him if he'd like a walk with him outside. Sam says, "sure," and Brady takes his hand and leads him out while Sam keeps looking behind him at Dean as he walks away. Dean feels a sudden urge to yell at Sam to not go. He wants to snatch him away from Brady and take him away in his impala. 

But he does neither. He sits there stoically, his lips set in a straight line, his mind a frantic mess. As the chatting rages around the table, he does his best to take part, while still a part of him feels lost.

Sam walks outside with Brady and they stroll around the parking area. Brady stops near a Mercedes Benz and throws in the key. He unlocks it, sits in the driver seat and asks Sam to get in. Sam gets in to the passenger seat, marvelling at the fancy car that Brady owns. 

"I may be in your grade but I'm actually 17," Brady flashes his provisional drivers licence in front of Sam. "I had to miss a year of school because of pneumonia." He says matter of factly, as he puts his licence back in the car pouch. 

Brady sits back in his seat and finally turns to look at Sam, his eyes doing a full sweep on his body and coming to rest on his eyes. Sam visibly flushes red, caught off guard by the scrutiny. 

Brady smiles, obviously enjoying the reaction but he puts on a serious expression and starts to speak, "Sam, I came here without an expectation. It was my mom's idea for me to have a steady boyfriend. My parents are afraid of how older men prey on younger boys these days and are worried about my associations. But they obviously don't know what a badass I am. Back in Houston, I spilt open the lip of the last guy who called me a fag. I'm not saying this to impress or anything, but to let you know that I usually don't settle for just one guy. I've had my fun. But…" he says that as he looks once again at Sam. "I like you. You can give all the boys I've dated, a run for their money. And I think I can honestly give their idea of having a boyfriend a go. What do you say?"

Sam is sort of taken aback by Brady's honesty. He hadn't met many guys who are gorgeous as well as classy like him. He sincerely gives, what Brady told him, a thought.

"Umm.. If I had met you just a few months ago, I would have jumped up at the opportunity. You are honestly the most good looking guy I've ever met." 

Even as he says that Sam's mind immediately jumps to Dean. Brady is good looking, but definitely not as good as Dean. Sam doesn't know if it's his partiality that speaks for him, but honestly in his current mind, no one can come close to Dean. No one.

"I like you," he continues, "and I'd very much would like to have a boyfriend like you.. but.. I can't do that. I've fallen in love with this great guy and currently my mind can't focus on anyone else. I'm constantly thinking of him.."

"Oh," says Brady, disappointment written all over his face. "The lucky bastard..," he chuckles.

"Don't know if he's lucky because he rejected me and I'm currently nursing a broken heart. I don't think it'd be justified on my part to date anyone while I'm still hung up on him, right?" Sam asks him, his head hung low and looking through his bangs. 

"He rejected you? Damn...' Brady says disbelievingly. "Okay, but the brighter side to this is that I still stand a chance then? Like a rebound or something?" Brady smirks at Sam and Sam's laughs.

"That won't be nice on my part to do that to you. You are a 10/10 and you shouldn't be wasting your time on me. But time heals every pain and we'll see where it goes from there, okay?"

"Yes, it's okay. I'll see you in school then. We don't have to be lovers, but we can still be friends, ok? 

"Yeah sure," says Sam. "Thanks for understanding me, I hope you'll soon find a cute boy to date," and before Brady could get out of the car, he pulls him and gives a peck on his cheek. 

Brady smiles at him as he swipes the kiss with the back of his palm while there's a huge knock on the car window from Sam's side. They both jump and look outside to see Dean standing there with a grim expression on his face. 

"Uhm, okay, it's time for me to leave, I think. See you later, Brady, it was nice meeting ya." 

"My pleasure," Brady says as he opens the door on his side and gets out. 

Sam has already gotten out and walking away with Dean. Brady just stands there, looking longingly at the retreating figure of Sam. 

He likes Sam. Very much indeed.

\-----------------------------------

They both don't speak with each other on most of their way back. Sam can see that Dean is sulking for some reason but he doesn't ask him why. He had a lot in his mind right now. He isn't ready for Dean's moodiness, whatever caused it.

After about 10 mins of steering at the road ahead, Dean breaks the silence. "So, how was he?"

Sam startles from his silence giving Dean a quizzical expression. "Who?"

Dean turns his attention to Sam's and raises his eyes brow. "Don't play coy with me, Sam. You know who I'm talking about."

Sam takes Dean's saltiness and guesses who he must be taking about. "You mean Brady?"

"Of course I'm talking about Brady, Sam. Who else will I be talking about?"

Sam feels his anger rise at that but he sighs and replies, "I guess he's alright."

"That's all?" Dean throws a snigger, "You spent an awful long time with him in his fancy car. I had to literally search everywhere before I spotted you both cocooned inside. I bet you both kissed."

Sam finally gives way to his anger as he grapples with Dean's sarcasm. What he can't understand is why Dean should get mad at what he did with Brady. 

He opens his mouth to refute the allegation, to tell Dean that nothing actually happened and that he rejected the offer to date Brady, but he catches himself in time. Dean didn't want him, right? He brutally rejected him. Why is he bothered what he does with anyone now? He has absolutely no right to know what Sam is up to nor can he dictate his life for him.

He finally speaks with measured words, "That's something you're going to have to keep wondering about. But I'll say this. Brady is a lovely guy and please don't take your petty anger on him."

Dean glares at him but Sam is already looking into his phone giving Dean the bitch face and Dean has no other option than to concentrate on the road.

In the next 15 mins, they are home. John is watching TV eating his dinner and he has left the dinner on the table for the boys. By the time Dean finishes his dinner and goes to bed, Sam is already snoring softly. 

Dean looks at Sam's beautiful, agile body still clad in the same t-shirt, taking the curve of the bed and his throat goes dry. Just a few nights ago, he could have had his way with him and Sam was so eager and ready to please him. But alas! Dean finds his cock go hard at the thought of it. Sam was pining, shivering under his touch and Dean could have given what Sam wanted. He sighed at the complexity of the situation which caused him to deny his advances and to let go of Sam. It's for his own good. He had taken the right decision. 

But today, when he saw Sam with Brady in the car, he almost lost it, became irrationally angry and jealous. 

He can't have Sammy although he wanted nothing else. He knew that Sam was always going to get another man for him but he didn't think it could happen this fast. He hasn't even gotten over Sam, and already there's Brady ready to put his claws on him. 

Dean knows he must be the better person and let Sam get over him. But his heart is aching and it's something that Dean has never experienced in his life. He sighs and turns in his bed trying to get hold of sleep that's become so elusive to him of late.

\-------------------------

The month passes of in a haze and before they know it, it's time for Sam to go to school. 

The first few weeks of school goes uneventfully for Sam though he catches glimpses of Brady in the corridor. 

Brady's become an instant hit in the school and girls queue up in front of him to get his attention. Sam smiles inwardly as only he knew of Brady's secret, though he was sure his close comrades knew about it. 

Sam tries to steer clear of Chad but Chad is insistent in keeping his friendship even though they aren't dating anymore. Sam is reluctant in the beginning but soon he relents and makes peace with both Chad and Peter. 

There is no head way with Dean after that, Dean is going about his life, helping John in hunting, training and working in the garage and Sam tries to stay away from him as far as possible. Watching Dean everyday in front of him is torture enough and the occasional visits from Jo pushes him into despair, so he immerses himself into home work and house hold chores to stay sane.

There's no way he's going to get over Dean with Dean being up so close but he is trying. Sam is sitting in the college cafeteria along with Chad and Peter and thinking about Dean, while Chad nudges him on the elbow. 

Being torn away from his thoughts, he barks, "what?"

Chad points with his eyes to a spot behind Sam, "That guy Brady, he's been giving you the looks. It's been 15 minutes we've been here and he's not taken his eyes away from you for more than a few seconds. What's up?"

Sam turns to look at the table two rows behind them to see Brady sitting in one of the chairs and staring at him. As Sam looks, he immediately looks away, pretending to talk to his friends. 

Sam sighs and gets back to his phone when Chad stops him. "What's going on? I thought he liked girls. Doesn't he? They way you both looked at each other, I can say something definitely brewing there."

"Nah," Sam sighs, "There's nothing going on between the two of us. But you may be right about his preference. I know for a fact that he likes men."

"I see, so how do you know that for sure?"

Sam lowers his voice to a conspiratorial whisper, "Let's say I met him through one of Dean's friends and he asked me out." Sam continues as Chad and Peter look excited, "But I told him it can't happen and that I can't do it right now."

"What? Why?" Peter asks bewildered. "Is it because you are still…" he doesn't finish his sentence before Sam cuts in. "No Peter. That's not it. As much as you think Chad is wonderful, I'm over him. You both have nothing to do with this."

"So what's the problem?" Asks Chad.

"Let's say during the hiatus, I met someone and fell in love with him." Sam says sheepishly. "And this relationship is doomed from the beginning and I can't get over him."

Chad and Peter look at each other before starting to pester Sam to reveal the name. "C'mon Sam, get out with the truth. Who's this guy? Do we know him? And why can't you have him if you both liked each other?"

"Guyz. All I can say for now is that it is more complicated than you can ever imagine. Yes, you both know him well but I can't reveal his identity right now. Not without looking like a fool and a sinner in the eyes of society. May be I'll open to you both when I have a better grip about this myself but right now I feel lost. I'm so confused by these feelings that I find it difficult to discuss it with anyone." Just then, someone taps Sam on the shoulder and he turns to look and then he freezes. 

Brady is standing there with a big smile on his handsome face. Sam gapes and turns to look at Chad and Peter and finds them gaping at him as well. 

"Hey Sam," says Brady, extending his hand to shake. "I've been trying to talk to you for the past few weeks but you've been doing a great job of hiding from me."

"No way. I was just busy with my friends. Besides, you seem to have become quite popular among the kids, so I thought I wouldn't be in your way."

Brady flashes a smile displaying his beautiful set of white teeth and Sam is momentarily swayed. He looks outrageously gorgeous and Sam doesn't understand what Brady sees in him. He could get the best looking boy in the would. What's he doing in this school and what does he want from him?

"Today is Friday, are you coming to the bar tonight?" Brady asks expectantly.

"I don't think so. Dean would .."

"Dean is coming too. He has a date with Jo tonight and Nyla and I would be going too. It'd be great if you could accompany Dean."

"Dean is going with Jo?' Sam's face falls a bit but he tries to not show his disappointment.  
"I don't think I'll be able to make it. Some other time, Brady. Thanks for asking." 

If Brady is disappointed, he doesn't show it. "Okay, no problem. Take care, Sam. See ya." Brady leaves the table and Sam turns to face his friends. There's a pin drop silence before Peter exclaims, "Are you crazy? That was Brady, the most good looking kid in town and you just blew him off? Are you out of your mind?"

Sam doesn't say anything. He shrugs, "Well, got that chemistry assignment to finish. May be next time."

The bell rings and Peter gets up to go. "I have to be on time for physics class. Got to go. See ya lads."

As Sam waves a bye to Peter, he can see that Chad is staring at him. "What?" Sam says bemused. 

"The guy you were taking about is Dean, isn't it?" Chad asks him suddenly, his eyes wild and bewildered. 

"What?" 

The guy you were taking about. That you said you have fallen for? The complicated love. That's Dean isn't it?" Chad's voice raises in decibel as he becomes more sure of it by the second.

"Shh.. shh.. lower your voice." Says Sam fiercely. 

Chad sits there staring at him. "It's him, isn't it?" As Sam sits in stoic silence, Chad jumps up for dramatisation. "Aha, I knew it."

"Would you mind not announcing that to the whole school, please?" sighs Sam. Taking a deep breath, he says, "Yep, it's him. What gave it away?"

"For once your expression when you heard that Dean is going with Jo. And I don't know what else, a myriad of other small things I guess."

Sam puts his face in his hands and rubs it. "I don't know what to say Chad. It all started rather playfully. And now I can't get him out of my mind." He looks hopefully at Chad. "Do you think there's a chance? Dean doesn't think so. He's been avoiding me like the plague."

"And for good reason," adds Chad. "Sam, how do you think this will ever work? Imagine falling in love with your brother. And don't tell me you told Dean about it. He'd have freaked out."

Sam glares at Chad for a second before calming down and continuing, "It's not like that. It started with both of us liking each other from the beginning." He tells Chad everything from the start till the end, finally looking up at Chad's shocked face. "Yep, that's it. So now Dean thinks he made a mistake and avoids me but I can't forget him. Chad, tell me how do I get myself out of this? I tried everything for the past many weeks. I just can't seem to get him out of my mind."

Once out of the initial shock, Chad sighs and smiles. "This is bizarre in many levels but as I see this from a scientific point of view, there's no harm as you both are boys and none of you can produce an offspring."

Sam glares at him. "Seriously? Is that all you come up with?"

"I'm just saying that there's no harm in you two getting together. Technically, you are half brothers, so I sort of understand the attraction though I got to accept that you both being sizzling hot, it's a wonder how you both didn't catch fire just being next to each other," laughs Chad.

Sam joins in the laughter as he's feeling better for the first time in a long while, opening his heart to Chad. "I've got to get Dean back, Chad. And I'll need your help for it. Please give me some ideas for seducing him." 

Can't believe I'm giving ideas for people to seduce their big brother, god, what have you reduced me in to," Chad says dramatically as Sam throws the dirty napkin at him. "You better help me or I'm going to kick you in the ass," laughs Sam not knowing that this was only going to push him into more despair than ever.

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	14. Chapter 14

Sam literally wants to kick Chad because all the ideas that he comes up with involved him in a short towel or without it. 

“Don’t you have any other ideas other than exposing my body?” He whines.

“What do you want me to say? FYI, if I ever want to get seduced I definitely would want you to do that. Keep that in mind.” 

Sam throws another piece of dirty napkin at him and Chad dodges, laughing. 

“So is that how it happened? You and Peter? Did he seduce you in his shortest brief?” Asks Sam, smirking at Chad.

Chad’s face falls as he immediately becomes serious. “Sorry Sam. I know I screwed up. It’s painful that’s why I didn’t talk about it earlier,” he looks up at Sam with miserable eyes. “And it wasn’t like that. Actually I don’t even remember other than falling asleep in his bed that night. And it didn’t mean anything later on too, at least to me. But it did for Peter, so I caved in. Whatever said and done, I betrayed you. I am very sorry about it.”

Sam’s smile vanishes from his face as he remembers how hurt he felt at first, while he learnt about their affair. 

“Know what, Chad? Of course I felt bad initially but no offense to you or our relationship, it never felt this painful as I feel with Dean now. What I’ve been feeling for the past few months has literally wrung out my heart for cleaners. Is this how real love feels like?”

Chad places a reassuring hand on Sam. “May be you both are soulmates. Who knows, I’ve only heard of such things but I am witnessing probably for the first time with you.” And just like that his face lights up. “Hey! You want Dean to come to you right? Why don’t we try this?” he almost yells. Sam shushes him looking around frantically. The cafeteria is almost empty and they are the only ones left with a few cleaning personnel at the other end of the room.

“Okay, what is it?” 

“You said Dean became irrationally angry when he saw you with Brady, right? What if you pretend date Brady and make Dean jealous? That way he’s sure to react.”

Sam is silent for a moment. But as he thinks about it, his face lights up and smiles. 

“You know what? That could actually work. Since Brady asked me out, I can pretend to go out with him and that would definitely make Dean jealous. I can use that opportunity to induce love and longing in him.” 

“Uh, but you may have to take into consideration that Brady might expect you do some things with you. Obviously you can’t tell him that you are taking advantage of him and in order for him to believe you, you may have to go along with dating him and that might include sexual favours.”

Sam glares at Chad for a full second, then he starts thinking. “Oh yeah, I didn’t think about it.” 

“Oh c’mon Sam. You can do it. What are a few kisses and making out when you have your eyes on the bigger prize? And it’s not like Dean isn’t having fun with Jo, is he? I think it’s totally justified.”

“Hold your horses, Chad,” chides Sam as he ponders over it for a few moments and then sighs. “Yeah, you are right. All’s fair in love and war. I’m gonna go head on into this, come what may. If I win, the prize will be Dean. Otherwise, I’ll tell Brady that it didn’t work out and break up with him, right?”

“Of course, you’re right. Now get on with it. And all the best for the adventure”, Chad winks and gives him a thumbs up.

As the school bell rings, Sam collects his school back pack and heads in Brady’s direction. The last period was calculus so they were in the same class. But before he can catch up with him Brady walks away with his friends. But soon enough, Sam finds him heading towards the men’s bathroom alone, so he briskly follows him in to it. 

He enters and pretends to wash his hands in the sink and waits for Brady to finish and come out. He sees a few boys come out but Brady is taking his time. Finally after a few minutes he comes out and Sam feels the timing is great because except for them, there’s no one around.

The moment Brady sees Sam at the wash basin he appears pleasantly surprised and walks towards him.

“Hey there, gorgeous!” He says as he washes his hands in the next basin.

“Hey there, you too!” Says Sam as he continues to wash. He watches him in the mirror and finds Brady checking him out, with a smile. Sam quickly returns his attention back to washing. 

Now is the time. It’s now or never. He clears his throat to speak but before that, Brady speaks.  
“You sure about not wanting to date me Sam? May be you should give me a chance and see how we work out together. You don’t have to commit to me. I won’t expect anything from you. There’s no harm in trying, is there?”

Sam can’t believe his luck. Things can’t work out any better than this. He mentally thanks Chad for the best idea he’s given in a while. 

He pretends to think about what Brady just said. Watching him relent, Brady’s face lights up. He turns to him and comes closer to Sam. He asks in a husky voice, “Sam?”

“Yeah, Okay,” he blurts out.

“Okay? Really?” Brady asks incredulously. He looks happy but also a bit surprised.

“Yes, ok. I’m not dating anyone now, so it can’t harm anyone right?”

“No, it can’t,” assures Brady as he moves closer to Sam. 

Sam immediately backs away and hits the wall behind. Brady comes dangerously closer until he’s only a few inches away from him. Just when Sam gets prepared for the onslaught, Brady moves away, smiling. “You’ll like me Sam, you’ll see. I’ll see you tomorrow in school then. We can plan our weekend together.” He winks before he leaves with the door closing behind him and finally Sam lets out the breath that he wasn’t aware he was holding for so long. 

It’s a tense week for Sam because he constantly had to keep glancing at Dean to see if the news still reached him because, he’s not going to tell him. That’ll look too obvious. He wants Dean to know through someone else, preferably Nyla. 

The rest of the week finally winds up and Sam meets Brady a few times in the cafeteria and they both sit alone having their snacks together. Sam finds it odd because his friends are right there in the next table while he sits with Brady, sipping hot chocolate and ignoring Chad’s stupid faces. 

But in all honesty, contrary to how Sam imagined it, it’s relatively easy to get along with Brady. He even finds him funny and smart and a treasure to have as a friend. Most importantly, Brady never pushes Sam in to doing anything physical. He is always at a respectable distance, so Sam starts to feel more comfortable in his presence. He feels a little guilty about using Brady as bait to make his brother jealous but tries to take comfort in the fact that it was Brady who suggested that they both try dating with no strings attached. In the end, Sam can always say that it did not work out between them. 

Dean comes to know about it on Friday evening. Sam knows that because Dean doesn’t make a show of keeping the information discreet. He almost ambushes Sam in the kitchen when Sam is preparing dinner. 

“Are you dating Brady?” Was his first question to him as Sam turned to use the blender? Sam jumps back a bit because he didn’t expect Dean to waylay him like that, but he soon recovers and answers a defiant, “Yeah, why?”

“How long has this been going on Sam? When did you think you were going to tell me? And do I have to know such an important detail like that through Jo?”

“Why? Isn’t Jo your girlfriend? Why is it beneath you to learn things from her?” 

Sam switches on the blender, drowning whatever Dean was about to say. Dean waits until he finishes and then says in a low growl. “It’s not about knowing from Jo. But it’s about you not telling me. Do you think I wouldn’t approve of your dating if I came to know?”

Sam looks at him incredulously. “By the looks of it, yes. The way you are jumping me for keeping this away from you shows how much you hate this, doesn’t it?”

Dean takes a deep breath and replies, “No, actually am not sad or angry at this. It turns out that Brady is a good guy and if I see you dating someone, it better be him rather anyone else.” 

With that Dean turns on his heel and walks away, leaving a stunned Sam behind him.

Sam fast dials Chad on his phone after closing his bedroom door and locking it from the inside.  
Chad picks on the third ring and Sam says an exasperated, “You idiot. I’m screwed. Oh god, why did I ever think this was a good plan?” 

Chad immediately perks up. “Wait. Where are you calling from? What happened, Sam?”

“Everything has gone to shit. That’s what’s happened. I tried to bait Dean by dangling Brady but now he thinks that I’ve taken the best decision ever by choosing Brady.”

Chad bursts into laughing and continues to laugh even after getting perfect silence from Sam’s end. “Wait, are you telling me that he approved of you dating Brady?”

“Not just that, he thinks that Brady is the best thing ever happened to me and is happy for me.” 

“Hmmm.” Chad ponders. “So he thinks it’s a good idea, huh?”

“Yes, says Sam, not minding sounding like a schmuck. He just needs some moral support right now and Chad is the only one who knows of his situation.”

“Okay, if he thinks that’s a good idea, let’s give him more of it. Let us give him an overdose of that until he can’t take it anymore and pukes. Sam, you need to up your game and shower love upon Brady as much as you can so that Dean can’t take any more of it, ok?”

Sam is silent for a moment. “I don’t know Chad. Right now, am gonna go with the flow and may be ditch Brady after a week or so. At least that would piss Dean, right? I want to punch the mofo on the face right now and this seems to be a good way of doing it.” 

“No, wait. Don’t be in a hurry to do anything drastic. Let’s see how today’s date is gonna go. Then we can decide what to do about it, okay? Until we know anything, be nice to Brady.”

Sam sighs and agrees before cutting the call. Okay, may be Dean will start to feel different once he starts to see him flirt with Brady.

It’s 11.30 at night, Sam is so tired but he can’t sleep. He starts to think about the events that took place just a few hours ago on his first official date with Brady.

And at around 6 in the evening, they were all at the bar. Sam was a bit wary but the evening went uneventful. Except for a small incident when Brady tried to grace Sam’s leg under the table and Sam, being unaware, stood up in fright and searched under the table for the offending thing alerting everybody around, until Brady had to admit that it was him. Everyone laughed hysterically and Sam who was embarrassed initially, joined them in the laughter.

Now, as he is lying on the bed and thinking about it, Sam isn’t sure if he can put up this act for long. He took up this pretention just to make Dean jealous but everything on the contrary happened. Dean was very cozy with Jo and Sam could see that Jo was acting extra cocky that she was the only Dean’s only attraction at the moment. 

Sam didn’t like Jo from the beginning, but now, as days pass, he was becoming more and more annoyed with her. For one, he doesn’t believe that she didn’t know that something was brewing between Dean and him. Jo knew. Which is why she brought in Brady and he, like a shmuck fell in to her trap.

He wants to kick himself for playing his hand so openly. At the bar, Dean and Jo were sitting on the opposite end of the table and she was holding on to his arm throughout the evening. At one point he said something and she kissed him on the lips. She held his head in her hands and they were kissing for a whole ass minute. A full minute while Sam gaped at Dean taking her lips in his and putting his tongue inside her mouth. Sam didn’t realize he was staring and right at that moment, Jo partially turned to look at Sam. They both stared at each other for a second and Sam knew that she knew. 

Sam shifts in his bed and the bed creaks loudly. He then hears Dean turning in his bed and ask him, “Not slept still, Sam?” 

Sam freezes for a moment, then answers, “Um..Yeah. Lots of thoughts running in my mind. Guess am a bit confused at the moment.”

‘About Brady?’ Asks Dean. 

Sam doesn’t answer for a second and then replies truthfully. “Yeah.”

There is complete silence from Dean and Sam cranes his neck to look at him. The light from the street seeps through the gaps of the curtain and Sam can clearly see Dean’s face from his bed. 

Dean is sitting up, his face a bit serious and he looks like He’s rehearsing a speech in his mind.

Watching him, Sam sits up too, a weird sensation of foreboding beginning in his stomach. His pulse seems to quicken as Dean opens his mouth to speak.

“I won’t lie, Sam. This Brady thing is killing me,’ he says looking at Sam.  
Sam isn’t aware He’s holding his breath until complete silence befalls the room and he can hear the thudding on his own heart. 

“I thought I was over you, but damn, this is difficult. Today, at the bar, as Brady touched you under the table and everybody laughed, I didn’t. He was touching you. I am so sorry to feel that way but at that very moment, I wanted to punch him very hard.”

Sam exhales very slowly. He’s starting to feel heady, wants to say so much, run over to Dean’s bed and assure him that he dating Brady is fake and he was only pretending to get to him but before he can think of saying anything, Dean continues. “That’s when I decided this can’t go any further. So I kinda proposed to Jo to end it all.”

Sam is sure he heard that but his brain refuses to process. “What?” He whispers.

“Yes, I realized that I could potentially ruin your relationship by being over protective and jealous, hence I decided that I commit myself to Jo, so that I won’t be able to waver from that.”

“You proposed to her? You are gonna marry her?” Sam yells not minding the surrounding.

“Shhh… shhh.” Dean gets up and checks up to see if the noise woke up John from the other side of the house, but hearing only the rhythmic snore coming from john’s room, he gives out a sigh of relief, closes the door and comes back to bed.  
“Look, I’m not getting married. Not now, anyway. I’m only twenty, it’s too early, but I have committed myself to Jo and we plan to marry in maybe 2 or three years. Until that, she’s going to be my steady girlfriend.”

“That’s still too young to marry. Dean, what were you thinking?”

“Look, we both have decided to dedicate our lives to hunting and maintaining peace in this world, you know. And we decided that we don’t want children. Just the two of us against the world, protecting our families and the world. So she suggested that we get committed early and settle in marriage soon so that we can focus on our profession better.” Watching the horror settling on Sam’s face, he clarifies, “It’s not an alien concept, you know? Dad got married early. So did Bobby. It’s not unheard of. Besides, in my case, this will certainly help me in overcoming my sinful mind. So, I said okay.”

“So, in actuality, she proposed to you and you said yes?”

“Does it matter who asked who?” Dean questions, cocking his eyebrows. “I think all that matters is that we are committed to each other now.”

Sam still gapes at Dean with an open mouth as he can’t fathom Dean’s logic. But he can sense that this game had gone a little too far and Dean has gone out of his reach now. Hot tears stream down his face and before Dean could notice, he turns his face and lies down on the pillow. 

“I know you must be thinking that I am stupid to do this, but Sam, I know this is for our own good. In a few years’ time we’d be laughing at ourselves for being this stupid, but for now I see this as the safest option. Oh! and Jo specifically told me to thank you, she was on and on about you being the happiest person to hear the news, I don’t know why she kept harping about that,” Dean keeps talking and Sam drowns out his voice with his own thoughts.

There is a big lump in his throat and Sam swallows it along with his tears and manages to say a gruff, “Whatever Dean, congratulations” and pretends to go to sleep. He cannot face Dean right now or he’ll cry and make a mess. And beneath all that, he’s tired. He has tried his best and if Dean really didn’t want him that much, what can he do? 

“Thanks,” Dean says and the next moment, Sam hears Dean settling in his bed by the rustle of the blanket. He senses another fresh burst of tears well up his eyes as he feels more alone than he felt in his whole life.

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	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the longest gap between the last chapter and this one. But honestly, I don't get the time to write like I used to anymore, owing to several commitments in my personal life. But I'll try to write whenever possible and upload in a timely manner from now on. Thank you for your patience and please leave a comment if you like this chapter.

Months pass by. Dean has been going around with Jo and Sam has been watching. He’s sort of become numb to the whole thing by now. Even Dean and jo kissing in front of him doesn’t bother him much these days. He’s conditioned his mind to drown out every thought about Dean but some days are harder than the rest. Like today. 

Sam finds it difficult to focus on the movie on TV as the incessant noise from Dean and jo kissing from the opposite end of the sofa is distracts him. At one point he even looks at them sharply to convey his mood, but has to immediately look away because they are kissing each other deeply, with Dean’s hands inside her t-shirt, groping her, and Sam feels his anger rise instantly, as he gets up and walks away. 

He is sitting on his bed inside his room, trying to read a book, when he feels a presence beside him and he gets up from the bed to find Jo standing there, smiling. “Jo, what is it?” he enquires, not knowing what she was doing in their room. His eyes wanders around to find Dean but there is no sign of him anywhere.

“Why? Shouldn’t I come inside Dean’s bedroom?” asks Jo as she goes around to sit on Dean’s bed, her eyes never leaving Sam. 

“Um, I guess so,” Sam says, as he tries to go back to his book, though he is painfully aware that Jo is studying him from the bed opposite.

“You both still share the same room?” she asks, and Sam looks up at her sharply. “Not saying you shouldn’t, but don’t you think that you both are a bit older to share a bedroom like school going boys?”

“I don’t see how this is your concern,” Sam rises to the bait though a better part of him knows that he shouldn’t encourage this conversation.

Jo throws up her hands in mock surrender as she quips, “Oops, sorry, didn’t want to be that judgmental bitch but you have to accept that its awkward for grown up boys to use the same bedroom.”

“What are you suggesting Jo? What do you think will happen if two grown up boys share the same bedroom?”

Jo keeps looking at Sam intently, as she walks up to close the distance between them and speaks in a whisper, “You tell me, Sam,” she says as she leans forward, her eyes studying Sam’s, “We both know what we are talking about. If I hadn’t come at the right time, you would have had Dean wrapped around your little finger, wouldn’t you?”

Sam finds the blood leave his face for a second, “What do you mean?”

“What I’m exactly saying.” Jo fixes him with a stare as she continues, “Do you think I didn’t see what happened that day between the two of you, Sam? You didn’t notice, but I had arrived much earlier and was watching you both wrestle before it turned into a hot moment. You were on the ground, panting, and Dean was on top of you and looking at you as if he was going to kiss you right there. I stepped in and stopped it from happening. And then as Dean straightened up, I saw that he was hard. I was confused initially as I couldn’t figure out what was going between the two of you but I didn’t know that you were gay then. Imagine my surprise when Dean told me that you were and that’s when things started to fall in place. You had a little crush on your big brother, didn’t you Sam? And he on you? It took some time and meddling, but Dean is totally in love with me now and you can do nothing about it, now. And I’m here to warn you to keep away from him, forever. Dean is happy in life finally and he loves me more than anyone else in the world. So I hope you would realize that the calf-love you had for him is over and I want you to stay in your own lane.” Jo then, turns and leaves, closing the door behind her, leaving Sam sitting there, trying to make sense of what happened.

Sam doesn’t know how long he was sitting on the bed, silently seething about the way Jo ambushed him, when Dean enters the room to hang his jacket on the peg behind the door. Sam finally comes out of his reverie and stares at Dean. “Where were you?”

“I went to the medical store. Jo said she got her period and had no tampons handy, so I went to get her some. Why, what happened?”

“Nothing… Um.. Dean, do you really like Jo? Like… do you really love her?”

“Of course, I do,” says Dean as he sits on the edge of his bed. “She’s fun and she’s also a hunter, a rare combination to find, Sammy. Which means, I can go for hunts with her and at the same time, I can also plan a picnic with her, she’s that kind of a person and I like that.” Dean pauses as he takes in Sam’s expression, “Why, what happened, you look like you seen a ghost?”

Sam doesn’t say anything. He simply shakes his head and says, “I’m fine, I just was wondering if you both are doing okay.”

“Of course, we are doing okay,” says Dean as he then face palms himself, “See, I completely forgot to tell you. Coming weekend, we are all going trekking near Gambien Lake. Bring Brady too so we can have a fun weekend, okay?”

“Weekend? You mean as in more than a day?”

“Yeah, we’ll go on Saturday morning and be back only on Sunday evening. Ash and Laura are bringing the camping gear and we will be taking his father’s trailer. You remember to pack some extra jackets and blankets for us, okay? And lots of your trademark sandwiches. I told them that you make mind blowing ham sandwiches.”

Sam nods his head demurely, feeling depressed about facing Jo again in that set up. He has been right about her from the beginning. So, introducing Brady to him was her plan to keep him away from Dean. 

And what about Brady wanting to date Sam? Was it a ploy to distract him so that he would leave Dean alone? Was Brady in this too? Sam is confused but he is sure about one thing. Dean likes Jo genuinely, and maybe she is the right person for him. Sam is just an unwanted accessory to this sordid triangular love story and he doesn’t want to be that anymore. Maybe it’s time he really moved on and let Dean have a normal life. Maybe he should just leave town and apply for a university in some other city. That way, he will be far away from Dean. Sam sighs and closes the book that he was reading.

They all meet on Saturday morning at Ash’s house. John, Ash’s father George along with Bobby, had gone on a fact finding mission for an old case for the weekend, so they got the trailer all for themselves. 

Jo and her friends, Nyla, Susan and Sarah had brought their dates with them, so along with Ash, his girlfriend Laura, Dean and Jo, and Sam and Brady, they made 12 of them. 

They set off at dawn after having a quick breakfast, with Ash driving the bus and Dean riding shotgun. Which meant Sam was travelling the stretch with Jo and her friends in the rear of the trailer. He chose to completely ignore her, with his eyes only fixed on the scenery passing by his window. 

He met Brady that morning when he came in with Nyla, but for some reason, Brady looked a bit aloof with him, and Sam didn’t bother to ask him why. With the kind of mood he was in, he wanted as much time alone as possible. The moment they entered the trailer, he went to the rear end of the bus and took the last window seat.

There is so much commotion from the rest, singing and playing guitar, but Sam dozes off in spite of that, until they reach the spot near the lake. 

There’s a soft touch that wakes him from his deep slumber and he wakes up with a start only to find Brady’s concerned face over him.

  
“Are you okay, Sam?”

“Um, yeah. I’m sorry I dozed off. I didn’t have a good night sleep yesterday and was very tired. Hope you all didn’t mind.”

“No problem, they all had fun anyway, but it could have been better for me with you. I was feeling a bit bored you know,” says Brady sitting next to him.

“Where are the others?” asks Sam concerned.

“They all just got down. I… I thought I could have a word with you before we started this picnic.”

“About what?” asks Sam, hesitating. 

“It’s about us. Sam.. look, I wanted to tell you that I…”

“SAMMY!” comes Dean’s booming voice that startles both of them. “Yeah?” Sam answers and Dean comes bounding into trailer. When he reaches their seat, he stops short out of shock of finding Brady along with Sam, both huddled together in the two seater.

“Um, Is everything okay?” he asks looking from Sam to Brady.

“Yes, Dean, everything is okay,” answers Sam. “We were just alighting the bus,” he says as he gets up picking his back pack and Brady gets up too. They soon get down from the vehicle and start to unload the camping gear from the trunk. They have parked next to the gambien lake, its beautiful blue waters spread in front, filling their view. “Wow, it looks beautiful,” says Sam as he places the materials down with a thud.

Soon, they get busy setting the campsite, nailing the tents in place and fixing the wood required for the bon fire that they planned to light later. With all of them working together, they are done in the next half hour and ready to go for their trekking.

“We’ll push off now, do a bit of climbing and be back at the lake by 2 in the afternoon,” declares Ash as they all start to follow the trail and climb the little hill that was filled dense with thick foliage and huge trees. Ash has the map in hand and he leads them from front as the rest follow suit. Sam stays in the back, as he doesn’t want to walk along with Jo, who is in the front along with Dean. 

Soon Brady falls in step with Sam and they walk in silence, not saying much to each other. Sam wants to know what Brady tried to say to him when Dean walked in on them in the bus. But he doesn’t want to ask him then since they can be overheard by the others. He knows it must be something important going by Brady’s expression. He glances at him when Brady isn’t looking and going by his somber mood, he decides it isn’t something pleasant. Sam’s mind quickly jumps to thinking that Brady is going to break up with him, as Jo’s plan of getting Dean had become successful. Now there’s no need for him to pretend to like Sam anymore and may be he’ll break up with him and Sam will be back to square one of being single and alone. Dean has Jo for himself now, but Sam has no one. 

He doesn’t realize that they already reached the peak of the hilly trail, as he was engrossed in his own thoughts. They come to a spot frequently visited by fellow trekkers and they all huddle and sit there in the shade of the tree under a large boulder. Most of them are out of breath and panting but Sam doesn’t even feel a least bit tired. He looks at Dean and sees him being nonchalant too, an indication to their level of fitness. 

They drink water from their backpacks and pass out energy bars and biscuits while doing small talk. Jo and Dean sit side by side, Jo holding Dean’s hand and Sam looks away only to catch Brady’s eye. He smiles hesitantly, as Brady returns his smile. Sam couldn’t help notice how magnificent Brady looks, his long hair blowing in the wind, his eyes catching the sun and appearing light, and he’s looking right at him, sweeping up and down Sam’s body and Sam involuntarily shivers. They are actually seated on the far end of the group, with the guys being too loud chatting and laughing and yet Brady seemed only interested in watching Sam. Sam tries to look away when he locks eye with Dean who’s been studying him and Brady, his face a bit grim and as he quickly turns away and towards Jo who seems to be incessantly chatting with him about something. 

They spend a few more minutes gathering their strength as they gather together again to start their trekking down to reach the campsite to cook food for lunch. The trek down the hill only takes half the time they took to climb and before long they are back at the campsite setting the barbeque for roasting the meat that they brought along.

Time goes fast as they finish lunch and play games and have fun. Not for Sam though, as he finds it hard to face Jo and because of that he avoids Dean too since she seems attached to Dean’s hip all the time. Sam sits alone working on his guitar that he brought along, strumming some songs and listening into his iPod. Brady seemed engrossed in the game the gang was playing and for once Sam feels better to be left alone. 

Soon it becomes dark and they start to build the bon fire, at the center of the camp site, around which they had set the three tents. The trailer is parked nearby and they cook sandwiches using the stove along with swigging beer that gets passed along. 

The night has gotten chillier and Sam feels the nip in the air. He shivers involuntarily as a cold breeze blows and immediately feels a hand around him and he turns around. Brady is standing behind him, covering him with a shawl that he brought with him and Sam doesn’t refuse. “Thanks,” he says quietly as he wraps himself around with it. “C’mon Sam, let’s get closer to the fire,” Brady says as he walks towards the fire and Sam follows him without a word. 

Dean along with Ash is building the fire and they succeed by making a big bon fire that’s large enough to produce enough heat for all of them. They huddle and sit around on blankets and Ash brings in his guitar to start singing songs and soon others join. Sam sits on a spot and hugs his knees to listen to them and Dean who had gone to the trailer to bring his guitar comes to sit beside Sam. 

“You’ve been awfully quiet since we came,” Dean whispers to Sam as he sits closer. “Is everything alright?”

“Um, yes, everything’s fine,” says Sam urgently. 

Dean fixes him with an intense look as he sighs and turns towards his guitar which he starts to tune. Jo materializes from nowhere and comes to sit next to Dean asking him to sing her favorite song and Dean obliges. Soon he sings Lobo for her as she joins him and the whole group woos and wows them and Sam just wants to scream. It seems like it goes on forever until someone exclaims that it was past 9 and they have to go to bed. They get into their tents and some go into the trailer and Sam watches Jo taking Dean’s hand and dragging him towards one of the tents. 

“Would you care to spend a while with me here?” Sam startles at the voice in his ear and looks up. It’s Brady who’s leaning down next to him who then comes to sit beside him. Sam nods his head and Brady smiles in return. He looks over at Dean and sees him enter and Jo zipping down their tent. Suddenly the place looks deserted and its only Sam and Brady sitting there completely hidden from the others because of the shadow cast by huge trees. With no one to disturb them and the only sound coming to them is from the crackling from the wood burning, Sam feels at ease. He turns towards Brady and asks him, “What did you want to tell me in the bus? You said it was about us?”

Brady looks undecided for a moment and then says, “Sam, I want you to listen to me completely before you make any decision, okay? And I won’t mind if you get mad at me. I just wanted to tell you this for so long but Jo”… he hesitates for a moment and looks around to make sure no one is watching them. “She didn’t let me. But I want to come clean to you. It was Jo’s idea to make me go after you. It was her who challenged me that I have to make you date me.” Brady pauses and looks at Sam to see if he is angry at what he just said. But Sam looks at him without expression and Brady has no option but continue. “I didn’t want to do it at first, but when I met you, I thought this could be a fun challenge since you didn’t look too smitten by me and I liked that. I was thrilled to take up the challenge from Jo and make you fall for me.” 

“I knew it,” Sam interrupts, wrapping the blanket around him tighter, “Not initially though. But I had an altercation with Jo a few days ago and she may have slipped in a hint that she wanted to trap me into something. Honestly though,” Sam looks straight into Brady’s eyes, “I actually don’t mind that you did it. And I’m not mad that you are finally coming out clean and breaking up with me. It’s not…” 

“Wait, I’m not breaking up with you, I love you,” Brady blurts out and Sam stares at him, not understanding. “What?” he asks in confusion.

“Yes, that’s what I wanted to tell you. I started this as a game but now I have seriously fallen for you, I think you should know that.”

“You love … me?” 

“Yes Sam, I love you. Every day, I come to school to see you, every hour I spend with you, I adore you. I have fallen for you Sam, that’s what I’m trying to tell you. But I know that you don’t love me, so I thought I’d confess my love to you but at the same time, I’d leave you alone if you don’t want me, Sam.”

Sam’s eyes are wide with shock, he doesn’t know what to say. He is bamboozled with emotions that he cannot fathom. Dean has Jo now, Chad has Peter. Everyone around him is going about their own life and Sam is alone now, and he needs someone to keep him sane. Brady is the only one who has feelings for him and if he lets him go, he’ll have no one else. 

He nods his head slowly, not able to meet Brady’s eyes. Brady told him the truth that Jo challenged him but Sam is a coward. He can never tell him how he tricked Brady into thinking he wanted to date him because he wanted to get to Dean. 

He slowly looks up at Brady, who is eagerly looking at Sam, his eyes shining and a bright smile on his gorgeous face. He asks him hesitantly, “You sure?”

Sam nods again. “Yeah, I’m sure,” he says shyly. 

”Oh Sam, thank you so much, you are so beautiful,” Brady says dreamily, as he leans in and as Sam looks at him with wild eyes, takes his lips in his and kisses him.

Sam shivers, partly from cold but mostly from being swamped with pleasure, as Brady’s warm body presses on him and he, in turn, hugs his hands around Brady to bring him closer. “Mmm,” Brady moans as he deepens his kiss and Sam melts and feels his body become jelly. 

They kiss for a frantic few moments as Brady gets up dragging Sam along with him to the nearest tree trunk and pushes him against it, before embracing him wholly, kissing him breathless. His thigh presses against Sam’s crotch, making him part his legs wider, and Brady’s thigh gains entry between them. 

Sam gasps, as it had been too long without any sexual contact and he can’t even remember when he masturbated last. He kisses Brady as his head spins in ecstasy. Brady’s leg is pressing against his groin, moving up and down and Sam feels he’s bursting down there, completely turned on. They both are wearing sweatpants and through the soft material, it’s easier to feel each other’s boners. At one point Brady presses his hardness on Sam’s and rubs himself against him and Sam loses it. “Brady, I’m gonna come,” he says as Brady picks up speed and rubs himself faster, kissing Sam passionately. With an earth shattering orgasm, Sam comes first and buoyed by the visual, Brady comes too and they both come together, tangled in each other’s arms, collapsing against the tree. 

When Sam comes to, he realizes he’s still hugging Brady tightly, while Brady is nuzzled against the crane of his neck, riding on his blissful aftermath. Sam slowly opens his eyes and his eyes grow wide, with shock, as he sees Dean standing at a distance, watching them with a grim expression on his face. As he senses Sam spotting him, he wordlessly turns on his heels and walks away to his tent. 

Sam is still reeling from the shock of seeing Dean, when Brady notices his face and asks concernedly, “Sam, is everything okay?”

“Oh yeah,” Sam stammers, “Everything is fine.” 

“So.. Did you like it?” Brady asks hesitantly.

“Oh… yeah.. yeah.. I loved it,” Sam says blushing as he just realizes that Brady is talking about what just happened between them.

“I loved it so much,” says Brady, “But this set up isn’t what I had planned for our first time,” he says smiling, “There are a lot of firsts that we have to experience together and I intend to do them in the privacy of a room. My room in particular,” he says as he asks hesitantly, “My parents are going to be away on travel in the coming months, would you like to come sometime?”

Sam smiles, flushing slightly at what Brady is insinuating. “Um, okay,” he manages.

Brady gets excited at hearing that, “Okay, it’s late, let’s get back to our tent. I’m sure if we try, we can squeeze in along with Ash and his girlfriend, who won’t mind us being a bit naughty,” he says as they walk towards their tents. But he stops short as Dean materializes out of nowhere, walking towards them, looking tense.

“What took you so long?” he asks looking at Sam standing behind Brady and not waiting for an answer, he continues to speak to Brady. “There is a small change of plans. We decided to shuffle tents and Sam is going to sleep in that tent along with me and Ash.” 

Brady stammers, “Oh, I thought..”

“It’s been decided,” Dean says determinedly as he looks at Ash and Ash shrugs his shoulders without a word. 

“Okay, then.. have a good night, Sam,” Brady says and when Sam least expects it, leans in and kisses him on the lips. “Nighty night, babe.” Sam is stunned but has the presence of mind to return the kiss even though Dean is watching him with daggers in his eyes. “Good night, Brady,” he says as he follows Dean and Ash into their tent. From the side glance, he sees Brady entering the tent on the right along with Nyla and her boyfriend. He sighs and turns to see Dean holding out a blanket and a makeshift pillow for him. Sam takes them from him wordlessly and lies down on one of the sides of the tent and goes to sleep.

  
The next day goes by fast, with them enjoying a swim in the lake followed by a sumptuous meal made with yesterday’s bread and ham and sausages. Around 4 in the afternoon, they leave the site after packing their camping gear and settling them into the boot of the trailer.

Dean doesn’t ride shotgun with Ash, instead, he chooses to sit with Sam on the aisle and Brady is pretty much silent for the rest of the journey. Sam doesn’t understand what’s going on with Dean, because he is pretty sure that he is mad at him since he saw him making out with Brady. That angers Sam since it was Dean’s idea to date Brady, what did he expect him to do? Play basketball with him? 

Sam doesn’t understand what happened in the afternoon at the lake too, as he and Brady were playing, toppling each other from under the water. One time though, Sam felt him being pulled from under by the leg, he ended up going under the water and he hugged Brady, locking both his legs around his hips and kissed him on the cheeks, only to realize that it was Dean. He gasped and came up for air and quickly looked around to see if anyone watched them. Luckily, no one did and Brady was with Nyla and her boyfriend at the other end of the lake. He stared at Dean, about to apologize but Dean just winked and swam away. 

Its almost 8 in the evening when they finally get dropped off at their house and as they unlock the front door, they realize that John hadn’t yet come home during the weekend. There is a voicemail on the home phone though, saying that he would only be back on Wednesday since the job ended up being more tricky than usual. They heat up old leftovers from the fridge and toast some bread for their dinner. And until they finish dinner and retire to their bedroom, Dean doesn’t talk to Sam.

Its 10’ o clock and both are in their beds with Dean listening to music and Sam reading a book. Just when Sam decides to close the book and go to sleep, he hears Dean clear his throat. 

“So, did you have a good time at the picnic, Sammy?”

Sam looks at Dean and after bookmarking his page and keeping it on the nightstand, he says, “ Yeah, It was good, I enjoyed myself. What about you?”

“I hated it.”

Sam looks at Dean sharply. He can’t make out Dean’s expression clearly as its still dark on Dean’s side of the bed but he can say that Dean doesn’t look happy. “Why?” he simply asks.

Dean moves to the edge of the bed and as the light from Sam’s bed side lamp illuminates his face, Sam can see the abject misery on Dean’s face as he says, “I thought I could do this, Sam. But it looks like I feel miserable doing it. I.. I saw you and Brady… under the tree…” his voice trails and Sam doesn’t know what to say.

“Dean…” he stammers, “You know how it is. I’ve been dating him for the last few months and that was the first time we…” Sam trails his words but he picks up speed as the pent up anger rises in him. “It was you who said that I should date him. If was because of you that I went ahead with him. And now you have no right to..”

“Wait. I didn’t tell you to date him. I found out from Jo that you were dating him already. Now don’t put this on me. I just gave you the go ahead. And all I’m saying is that I’m finding it difficult to adjust to seeing you with him. I feel like I want to smash a wall right now.”

“I wasn’t dating him before,” Sam says softly, looking down at his hands. “I was pretending to date him so that you would get jealous,” he looks up at Dean and watching the confusion in his face, he continues, “Yeah.. I screwed up. I thought you would break up with Jo and ask me not to date Brady but you went in the other direction and proposed to Jo.”

As Dean looks at him horror, he continues, “But it’s over now. There’s nothing that you or I can do to change the course. Jo, spoke to me when she had sent you away on that errand, where she pretty much told me that she knew that you and I had a thing for each other and that she arranged for Brady to hit on me so that she could have you for herself. And that you fell for it.” Sighing, he continues, “And I went to the picnic pretty much prepared to break up with Brady but he came clean to me, Dean. He told me by the fireside, that though he started it as a game, he grew to love me and has fallen for me. I mean, here I was, playing games with him so that I could make my brother jealous and he was being sincere and confessing his love for me.”

“What did you say?” asked Dean urgently.

“I told him that I love him too. That I would go steady with him. And that’s when he kissed me. And then we made out under the tree and that was our first time.”

Dean flinched as Sam said those last words as he couldn’t take it anymore. He put his head in his hands and sat there for a minute as Sam kept mum. 

Finally Dean looked up, rubbing his face with his hands and said, “Okay, I’m sorry for this mess. I, absolutely have no reason to ruin your happiness, but you just got to give me some time to process this, okay?”

Sam nods his head emptily as he doesn’t know what he is supposed to do. His mind is confused with various thoughts and honestly he is tired of this. He still has feelings for Dean, that is never going to die away, but he’s not going to ditch Brady for Dean when Dean has been going back and forth like this. He just doesn’t have the energy to fall in and out of love with Dean because every time Dean comes closer by a foot, he goes back by several. And honestly, Sam is not in the mental capacity to mend his broken heart anymore. He needs to give Brady a chance especially after the way he has been patient and loving towards him. He looks up at Dean who is still sitting in the same position, deep in thought. “Good night, Dean,” he says softly and switching off the lamp, he lies down with his back towards him and drifts off to a peaceful sleep.

  
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End file.
